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don’t hate-read your life away

Hiya fartosaurus rex! I’m on day 2 of no drinking again, which you’re not even really supposed to bother mentioning until day 4 because then wise asses with pictures of booze in their hands start popping up all over the place. Clem pretty much laughed in my face on day 6 when we played the central. So whatever. Are you supposed to only say something after a year of sobriety then casually point out hey its been a year? Who cares all I am saying is the power of this blog content is currently not fueled by breakfast in Russia. #vodka

It’s fueled by this now. Spiiicy.

And while I’m at it this is my favourite song right now. Must make concerted moves not to always and only talk about myself here. I want to do oldschool fluff blogging again. In theory. Like a top ten list of stupidity. Lists? People like them right? I also thought I might bring back the poll, so haters can show themselves. My first one will be: Do you like the band name Boylord? 1. yes 2. no 3. fuck you. I’m guessing 3 is going to be the reigning wiener of that one. See! Fun shit like that. #BLOGS!

Had a little reminder the other day why I don’t like drinking anymore. Yes because it is so fun feeling brain damaged all the time.

Speaking of Boylord, we are playing this epic little party on New Years Eve, I don’t know if you recall me mentioning it a million times before previously but in any case it’s a fact. Strombo hyped it. Buck 65 will be there. I am going to be dressed in something NEW & FANTASTIC. Here is the flyer! Dave Love is playing with us. #legendary

TEN YEARS. Guaranteed to see celebrities hipsters musicians cool people arty people too cool for school eccentrics the best of the best. I am also bartending. Come bring me presents and film my band we go on at 11 sharp and our setlist is adorable. I even tried on my wizard peacock caftan. Which I think I’m going to sell.

Gonna be good times.

Here we are rehearsing She’s not me with an effect.

and without.

Psyched to do this live. I’m going to do dance moves.


Gonna hit the mall today and get something to wear.

Holy cheekbones. That’s what two weeks of not drinking will do to ya I guess. I ate a bag of candy last night. I’m going to cut my candy intake in half this time around.

Hair game on point. I’d say en pointe but we aren’t talking about ballet here, people. Speaking of on/en, there is a truck that is parked in my lot that has a “baby ON route” magnet stuck to it that enrages me. The baby ON your route is gonna be a dumb baby like you. It’s good to know there is a baby ON your route, dipshit! uGHHH.

Yesterday was one for the pretty party books lemme tell ya! Anyway, cold packs work nice cos your eyeballs are like burning lightbulbs and eventually get too hot, helps get the swelling down plus good for headaches and feeling trapped alone in fear beneath the eye shades to think about your stupid fucking hangover like a wittle baby. hahaha. My friend is messaging me about his gigantic hangover right now and it is amusing as all fuck to me. Thank god for the friends we maintain correspondences with. Actually I’m going to do more website writing for him. Three cheers for friend-client relationships hahah did copywork for him before and it blew him away. Anyway.

Was so fungry yesterday. Fungover. Had a gyro afterward these eggs charlotte were not enough to satisfy my funger games. Had a salad for dinner.

Caught up with Sarah cos she was around the corner and FINALLY got what happened with he the night Jian Ghomeshi drove her home from that Travis concert we brought her to. Long story short he creeped her out. I told her she should sell her story somehow, so if you actually want to know you can contact me. #shameless.

Had a bit of a chill so had a hot bath.

A table of Tinder boys.

I think I might look hot with a trillion nose earrings maybe.

Made a salad.

Shower time excellent!

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