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leave the comfort zone

Having a nice holiday? Great. Live life like each day is a holiday and you’ll barely notice the actual ones.

Sooooo, big shocker, I had wine on xmas. And a cognac with a Polish man too. I will start the clock again, probably will be harder this time and I 1000% blame Christmas. A Little Raymi was like aw I liked reading your daily boozefree updates it was like an Advent calendar. I think 14 days dry was a valiant effort this time of year. Do I want to be obliterated on NYE? Part of me really wants to or at least be reasonably ineebs. Or professional. We will see which Raymboat wins.

It’s Christmas! I have so much to be ungrateful for! Good t-shirt slogan for next year.

My bf asked if I was going to break up with him after winter. Hmm good idea. HAhaheheh. He said I look like someone who would do that. His family adored me. Said I was VERY FINE and think I am SUPER INTELLIGENT. BF was like woah they REALLY liked you. Must have been all my racist jokes. Ha. Also I have an Italian face they said. I could feel it being stared at so I froze it in beauty smile queen mode. I think cos of my hair all swooped over intentionally effortlessly.. but yeah I’ll take Italian profile any day.

So yeah, Christmas was different this year. It always seems to be. Sad that Papa’s not around. Christmas is always a little saddening. LOTS of depressives on Christmas.

We didn’t exchange gifts this year which is totally fine but also illustrates how empty the holiday can make you feel. So I gave myself little pep talks to get through it like my family is gifted in beauty and in health, I’d rather have that. Beauty can get you gifts and one day I will look forward to that. It’s good to be rich in hope and blah blergh blahhhhhhhhhh fart. Lol.

I treasure each time I see my Nana. Glad to have made time to decorate her tree at the beginning of December or whenever that was. Bf had a moustache then so on Christmas she thought he was a different guy. I was like no worries Nan there ALWAYS IS another guy fahaha.

The skinnier I am, prettier, and better behaved I am, the less Nana digs I receive. This year she was just disappointed in the Holiday Inn food quality which my mom repeated that no one cared or noticed. My mom and Nana are like the odd couple. I made my mom compliment Nana before we left. She said Nana is her rock. Oh god now I am crying thanks a lot you guys.

Cousin Libby came out it was so good to reminisce. A friend of mine on FB was like is she your sister in law or something? I said no, cousin, and he goes she was remembered as the hottest girl from senior public _______. haha go Libby. She had an admirer in that room that night too, an old geezer who put his jacket on very close to our table and just legit stared at her, so funny. My mom has lots of pics of us I’ll post whenever she gets around to sending.

I have two holiday inn stories from two separate occasions staying at this hotel before when I lived in Oakvegas. Will save for SIX MONTHS IN MANSIONS. Which will probably be the ‘Big Sur’ to my literary eventual releases.

This was the only buffet plate I made for myself as it was second xmas dinner for me. Hey the ocean called!

Shawn regifted a bottle of whiskey from work to Nana and I passed along a scarf that was very Nana and she adored it. Nana has whiskey with a tea if she has a sore throat or some other old lady remedy thing. Love her. Doreen was there too. Such a pretty lady.

Today Jared and I will be jamming out.

Okay enough dilly-dallying. Stalk to you later.

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