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get ready to see me humbled, humiliated, abused, and punished!

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here i am signing in to The Motion Room with one of those visa things. by the time you get home there’s an email waiting for you asking about your session it’s really sweet. customer relations is important to me.

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look it’s a piece of history. this shoe i’ve had since i was 20.

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demonstrating the work out i do at my gym to james. this is what stationary abs working looks like. beauty eh?

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great posture. when TMR is done with me i will be a beautiful walker again.

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this is my hey it’s just us guys casual sitting position. total tom boy. i’m explaining my eating routine, drinking routine, everything. james gives a good mind ^%#$@ everything you say gets used against you when you’re training which makes me laugh. i said something like my body responds quickly to very little exercise and then later on as i was practically crying james threw it in my face. abuse motivates me. i also have to start a food journal, oh wait i have on already it’s called THIS BLOG.

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the lighting in that room is not flattering. i’ll have to come back with studio lighting next time hahah.

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why did i wheel myself out there i forget? there must have been a good reason for it. oh yeah, being immature. that’s right.

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measuring me all over. nice chin. thanks genetics. thanks mom. is that from the kerouac side or nana?

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reminds me of jazz class getting sized for costumes.

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i want to die right now some of these are so unattractive. my photographer is trying to torture me i must have pissed him off at some point.

Hi Raymi,

This recent post of yours Appreciate the hater’s fate caught my eyes.. fitness training = good on ya! Getting myself a trainer is one of the best things I’ve done for myself. I send many wishes of success your way!

Also, on the subject of discussing implants.. foot the bill… et. al, (and someone has probably already mentioned this) have you heard of:
www.myfreeimplants.com

Just thought I’d put that out there..

M

hmmm. that’s pretty tacky. thinking about it…

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oprah and i have arms in common.

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thorough.

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later on while doing lunges on that weird ball james was complimenting my technique and balance, leg form, i then sprang it on him that i took jazz for many years. cockily. i wonder how he will use that against me next time hahaha. he said dance training is the best for work out.

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ugh. you’re welcome everybody. there’s nothing like watching other people work out eh?

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go ahead. measure that shit. my legs are awesome. speaking of, why didn’t we measure my ass?

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unnecessary but after all that humiliation (and getting weighed) i demanded an ankle measurement.

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fat ultrasound.

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this was awkward. good thing i wore underwear. a comedian said once, you can be naked in front of your wife, you can be naked in front of your doctor but, being naked in front of both of them at the same time? blush city.

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um do you want me to kill myself guy?

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this reading sucked, we redid it. i have about a centimeter of fat surrounding my arms. maybe an inch. walking into oncoming traffic now peace.

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from the top of the image down, the gap and darkness is fat.

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as long as i stand very still and pose the fatness can’t get me.

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this cartwheel made me see stars for a minute. i didn’t eat before because i am stubborn AND i secretly had some americano. that’s right james. i needed it i had the worst sleep the night before. my mind is a battlefield.

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i am going to have to bring a different water brand tomorrow even though i am so the type of consumer that succumbs to fancy water marketing it’s just that every time james said smart water i thought he was about to call me smart mouth and then i’d go into a giggle frenzy. anyway, jennifer aniston is a liar, the water didn’t make me any more smart but good on her for the campaign it gave all of toronto the opportunity to draw mustaches neighbourhoods, bus shelters, the entire city over.

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future wifestyles. picture that a shopping cart i’m pushing, or a pram.

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please remind me about my posture at all times.

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i am faster than the speed of light. or camera shutters.

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pretty arrogant at first, you start out all easy and then level 14 or so you want to die. did i make it that far?

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that’s the money bangs swoop parting angle shot. DO NOT FORGET IT.

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i sounded like a p0rno though that is not the expression of enjoyment.

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totally mad woman here. all the mental garbage they say to trainers on fat loser shows is the real deal.

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this part sucks but i enjoy challenges, so then it doesn’t suck so much.

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ten minutes and he’s on you the whole time. there is no way i could or would do this on my own. i tried to cheat and press the level down nearing the end. not to be cute or anything it’s just, that hard.

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jesus are you kidding me here?

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yeah and this is just better. it’s reality baby.

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when you finally get off that thing your legs feel like they’re a thousand pounds. so heavy, you can barely move, the gravitational pull is so strong you want to become one with the floor.

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after-stretch toe touch.

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i was able to touch passed my toes. i slammed that thing so hard to get it to slide as far back as possible. you get to do it more than once thankfully. haha look at my shoes i am a teenager.

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this looks like i didn’t even get it passed my toes at all so maybe i didn’t afterall. ugh. well that’s what happens when 60% of you is legs. hmmph. all shrimps are flexible.

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can’t wait til my arms are ripped again.

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this test is stupid. you are stupid. YOU ARE ALL FUCKING STUPID. hahaha cry baby.

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that’s a pretty elaborate box just to measure how inflexible people are what is this 1900? can’t they make something more efficient that takes up less space? what else does this do, opens up as a storage locker? are shoes and socks and a whistle contained within? i am so getting it tomorrow i know it i’m scared. i accidentally typed sacred. i am that too.

