Rebecca’s video is funny too. Now we watch wickerman if it is on netflix. Hope so.

Update: no Wicker man :(. update: wicker man :).

Wedding hung!

Over one shoulder, becoming second skin, or hair. Treat it like it’s real hair attached to your head and it becomes more believable. And will be less awkward to dance in.

Just passin’ through officer. Yes this is my real hair.

They call me Raspberry cotton candy Raymi. Well, they do now.

Dress up is pretty fun, transforms your personality and tells a story I look like I could be up to so many things.

Good wig choice.

Ooh nice calf muscle.

That was my grandmother’s scarf. Kerchief. I’ll wear it to the castle wedding with this dress today, perfect. Still need a shawl/throw or I will freeze.

You can’t see anything. Burn.

Oh but of course right. Nudism is on a whole new level now with a wig.

Oh hey guys.

Yesterday afternoon after website meeting. It’s happening. Slowly, eventually, happening.

Teacher had my bank card (dummy!) so I was forced to walk home in the cold wind and could not do my chores/errands because he was getting a suit, so I walked home with the wind in my face trying to get a mitten on for blocks it was hell, frozen hell, but the sunshine made it tolerable no matter how thawed and frostbit my nose was when I got home. I rocked out to the ipod and it got me jacked for summer. And for partying.

Thanks again Lindsay! Now I want an iphone. This thing mocks me.

Bryan said he sucks at taking pics. I believe you.

Yep yep looking regal, espesh with them pants down around your legs. This is how I shop, the luxury of skinny. I grab one item, no pile, change as fast as cray and then get the heck out of there. I tried on one other dress but the medium was too big and they were out of smalls. Too bad, it was very sparkly, slick and nude. Nude is my thing. Always. If it is beige, I want it.

Back again so soon?

It was freezing and now we can see how Stella got her look, it’s around my neck. I should have worn it all g20 bandit style cos of that wind to protect my massive nose.

I look like Fantastic Mr. Fox. I wish.

There’s a smile. World officially turned on now.

That choker is vintage and heavy. Bought it in Kensington market.

What do we call this pose? The oh hi guys it’s a photograph.

One of my new poses. I have to get the distance between my legs less vast to make it look a little more casual.

I shoved the garbage can in to the last stall as I always do, bad placement assuming there are other mirror snapping bitches out there once in awhile.

I wore my teeniest bra too, it’s the shirt, it’s very shrunken I think it came from Stephy, who is like, an ant. Hi!!!! Miss you.

Team Jaja.

I’m going to call the salon and ask them how long my roots need to be before I come back for transformational hair day. That braid is coming in handy but I am also in like with my roots now (actually a lot of severe hatred too of course in between showerings it can look a little too Parkdale) but after playing around with this wig, which is just a pink version of platinum, I am wishy washy about going dark. Long and light is a wonderful thing.

After rollder derby going to cray palisades aka Rebecca’s place.

Hi!

ID? Um, I left it in the car.

Have a nice day!

I am sailor moon. I thought he was taking pictures of me and not this dumb video ugh. The bangs are so big they kill me.

We have a wiener!

I told Stella if she was going to be in my photos she had to dress up too. She is still wearing her nice kerchief like a lady and trying to mooch an horderve out of me.

The bangs are going to have to be flattened down or what do you do with wig bangs? Now to nail down a song. It has to be THE PERFECT ONE. Suggestions definitely welcome, leave youtube links or artist/track please. Think, what would Junko Mizuno do? Next Friday is just around the corner. Here‘s the FB event again. First we will be at Narhwal THEN the after party burlesque performances will be at the Bovine. Freak crawl! Jajajaja.

I look like these toys I used to have when I was a kid, I can’t remember WTF was that show called they were in outerspace and they glowed in the dark, moon something? urg.

This show! I have asked this before here lol when someone remembers and tells me I’ll drag up that post.

update: moon dreamers. Thanks Bechnique!

Last night’s wicked party!

And sky!

(the alarm KEPT going after this video, for forever!)

