Weeks ago

Cray Tray and Craymi. LOL. There are no variations on our two stupid names that won’t make me laugh my balls off right now, plus, the memory of this entire evening just came floooooding back. You guys are in for a treat. Anyway we got ready, or I did and pre-gamed. For the record she said this outfit was ok, okay?

I fell off my chair here. Well, slipped off. It was very graceful and delicate, slow-motion and my heels played a role. We all laughed at me I didn’t care. Hot mess. It was funny like no one was surprised.

This is their new fav place. Our pizza was comped. Either huge gaff or intentional.

Right after I fell. I just, disappeared. I was like a potato bug with my black pumps in the air and mc hammer benetton pants, it was a very slippy outfit I’ll have you know and I was on a bender you see. High chair and a high bar where the dimensions are all wrong and the wind velocity of the room as it were.

Do you spot Heavy Metal Jesus? He is real.

It’s like Cheers in there, I swear. ‘cept when you are the new girl and you have all these stories to back up that your mom spread throughout the bar about you yes working for PBE and then another trying to make it writer gets all competitive. I just sit there with my goblets of vodka soda and stare O_O. I am what I say I am now can I practice for Let me roll it please.

Lois was sexy Lois this night my mother narrated her every bar move. People get up to dance when karaoke singers sing, it is a scene lemme tell ya. Back stories on some of these regular players too for sure. We go out with a bang so I try and limit my face time at the Coach. Try to catch me next time cos it’s rare.

Mmmhmm. I like how you can rip on your good friend/godmother just in going, “Mmmhmm.” and then they’d laugh their head off that is called family/love.

No narration necessary.

HAhahaha stand off. Tracey versus the blokes. Cute. It was a fun time. Going as a group is always more fun, gong-show. In the car ride back Phil and Lois were in the front seat listening to me talk to my mom on the phone and were so super immersed in my colourful speech to her they were making side commentary and eating invisible bags of popcorn, so engrossed.

A pure moment. That’s Nick, our Elvis. Their Elvis. He’s eccentric. Red jacket, I danced my Madonna song with that chief, my mom filmed it and said that was the weirdest thing she had ever seen and my mom’s seen a lot of weird shit in her time no doubt. I said I know, I made it weird. I brought the f–ing place down.

raymaoke fubar 2 film fest afterparty @ wrongbar from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

Next time I’ll do a performance like this one and blow Heavy Metal Jesus right off that bar stool. I should have crowd surfed. That was the Fubar film fest party, epic night. I was the only one who got to do heavy metal karaoke do you know what it was like to have 300 people sing along with you to Metallica while you do, that? Awesome. I warmed up the crowd and a band went on right after. I was dressed like a skid on purpose, in character, Melodie didn’t let me shower or get pretty. A picture of me made it into Eye Weekly that night.

Raymaoke face. I did Let me Roll it first and it was pretty good, I haven’t done that before so I was nervous and got through it. Is writing about how your karaoke performance went much like a boring dream you had no one cares about?

Rhetorical! You love this.

Fast forward to Thxgvng long weekend. Awesome to spend it at Swiss Chalet where you never know what might happen. It is also my papa’s 83rd birthday soon so we hooked him up with a joint card that’s what’s up Ed! Love you xoxox.

Look, there’s the card now. Money spilled out, their favourite! It said something profound on it like you’re like a wolf on a boat up north and papa was like that is totally so me and I was like totally, we know. Papa said it in papa words though. He doesn’t care about the internet or cell phones, we are similar but I am like papa, that is my world though and people wouldn’t know about me if not for the internet. He always does a little Kerouac wisdomery on me.

Oh betcha we got separate bills lol. Poor waitress. Nah she was cool.

We were an entertaining unique spectacle for all the other families lol. I love watching how other people do it, too. Inventing back stories and assumptions, people can be fascinating. They put things in to perspective.

While I was trying to place my order everyone was talking to me and my mom kept trying to take a group photo so I had to order twice. Plus everyone made me change my mind. Omg families right?

The highlight was when the cake came out during an elaborate show down between a couple members of our party it was a scene right out of a movie I think people even clapped behind me. Fifteen employees or so, a cavalry, really, come out to run interference and it so totally worked, oh joy.

You only got one right. Also got pure nana guilt on how infrequent I call or visit. Nothing ever changes. Nana didn’t notice that I dressed to match her living room. And I didn’t bother to point it out either. I told the internet though, where it matters heheh.

Mom loves these moments you cannot escape Nana.

Here it comes bro!

Ah the nana lecture, you survived.

Uncle Mike is next.

See. Thanksgiving at a restaurant is great because you get to leave it all behind you and someone else cleans it all up.

Papa showed me his tendon finger operation stitches right as my mom’s soup came that was the same colour as the healing operation and, well, it was grossing me out.

Those guys over there LOVED the family fireworks. I turned around and nodded at the guy and said something like, pretty awesome right? I think that was the most excitement experienced at Swiss Chalet ever for him can we get a sponsorship please we love that joint and now that you are an adult you can order what you want and mom can shut the hell up.

Papa is now the age of the year of my birth. We had to ask around to figure out what age he was because I was going to write a rhyme in his card but it would be embarrassing if I wrote THIS IS WHAT BIRTHDAYS ARE FOR HAPPY BIRTHDAY EIGHTY FOUR something whatever like that. I love you very much xoxxo sufficed he was touched.

Then we bathed 4 kittens and I have the hand slices to prove it.

Whitey on the left is sold. Wizard cat for sure! I think I say for sure too much.

I went for a run before dinner. I am happy I ate light and healthy-ish T-Giving weekend. I love that we get it out of the way before Christmas.

There are still some adorable kittens left if you want one let me know.

That’s it. Normal family times blog post out. I’ll do something urban next, promise.

And congrats Robbyn Walsh! You scored a pair of tickets to the Toronto SKi Snowboard Travel and Raymi Show. You are awesome and now I will go listen to some Robyn, with just one b. Bye!