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i am going to wear my funkiest socks.

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ugly walking test. i didn’t know why i was doing this but now i know why and my feelings are hurt now. just kidding, i don’t get hurt feelings i pay someone to get hurt feelings for me DUUUUUUUh.

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thankfully there are mirrors everywhere so you can keep your posture in check.

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dear playboy. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

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i learned so many moves to do on this thing.

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like the move from titanic.

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getting balanced. finding the sweet spot. if you’re anywhere near to as OCD as i am it may take you a little while.

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i’m propellering my arms forward and then backward and those guys are falling in love with me back there.

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side leg lunge lift things i dunno, it’s hard though. i am good at it because as previously stated, dance training. you might be shit at this. i challenge thee.

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squats.

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back that ass up.

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it’s better on a bubble. better for the core. you just feel everything this way.

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then you hitch hike.

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um, thanks for this.

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this one is the goofiest but does a lot of work. for what? i forget. casting spells maybe.

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we did it coach. oh and by the way, after the bike assault you wouldn’t break into this part of the body analysis straight away but because i am a hyper spazz perfectionist go getter i did it all in one day. if you haven’t worked out in a long time you would likely do this part the next day and you’d tell james where you were sore (all over) and he’d design you a specified test/routine (so much exercisey terminology to learn). my REAL test/training first go-round begins tomorrow. this is still totally a work out though i don’t care what they claim.

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james demonstrates some toe tap kicking. do these have names?

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i told you i was an angel. i’m floating. james is also photoshop worthy. i can easily place him in a nightclub setting.

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these weren’t as easy. lunge side squats.

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bahaha the tough-ass is finally coming out look at the reflection of james pointing if you can get passed the vision what is my ass.

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thanks for not telling me my tag was sticking out.

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this is so jazz class.

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dear diary, why am i such a wiener? i cannot figure it out. love, raymi.

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IT IS SUCH A MYSTERY.

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the work out endorphins must have been coursing through me see how smiley i am despite being tortured so.

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I HAAAAAAAAAAATE PUSH-UPS DIIIIIIIE-UPS!

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nice, um, angle.

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this is neat. my back is so arched cos i am so awful at push ups and my left hand has a carpal tunnel injury so it’s a bit strained. i will get better at these.

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just kidding this is actually a dance move we were working on.

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this has got to be the most inelegant pose ever.

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omg enough of those.

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i lifted my leg up in the dumbest way then collapsed in laughter.

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i got to do my favourite plank move. works your obliques (love handles). britt taught me it last year.

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do it on each side for 30 seconds.

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start to feel the pain.

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then die.

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giggled a lot during crunches cos of how goofy i looked and my pigtails pony tails’ head reflection egyptian arms also if james let go of my feet i’d flop back into the mat super hard loud and fast comedy gold.

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don’t rely heavily on the person/spotter though if you want to actually get something out of these crunches.

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this one scares me i feel like i am going to face plant into the ground and it will topple me i climbed off it like an old lady using a walker.

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was able to refrain (it was super hard though) from making a lewd observation here.

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this was the hardest part.

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so very worth it though.

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this looks like a circus act.

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or magic.

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i’m so glad i get to be personally trained three times a week. so far, all thumb’s up guys. NYE is just around the corner and you know what that means, time to join a gym or something for your resolutions to get in shape.

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woah that’s a struggle for sure.

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sweating makes my hair go brassy.

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i know i’m going to see results with a personal trainer way more than all the abuse i underwent since july at my crappy gym.

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i look insane. how would YOU look after all this?

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i know this move. it’s really hard after the whole assault. maybe next time i’ll start off with crunches? guess it doesn’t matter, if it’s hard to do that means they’ve already been worked out enough.

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passing it back and forth from legs to hands ten times ughhhhhhh i was at 9 and let it just roll away and said there’s a draft in here hmmm it just got away from me like that. cameraman was laughing his ass off all morning you’re welcome.

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you can vote more than once here with multiple answers (but you only get to actually vote the once), i know the answer to this question is complex. like me.

if there was a raymi tv show would you watch it
	yes addictively
	yes addictively but only cos i hate you
	no out of spite
	i lied when i chose no i’d really watch it
Free polls from Pollhost.com

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light headed.

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there’s that million (canadian) dollar smile. and dimple. i am a cabbage patch kid. we were born the same year btw. also so was the chicken mcnugget and billie jean was the number one song.

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pig tails stayed with me for the day in fact my hair is still pig tailed right now, totally totally messily though like i slept in a cave in the dark ages. and by pig tails i mean pony tails DON’T CORRECT ME. EVER.

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look my fat chin vanished.

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dear everyone, thank you for joining me on my gettin’ toned quest. you should try it with me. we’re not spring chickens forever you know. if you join TMR we can work out together it will be funnnnnnn.

awww thanks shulgan “I really do think she’s an under-recognized national treasure. She recently celebrated her 10-year anniversary, and her achievement over this last decade is ridiculous. No one comes close to her productivity, nor does anyone match the consistency of her excellence.”

(actual ten year mark is THIS SUNDAY)(and my dad’s birthday).