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may contain some shade

Alrighty then pt. II of my almighty life on planet Earth begins meow.

This post will not actually feature shade though, it’s just some catchy copy thing I thought up yesterday but now that you’re here you may as well continue reading along. I always end up talking crap about something at some point eventually.

This was the last warm day and I’m glad we spent it at Niagara and it didn’t piss it away being normal. It was Remembrance Day.

This freak band was playing a Lady Gaga song. Mean.

Sky porn the whole way there.

Started out my day looking like this. I am too shy to wear this hat in public. Can I talk about myself for two seconds longer before moving on? Girls who are pretty or make effort to look pretty, get attention when out and about. Now I am not saying I am one of those girls, but I do get a lot of attention and I never seem able to deal with this attention in the right way. There must be a name for the weirdo syndrome I suffer from. Anyway, I have this tickle trunk of awesome things I grapple with wearing IRL but for why? Writers are devout over-analyzers. The only reason I over-adorn myself and “try” “hard” or “make effort” in my appearance is because I wanted to be as pretty as I was smart. I don’t think I am pretty but I knew how to make people think I was pretty, back in the year 2000 when I started photographing myself and blogging. Trying to impress the douchebags in VICE.

And do you know how many times I have been told that this will be sad when I am older. If I am still doing this. Well I am older now and still doing it. It should be rad, no? I am a relic. Of note. I’m not done yet. My blog turns 15 YEARS OLD in 7 days. I imagined myself being ten million different things by this point but I am also okay in being exactly who I am. Terrified of the future I cannot foresee but just taking it day by day.

It has been a trying couple of months. Life is not perfect. On top of that, my health in the last week has taken a nosedive also and has put some things into perspective. I haven’t spoken about it cos I don’t want to alarm people but mostly I don’t have answers yet. My friends are assuring me it’s normal but there’s also the fear in the back of my mind that it’s all over now. Come see me perform DEC 5 because it might actually be the last time you have the chance to. Oh yeah I’ve been getting really dark with it. I’ll keep you guys posted although part of me wanted to be like Bill Hicks how he was secretly dying of pancreatic cancer but continued being Bill Hicks 100% doing comedy and nobody even fucking knew. Comedians are clowns that never want to make you cry. Robin Williams, another example.

This original one is probably better but I didn’t like my closet being open. Sorry this is so vain and dark. I see my blog like a journal of self reflection that can also disgust me about myself too. Being real is really scary cos you’re forced to confront yourself constantly. I could entertain you guys with a long list of things I am disappointed in myself about but what would be the point, growth? Ew.

The leaves are all gone now, snow and twigs now frame the lake.

Just keep on truckin’ though.

I threw out those flowers finally. It’s funny when people come back to you and try to repaint the picture as it didn’t go down. Fool me twice mother fucker, nope. You blew it I didn’t.

I’m still working on my book. It feels like War and fucking Peace at this point ugh.

If there is a God, he is going to have some words with me. Or show me the slippy slide right down to Hell.

The morning after Fujahtive I don’t have party face too bad. That girl’s boobs are near my face. This is at Jack and Lois in the Hammer. Very good hipster fattening breaky. Seriously, there’s something called the John Candy for crying out loud. This woman eating a grilled cheese with macaranoi and hickory sticks plus other garbage at the bar beside us oh man, my beau was like hey buddy that looks great what is it? When we moved to a table I was like THAT WAS A WOMAN YOU IDIOT. AHhaha.

Thank God for Hamilton. I have missed quirky cultured and hip things.

They give you a basket of chips when you sit down too. I ordered off menu an egg white omelet and they put cheese in it w/o my asking urgg but other than that I digged everything about it especially staring at everyone in there. People watching should be an Olympic Sport.

Night of/after Fujahtive.

Hangs over the bar at 416 Snackbar.

Bumped into Lise here, that was nice.

He had to pick up something framed. A fugazi poster. Guys seem to like that band.

Went to Chucks Burger bar.

Felt angelic.


Even fuller on whatever day this was sigh.

The woman who was murdered by her bf around the corner was a regular at one of my pubs. :(

Vegan nail polish.

Tan time. Should I keep at’er or let my tan fade? I’m still pretty brown.

This is who I am seeing these days. He likes RUSH. I hate RUSH.

This is my breakfast standard. I feel like the poached egg makes up for the bacon and the grilled tomatoes cancel out the home fries. Just, humour me.

I really enjoy this picture of me. I could almost pass for somebody important if I weren’t dressed like Euro trash.

I brought two pairs of footwear cos my feet are high maintenance. My mom bought this sweater for herself, me and my niece one xmas. I seem to be the only one who wears theirs.

This is the money shot though. See how good the Iphone 6 camera is?

I still gotta dye my hair. I know it doesn’t really really need it so I slack. Ha right doesn’t need it then why did I make felt ball caps such a fashion priority lol. Anyone still reading do you like that I have been talking to myself for 15 years in a blog are you cracking u like me yet? ps hi.

I have been hanging out with this humongous mainecoon cat lately. He has a major underbite which exaggerates his feline features more so. He didn’t like me at first because he was barfing everywhere in protest but now he loves me and I have graduated to carrying him around, it looks hilarious.

Kinda blew my theory about how animals hate the touch of human skin. If you’re wearing shorts, your cat will leap over you to sit beside you instead of pants where they will nestle. Meanwhile here I’m holding Kingsley by the stomach and he’s not even fighting me.

Keep calling myself a runner but I haven’t run in a week. This is a thermal layer set I got from Costco.

Loving this feature.

This is my life now. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. Peace.

12 thoughts on “may contain some shade

  1. You look beautiful in all photos. “Clothesd” closet if not. I hope you’re well.. Let us know. Now I’ll worry. <3

  2. Hi, I haven’t read regularly as I used to, and I don’t know you at aaaaalll, but I’m thinking about you darling xo

  3. LOTS in this post.

    1. please don’t be sick / get better soon / hope it will be okay / ouch
    2. your hair is getting so long!
    3. you said beau! you said you have a beau!
    4. they always come back. always. in some way. even if. even when. even though. always. even when they don’t. they still do. because mindfucks.
    5. that couch? gorgeous. so incredible.
    6. i don’t like RUSH either and my first guy loved that band. he was american.
    7. when you get that book done, we’ll be waiting and ready for it.
    8. 15 fucking years!

  4. Hello dur! I’ve been enjoying your blog for quite sometime. Keep it up and I hope you feel well soon, girl. I guess that’s I’ll I got. I wish I had the balls/confidence/don’t suffer fools attitude that you have. Have fun this weekend! nicole in minnesota

  5. Take care of yourself, Raymeroo! TMI but two years ago I had an ovarian cyst rupture and it was AGONIZING. It all worked out though. 15 years…!!!!

  6. I dont hate Rush, I just don’t enjoy them. They’re a geeky dude band for dudes. Am I a dude? No I am not. Don’t take it personally Pierre I like tons of music everybody hates. Your video above only proves my point moreso.

  7. Are those freckles? Am I only noticing now? I’m sure that’s not what you are talking about in regards to your health though. Hope everything turns out ok. xo

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