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romantic ding dongs

Hello hello. As promised and delivered my fancy night on Saturday. Make sure your socks have suspenders because they might get blown off by this post you never really know what crazy shit will come out of me.

Or the imagery! I apologize that this isn’t a picture of both of my hands but then who would hold the phone to take the picture? Trust me I have considered hiring someone to drop in and take a bath picture of both my hands. You think up all kinds of awesome shit in the bath it’s the best place to think which has the least pens.

Sidenote, hung out with my literary bruh yesterday, read him a ton of raymi shit and he’s motivated to start pushing me again I mean not to brag or anything but this writing you’re reading is really good.

If only there was more time and motivation and like a monkey helper to just do it all for me. So tired.

I feel like I will have a book soon though.

My literary agent is ten times more lazy than I am. We last left it at talking publishers ok nevermind. My buddy (different guy) is going to turn his blog into a book, it’s all time we did that.

In true Raymi fashion I was spinning him yarn after yarn yesterday and he said, have you written about this before? Why not? What’s so cringey about it? I mean I think I’ve done all these crazy fun things in life just so I could write about them eventually anyway.

In about a month I’ll be able to focus and map that out more. Am moving. Also new gig starts up next week.

Here I was gonna talk about my date and then I went back to Capital Me. Oops.

Had pho Friday. With extra veg and meat. I always manage to weasel the best bowl (a small), and never have to pay for the extras. Meanwhile the guy always gets the large, doesnt finish and it has more noodles and less meat veg or just as much as my small. Second time this has happened now.

I am probably part witch. Not evil but just very good at getting my way. Don’t worry, lots of bad luck shit happens to me too no one is that blessed.

Bag of green. No more cheating. Had chinese yesterday. Idiot. Every little thing counts at this point. I’m one of those gains 5lbs from thinking about salt body types. Luckily I am stressed out of my mind and generally unhappy which keeps the weight off.

My hair is very red today. I added some red to my conditioner yesterday (a trick and tip to keeping your red) also my girl at shoppers said the more red you add to your red makes it more red. The red build. I see. I see. Lots of cold showers too of course ugh.

and hot baths don’t forget.

Winter is boring so a lot of exercising happens. Diet as well as exercise and you will get results. It’s a no-brainer and it’s not starving it’s just reduction of nutrition (aka “food”) coupled by willpower and spiderman climbers. Dating a volleyball player (on the side of his real job) has perks. Though it can be annoying when you’re already huffing and puffing and you get corrected on shit you have no extra energy for and want to be in your own zone, then we get in an argument about it. That’s what trainers are like though, they motivate by irritating you and it’s not a good session unless you want to launch them into outerfuckingspace.

Speaking of, my old gym and trainers wanted me back in there to help me get fit for my new thing but I did it all myself. I figure, once I am commuting into town more often it will be more convenient to do both. Living out here and coming in to train and then to what, get into trouble in Toronto? Becasue I most certainly will. So if decided that I still need to slim down (prepared if that’s the case) then I’ll go train at TMR again. I prob will anyway. I know the commuting alone makes me lose weight. Seriously. Anyone who is a lazy shut-in blogger knows that when you schedule appts and go out into the world leaving your precious cave at home, you’re gonna lose four pounds that day. Well at least that’s what seems to happen to me then I’m like I did all that running around I should probably reward myself with a bowl of pesto pasta mmm.

I am always fantasizing about pesto and maybe one day eating it. If you play mental food games with yourself it can help you deal with all the restrictions.

Glad we went to Pepperwood instead of the Keg. The Keg on a Saturday is like walking into a zoo of annoying suburban elitist families frowning in the waiting area because they don’t take reservations on Saturdays it’s a first come first serve basis. No thanks! Also it’s douchey, wasn’t in the mood for that kind of douchey. I live near Pepperwood it’s just so much easier. The girl playing live music was good too. Normally when I see the musician come out I’m like oh great here we go but then she was mellow and played (current) songs I knew. Some soloists make it all about them and have whiney ballads. I know Boylord would be a super annoying dinner band because I am just, really annoying.

All I wanted on Valentine’s Day was to wear this stupid little thing I bought and have a photo of it in my instagram feed like I won Valentine’s Day. I wore it a weekend later instead. Oh well. On V Day we hibernated. Yes Valentine’s Day is a dumb tradition that’s turned into competing with other chicks and like no romance. It was basically like go to shoppers and take out a shelf of crap then give it to me so I can ignore you for an hour instagramming this pile of shit while we eat chocolate. Cool.

I had the beef tenderloin and finger me potatoes. I didn’t eat any of them though. The tenderloin was Raymazing.

I bought these in Holland. Love them.

Slimming down makes your bigger underwear, funderwear. Like yay it’s fun that I can remember when these gigantic things were skin tight on me lol.

Not the best lighting in there.

