did anyone take this guy home? *UPDATE* someone did! a dude named jubal brown, his painting is up and to the right of mine. wicked!

Jubal Brown is a video producer and multi-media artist based in Toronto, Canada who gained notoriety in 1996 when he deliberately vomited in color on paintings at the Museum of Modern Art in New York and the Art Gallery of Ontario in Toronto.

funny in a way that it is so NOT a funny story actually, for this guy, but it has a happy ending at least THANK THE FUCK THAT SHIT COMES FROM!

so basically for the past month i’ve been thinking i have JAUNDICE. i know right. at my last physical it came up in my pee test, i was also on my period (when am i not?) and was out late drinking late the nite before so my doctor wasn’t concerned, my eyes aren’t/weren’t yellow nor skin (seriously JAUNDICE ARE YOU KIDDING ME!) so she did not send me straight to a hospital, she did blood work and said she would not call me if it came back fine and dandy. so she didn’t call me for a month, but did that make me NOT think about my jaundiced liver for the past month? AH-FUCK no on that. do you know how many times i have stared at my eyeballs in the mirror over the past month and festered on this rich piece of juicy information from you dweebs? i did not tell my mom because she already nags me enough, i did not tell my dad (hi dad) for obvs reasons, or brother cos he would immediately tell my parents duh and i didn’t tell you cos holy crap, blog jokes forever right.

anyway, i went in today to find out my results and guess what? PERFECTO PREP. even my b12 is normal and that never ever happens. so how the hell did being halfway through my period and sucking back vodka sodas til 1am make jaundice appear in my urine?

oh who cares, i don’t have it so now it’s miller time.

ps. DO NOT wikipedia jaundice if your doctor says you might have it because you will then decide that you have every letter of the hepatitis alphabet too. every tiny pain in my stomach for the past month oh you better believe it was the JAUNDICE MONSTER and oh what fun its been.

YUM!

GO TO SWITCH CONTEMPORARY TONITE MAYBE YOU WILL WIN MY PAINTING OF ME HUMPING HELLO KITTY OR SOMETHING EVEN BETTER AND YOU CAN SEE ZEESY BEAMED IN LIVE FROM JAPAN!

Zeesy Powers Live From Japan
Switch Contemporary, 2217 Dundas St. W.
8 P.M.-11 P.M.
So, I am in Japan doing a 7 month artists residency at CCA Kitakyushu, and I’ve run out of money, it’s a great program in a well-respected international institution (see kitakyushu.org and judge for yourself), but there are no grants for 7 month artists residencies in Canada. Anyhow, my amazing friends are running an amazing fundraiser for me at Switch Contemporary, and you should be there and bring your money.
Performances by Laura McCoy, Trudy Poot and Her Plurals, Darrah Teitel, a puppet show, and Live from Japan via interning and There will also be an art auction, featuring work by Yuula Benivolski, Xenia Benivolski, Jubal Brown, Lillian Chan, Amy C Lam, Elle McLaughlin, Tina Ratface, Simone Schmidt, Fiona Smyth, Nikki Woolsey, Zeesy Powers and more!
DON’T MISS THIS, I DON’T HAVE A TICKET HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!

my niece has arrived from japan!

so has a bunch of xmas cards. this year i’m not sending any, sorry guys.

so, my blythe is scabbing, you know the type of scab you get from sitting in the bath with a wound and it gets all gross and wrinkly. except i didn’t sit in the bath and i am not allowed to for like two weeks now what the fuck am i supposed to do with myself? don’t worry this will definitely not turn into the tattoo blog like how nerds turn their blogs into wedding blogs (no offense ya snooze fests) and then being married blogs ugh. though i am somewhat into the minute tedious details, like how i enjoy reading the side of a box of cereal, it’s somehow fascinating to me? and of course everything i say is sprinkled with hypocrisy and bipolarisms (same thing) so basically yeah this is my new wedding tattoo blog for the next short while. we might even go to bed bath and beyond if we have enough time!

i do not think i will get an entire arm sleeve so you guys can chill, i don’t feel like i need to make a mural up and down my arm with rainbows and stars and other shit now that i have ONE tattoo, who made that rule, a puddle of aids? (kat von d) when renita first started i thought to myself well i guess this is the only tattoo i will ever get cos this hurts so fucking much. then you get over it. i am a big wimp when it comes to pain, they have to use the infant butterfly needle on me at the doc office (i have teeny veins) and i still cry (mostly from mental exhaustion) and they always look at me like are you for real? now when i go back with this tattoo and cry from a wimpy needle they are going to die laughing, like how big fat menacing-looking guys are actually sensitive teddy bears.

my new psychiatrist talks like john nash (russell crowe) in a beautiful mind, eyes closed with glasses head nodding with every thought, kind of looks like him too, i was SO close to interrupting myself from crying and asking him why he talks with his eyes closed, didn’t. i have a feeling it is going to distract me only more so in future sessions. i wish i had a tick like that, all i have is constant ear picking and obsessive letter counting.

remember i said don’t fall asleep with a band-aid on?

get a load of my pinky, thanks nana!

of course having it as tight as possible didn’t help. it’s fine now.

my modest amount of blue menu chicken strips and i even gave one back to fil. later on he was telling his mom that we (i) had eaten SO MUCH that day and therefore did not require an appetizer that i politely requested. sometimes fil gets himself confused with me.

now fil’s, see. remember this next time you open your mouth fil.

i’ve had this bag lady sweater for 5 years now.

sigh, miss this guy so much, it doesn’t even exist anymore! my aunt drew this.

ps. everyone! fil’s birthday party is on friday december 19 so if you want in, let me know not like i am STRESSED OUT ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING!

me: hi

me: anyway based on that you could get a tattoo
it’s in your head the fear about it, really it isn’t that bad, then u get to a point where it’s tolerable, plus half a t3 helps and some rye and five million advils from being on your period

weird, bad picture, possible new sweater trend?