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Experience reviewer of the personal kind

Well mes amis, the family camera has been retrieved and now we may peep the evidence of last week’s bender known as NXNE. I feel like I barely did anything (aside from the parties) and yet this camera shows otherwise. Time and distance heals all. I completely forgot about this third-world toilet down in Tim‘s basement that the smart (or stupid) party people discovered and queued up for during the epic annual 159 Manning booze, bands, and bbq party Tim throws. Lets start at the beginning shall we then?

The smell of hot corn blanketed the kitchen and your body as you passed through it. The second we arrived I was compliment-attacked standing right beside one of the bubbling broiling pots about my dress and how pretty I looked. AW god bless hippie drunk hipster chicks! Had I not started drinking loads earlier I would have had better-equipped social skills to defend my it-girl shyness honour. Sometimes Torontonians are not social, they just aren’t, right? Also guys who fancy themselves big deals I find clam up a little bit.

Now Tim’s got a home to photograph and if The Selby is still at it then ding dong, we’re here.

Any guy with collectibles who throws a rager for stranger hipsters with so much fucking trust and honour or whatever is a nice guy. I bet he hid his best taxidermied posed squirrels though, he’s not stupid.

He’s also on my business card only because he just happened to be standing beside me during my gorgeous d-ball throw. I said yeah I can’t really throw these things and he goes yeah me either lol. I just liked that Strombo asked why Tim was wearing jeans when I tweeted it.

I gave him a stack for his collection of Timisms. By request!

It was a makeup melter that’s for sure though these last few heatwave days make that seem like a cakewalk now. Easy peasy.

Jam time with ShellShag and ps. Here is an actual rock review of all the bands and acts that played. I’m more of an EXPERIENCE reviewer of the personal kind. Ooh I smell a good blog title.

It makes me happy to see the CN Tower at a party in my line of sight it makes me feel on top of the world or more connected to my roots, my planet. It makes me feel more human than human. Shut up!

I was “too cool” to go up to Chris “the sloan guy” but I liked that he checked me out in my dress. I tell ya girls, white clothing makes people associate you as a delicate little princess flower if you can manage to not drink red wine or be a slob for a night it is worth all the attention you’re gonna get. Raymi Tip!

Oh hello risky business buddy. Bech & Teach wear the exact same glasses. I think it’s cute.

Sweet ampage.

They’re from BK.

I was gonna give the chick a doob as we were leaving cos they’re from out of town (was my logic) but I didn’t want to get stuck in a conversation so I didn’t and now I wish that I did. Meh.

Having a breastie you can communicate together telepathically with at parties so as not to show who you are making fun of or raising eyebrows at and freezing your face so they know to look over there is awesome. Don’t give me grief either because everybody does it and it’s not mean making fun of it’s just party shenans spectating. How many people do you think made fun of me that day for wearing that dress? It happens.

If you can’t laugh at yourself for shit like this then you’re taking yourself way too seriously. Instrument pyramids are an end-of-set rule to be made in to law if you’re going to be playing outdoors.

But if you’re a kazoo player I guess you’re SOL.


Hi Onizzler! Great givin’er with ya.

JULES! So bummed for you kid that someone ripped your iphone right out of your freaking hand. They’ll have bad shit befall them no doubt for living like a jerk-ass like that. Crime doesn’t pay!

I was pissed at myself for wearing my mary jane wedges and I blame Lauzzie cos she was going to wear wedges and Betty&Veronia Laurens™ have to be the same height at all times.


Now time for some Buck 65.

Time for pig.

The guy can rippity rap and beatbox, lyricist genius for sure.

Party packed but moveable.

Hey who’s your friend. Also note that guy’s epic accusatory storytelling face ahaha.

Vamp it up.

Where Lady Garbage is now :( RIP Kitten baby darling. Sigh.

That’s two Brendan nights in a row for your hero.

So close and yet so far. Look at that girl’s face haha.

Okay that’s the one.

Rebeccablahblah too please. See how I had a costume change.

The party was shuttin’ down so we milked it for as long as we could.

Waitin’ on that video thumbnail to change jajaja.

I just LOL at Rebecca. WITH REBECCA.

Serious face. Seriously serious.

It was a disgusting cigarette plume of smoke buffet out there where they quarantined the rest of the party revelers. Everybody knows how much I love to complain about smokers.

Who wants to have a picnic on me? I have had this shirt a long time. It used to have a bow. Adorable buttons go up the back and…

WTF IS GOING ON HERE NOW. F these smokers. Protest!

FTS lets go to the Horseshoe for Andre Williams.

Blink blink Rebecca. Casie grab that chick.

Legendary dude, legendary tavern.

I see you Casie.

It’s easy to walk through the crowd when you have MyLittlePonyTails and a smile.

Woah he looks tired.

Cabbage patch kids.


Too bad this one is blurry.

And this.

Wahh lol.

Okay in a cab now.

Some cabbies get crabby if you get in to the front seat I say MOVE YOUR SHIT. But then we get into a conversation and everyone is yelling in the backseat and I find they drive extra faster to get you to your destination to get on with their lives.

I’ve stopped aging, have you? JUST KEEDING!

Oh, did you need these?

Third outfit change! It was that kinda night and I made my own vodka tumbler drink (also that kind of night) to-go to Lauren’s place. I passed it back through the wandering crew parade of degenerates and no one was busted, and who knew where that glass ended up but I grin at the guy who discovered it, funny.

This one makes me laugh don’t ask why, many reasons. My high torso waist, crappy posture, drink, whatever, it all works and so thoroughly doesn’t at the same time.


And then the camera was left at Lauren’s and now we know why (bech forgot it) what a week! Love you all.

This is from two Sundays ago. It’s me being emo in advance about the cat. Off to collect my new toys for review. Oh dear.

21 thoughts on “Experience reviewer of the personal kind

  1. Awww sorry to hear about your cat… cat died June 10, she was 21!! My heart is broken too. Sucks………

  2. Oh man, I am really sorry about your kitty. I lost my best friend kitty 3 summers ago, and I still cry sometimes. Sending cyber hugs your way <3

  3. Hey, I like your blog. Can’t believe you been doing it for so long. Anyway, I wanted to find out, what is the make and model of the bag you are carrying, in couple of pictures, with following captions.

    -Hey who’s your friend. Also note that guy’s epic accusatory storytelling face ahaha.
    – Vamp it up

  4. Just a quick question: are black, brown, or asian people allowed at hipster events? Or anyone who wasn’t born into a middle class family?

  5. I got that bag at winners. Can’t remember the designers name…its not on me right now. Will keep you posted.

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