Holla Holland.

Here’s the rest of the shit I uploaded days ago. I’ve been sick. Afflicted by some exotic dutch flu. Feels like dying. Didn’t drink for days and my Kerouac complex was going overdrive why are all my organs feeling as if punched out, whatever. Finally on the mend today but still pretty weak. They don’t have cold meds here, like nyquil day time jacked with speed pills. I know right. Going in to every conversation speaking english is spiked with anxiety because you know they are not going to comprehend what you said but are going to act like they did and you have a staring contest Mexican stand off. Then I just keep talking and pretend I know they know what I mean, I Kim Kardashian it and it works.

Classic. Maybe I got sick this day?

Getting a prosecco addiction here. Bottles are like 3 euro. It’s in every restaurant. Very light.

The sun finally came out. This was after the flower center, there’s so much to see in Holland and tiny little historical towns everywhere. I don’t name places or things cos I like to be preparanoid.

There are a lot of geezers in Holland, not many young people he said. People stopped having kids and the boomer generation is hanging on tight, we are the youngest people almost everywhere. Mom there’s a cougar bar for you and Lois in this one town you’d love.

Monkey see monkey do, he wanted an irish coffee. There was a spanish coffee, an italian coffee. Every alcoholic country got represented on that menu.

You would look better.

If you were wearing a hat. This country is mad for its sweets. Good thing my sugar tooth has vanished.

Top of the church looks like that.

Nice drapes!

I look like Howard Hughes. I had 5 blankets stacked and wrapped around my legs.

I stopped smoking mom. It was disgusting while it lasted.

This picture is TMI! Looks kinda ballin?

Jesus, chillax.

I have a picture of the plaque/the artist if anyone wants to know/cares.

Excuse me are you art?

Time to get bread. Bread Pitt.

I brought 6 pairs of black pants, sorry you have to keep staring at them. It’s shorts weather tomorrow. Right now I’m wearing a maxi dress.

I also don’t care. Minimal slob has always been my thing. I just wear all his hoodies. He’s like you look like me. People are drawn to things that look similar to them. Ha narcissists.

Fabulous bread.

You mean they were watching the whole time!?

Now I just need to take a picture of some tulips and clogs.

Today is a holiday. Holiday Sunday. Liberation day. Thursday is another holiday. Everyone goes bike riding that day, I get mine Wednesday. May is the month of holidays here he said there are no other holidays after this month ahha.

Flower for his mom then of course we had to pick out the best pot for it, so many choices.

Scene change. I woke up sick this morning, on the cusp of it. I think?

LOVE IT.

Okay now I get what’s going on here in this park – there’s gonna be weird at every juncture.

Right again!

Sweet. Pass the E.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh what is this Notting Hill?

I bet it looks ridonkulous today. We’re going out a little later after lunch.

I feel like I need equestrian boots here.

I should make this my FB profile photo, the club one is too dark. I still have to post that night before it gets lost in the Holland vortex.

Tons of fish, if we go today bringing bread or crackers.

These guys were pretty gangster. Didn’t give two S’s about us. Seen.

Ugh now what. I was on my period Lol. We went in to the park bickering about something then attempted to speed walk away from each other. It was funny. Lover’s quarrels at this point are cute. We are both Aries.

Someone googled is raymi pregnant? Yes I love to booze and drink while pregnant I mean, I’m in Europe after all.

That’s the orig, I am too pale. My hair is crap because I didn’t wash it. I’m giving myself a haircut later. I am keeping it as bohemianly real as is possible. Authentic experience. Oh my god wait til I blog about the schnitzel place in Germany last night, talk about authentic experience the guy is like okay I lit the pot to start our dinner an hour after we arrive hey guy I was hungry an hour ago when I first got here nah no take your time. If that happened in Toronto, hmm, well I think someone would have the sense to know to shut up about it but a regular person would walk straight out. I also enjoyed how he gave his hand out to me like a big fat sultan.

Yay they found their friend.

Holy! oh this reminds me I watched The Playboys on telly during the height of my fever but I didn’t finish it how does it end? Ah crap the cover of the dvd just gave it away.

Hello in there?

This reminds me of that Spice Girls video. Oh, what the hell?

I was team Scary Spice OBVS.

The new Queen is a QILF. Hat tip Jamie.

Aruba interval. This was a fun day.

And this was the last day, a mistake moment in time because I should have switched my flight to Caraco with him. It was fucking hell. Whatever that is then this is now.

How tired does this make you feel? Try watching it ALL DAY LONG.

The Netherlands flag is kinda France-like, except horizontal direction.

Hey I’m cool I’m hip I’m relevant! Bahaha. It kills me not to be able to dance like a mental case anymore. Now I just dance like an idiot.

DYING.

Close-up.

It was a pretty surrealistic day.

Here is a picture of me being nice to some girls.

Maybe this guy got me sick. Not that we made out or anything but I’m pretty sure he drunk spat in my mouth a lot. Ew hahahaha.

When we were going through these I was like oh man there’s something on my shirt, looked down, and it’s still f-ing there ahaha loser.

We exploded my head lei in the air in front of a table of guys, spontaneous Shakespearean art happening, they applauded. Sister bowed and curtseyed. Okay plenty of drunk magnificent moments it’s time to go. PS. Look I found a Shakespearean Insulter! Thou errant half-faced pumpion! Thou call’st thyself a hotter name than any is in hell. Thou art the rudeliest welcome to this world. Sick burns bro.

Your time will come too Klimt.

Sigh.

Whatever.

Good bye dead ends. Maybe I’ll do a Selma Blair thing, a long bob. No. Crazy girls cut their hair short.

On the other hand I was very conceited about my eyebrows yesterday, I gave them a shaping. Alright that’s all for now. I have some house wifery stuff to do.