I don’t know why I bother censoring it. I guess if it was my intention to instagram it where someone always flags me. I also recall when I was able to change the size of these stickers but something seems to have changed. Catwang is still cool about that though.

Winter whining forever.

We finished watching Banshee. New episode on Thursday so no we haven’t finished it exactly but you know what I mean.

I just thought about all the laundry I should be doing today.

Tried to get it all in. Next time I’ll take off my shoe and rest it on the counter. I can’t find that specific picture right now though it’s the guy with his Timberland boot on the bathroom sink so you can see his whole outfit bahahha. Or I can do an extreme selfie.

Fuck ya.

A woman gave me stink eye for using my flash to take a pic of my beef tenderloin. Bet yer ass I gave her “the look” right on back. We stared at each other uncomfortably for 5 solid seconds while I squinted my eyes but I broke the look first to go back to my date. I almost asked CAN I HELP YOU? I did look back again at her and she was looking again while talking about me to her date. YES it’s “rude” to use a flash but it’s not that big a deal. You do have the capacity to ignore our table. We’re fine-dining and we are photographing it for the internet. We bought it, we commemorate it you can take your foodie rules and shove them up your ass. Why are you sitting in the bar area where there’s more action if you want no flashes going off then?

I’m not fully inconsiderate though. I will make a point to not use the flash the majority of the time as a courtesy gesture but again, when I go places if I want to take pictures then I will. No one in this life has to concern themselves with what others are up to. If you’re so offended by everything why are you even going out? Women give me dirty looks all the time no matter what I’m doing so I don’t care anymore. I have a present for you it’s called YOLO.

We’re lightweights, it doesn’t take much to get us going. I think after our first sip we laughed for ten minutes about absolutely nothing. A facial expression can set us off. Or an accidental lips whistle, oh god don’t get me started ahhahaa.

Shared mussels. Goooood and garlicy.

What’s going to happen when I have really long red mermaid hair like Cousin It.


Saw my mom Sunday night for the Oscars and more booze cheating went down as it does. I’m her date tomorrow for some comedy thing she’s working. Will have to see if bf wants to go to that bet he won’t. I don’t think he wants to meet her haha. He didn’t meet her the first time around that we dated somehow managed to skillfully avoid it.

When she gave me these I was like what moron bought them for you. There is no chance she’d just go out and get me underwear for valentines day yeah right but anyway she’s like this is so a Raymi thing but even I feel too old to wear tights like that more of a Hailey thing.

I dyed Nana’s hair. She’s going away for 5 weeks. Happy to help. Having roots on vacation is the worst.

You can see the butt tan line.

There is NOTHING WRONG with nudity fyi. I’ve been a nudist (more or less) for many years and if it makes you uncomfortable, don’t look. Don’t actively look just to feel like shit. Some are inspired by me, by this. I am just saying either way being nude is nothing foreign to me so stop bashing me for it you’re wasting your time and energy.

Maybe my body is being accepted because I am accepting of my body. Showing it. I have dignity, a lot in fact.

I was actually afraid and expecting a huge family rift over it and it was secretly stressing me out big time and depressing me knowing I’d have to just fight for it and exhausted in advance about it. I’m happy that won’t be the case.

Was also refered to as a transvestite. Um, transvestites are beautiful, sometimes more feminine than actual females. The dig is meant to make me feel bad about having androgynous features and spoken by a desperate housewife. I guess I should get used to slags from jealous women. You think I’d be used to it by now. It only sucks that to move forward and live your destiny you have to go through so much garbage.

I am tired of being people’s punching bags who have sexual issues and are made uncomfortable by sex or by other women being comfortable being sexual or sexy.

I built my brand around sex because I am sexy. I didn’t craft this persona, it happened naturally on its own because I embody the passion necessary to live and breathe sensuality daily. This is how I am.

Okay it’s Sweaty Mercury time.


10 thoughts on “romantic ding dongs

  1. Looking good LW. I am having a shitty day. Please send nudes and feet pics to cheer me up. Also, watch out for potholes.

  2. all of your food looks great. haven’t had mussels yet. YET! Loving the french scarf and the stand up comedy jokes. do it again!

  3. We love your lack of inhibition about showing your body… it’s too bad that there are lots of tiny minds out there who find this offensive… your body is incredibly beautiful and we thank you for photosharing it!!!

  4. You look absolutely beautiful. All your parts. You’ve worked hard and it shows. One day, you’ll be 90 yrs old and all the parts will have fallen. You can whip out the photos any drive the old men wild! :) Red hair. I have to color every 3.5 weeks. And that’s washing my hair every two days. Do you mix your color as usual and simply add to conditioner? Gosh, that would make my life easier. Oh, and the jerks? People who feel the need to criticize and be hateful are envious and too lazy to accomplish their own achievements. Ass*****.

  5. What kind of soulless fool would call you a transvestite. I think you hit the nail on the head with your comments there!

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