A lot of shit went wrong. As evidenced by the second half of this clip, the fire alarm went off just as we were finishing our mains (we bounced before dessert we were so turned off by the everything) and my shrimp diane was not spicy at all the guy so did not remember to put that recommendation in. Sometimes my friendly banter is too disarming, they have no idea that I am a food critic (life critic) and they do it wrong, even when I say the last time we were here (diff location) they messed up his steak and gave a voucher blabbity blah aka WE ARE COMPLAINERS. New custies sat down beside us and got three appetizers before we got our caesar salads, which were disgusting by the way. Globs of garlic/anchovy paste not mixed in and he said yes they were supposed to be like that and he said they didn’t have bacon as in, why the hell should there be bacon on this (uh I have pics of other caesar salads with a huge piece of pancetta on it dillhole don’t LIE to me). To take our order period we waited longer than necessary. If this was Hell’s Kitchen, chef Ramsay would throw you through the window on to Dundas Square. I didn’t bother to ask for spice again or for anything, fully defeated by the service and of course we turned on one another as is our specialty and fought. Date night was HORRIBLE! Other Milestone’s locations are not like this experience ever, it is fully the neighbourhood, ok no, half neighbourhood and half employees. Traveling across town my first night out after being sick inside for days, yes I was looking forward to this. I am a simpleton! This is all I have! Eating and talking about stupid shit, going home watching tv and passing out. We go to a place like this because they delight in acquiescing to the average whiny needy suburban baby, ie. me. I know this, so I go there. I go ironically and I do feel bad about myself for handing over my money to the big corporations because that’s one less for the little guy but whatever WHEN I go I expect Buckingham Palace service, yeah I can lighten up and cut slack and I do trust me but that ONE tiny step over the line too far based on the extra slack I cut you, if you fuck that up, that’s the final straw like your dad driving to the cottage giving the FINAL CHANCE tone of voice when you and Shawn are pinching and kicking each other in the backseat jajaja.

Ok Where was I. So the salad, which we were so fungry we just started annihilating despite everything about it being wrong, it was over-dressed too. I think of Corey Mintz in these instances all the time and it gives me the confidence to continue continuing. But we said nothing and did nothing. Only went there because I had a gift card at Forever 21 to burn which is across the street. It’s very Canadian of me to take the blame for this restaurant’s mistake, say nothing and then write in detail about it. One could call me a coward but no, I have had so many restaurant show-downs before for my lifetime it’s alright. Nothing will happen after this post goes up, if we complained there we’d get another phony quality control disgruntled manager over with a voucher for a later date that we could and would never use, yeah something would be comped. We just wanted to leave so we could grieve. I got so steamed because of our past SJ’s experience, they asked me to make a formal complaint about that incident, I did and no follow-up. I guess they took it as a wash (dodgeball term) because she was cuckoo-kajoo.

There needs to be restaurants for people like me. People who eat once a day, arrive and haven’t spoken a word all day long, the music better not be too loud or offensive, all tables should be facing the room equally so you can have a proper people watching vantage point while pretending to listen to your date. Which reminds me about the table they reserved for us “by the window” more like “by the cadillac fairview inner workings of industrial billboard sign gears and grey painted metal” what the f is this?? I looked at our hostess and said NO. Then I collapsed on to her a little because I was starving. Not fully but, those pointy boots are tricky ones.

I look especially bitchy here.

I mean I could have posted the photos and said nothing but then you wouldn’t have something to read over your lunch. Mmm lunch what did you eat today? I have to go shower. Now!

The view was worth it.

I think Syrah (or any red) has the same effect on us as whiskey, on me at least it does or maybe cos it was my first booze in a few days. I had gin blossoms.

I think I just need to get a little gold badge that says DIVA on it.

Yackity yack don’t talk back! BYE!

I never read blogs and after checking out raymitheminx now I check it every few days. Something about raymi is so fucking interesting and I don’t know why. It’s nice to see someone who is kinda crazy, drop dead gorgeous, talented and smart, instead of some stupid pretentious bitch just blogging photos of their $7000 prada handbags everyday. I guess pretentious people would like blogs like that..but most awesome people would prefer real raw material from a girl who isn’t fake. And I think that’s

Then Nicoteenslut ran out of youtube characters. She also thinks I am an amazeballs dancer, I think this calls for a reserved seat at the imaginary head table of Little Raymis on Penis Lane, right? But what do you think the end of her comment could have been? “And I think that’s…?” Super profound! But speaking of vom of the day that will be a highlight feature of my new blog layout which in a couple hours I’ll be heading over to the boys’ office and going over final blog edits and important navigational designer/other stuff/I don’t know what I’ll be eating potato chips and picking my ear inside out.

yesjessicapodcast avec moi.

Raymi the Eurotrash is ready to rock. Boy my roots are getting long.

It was an interesting night that’s for sure. We ventured here cos I needed to buy a dress from f21. Holy so cheap there!

Got those too. With money leftover huzzah!

After being a sick recluse for three days going to this neighbourhood is a stupid idea.

I met a creeps buddy too outside of f21 when I was vamping. I’ll show you my dress tomorrow. To be continued! Gotta run it’s survivor catch up time.

I look like a band slut. Jules is in laladancecarebearland.

Princess Leia joined us this evening.

Busted. Photographers always give themselves away. These pics are by Chris Luckhardt thank you for capturing us :).

Kraftwerk voice, “we wur dringking fancy spaw wahter all night long.” That’s right Deeter.

Looks like Dance running club will be starting sooner this season than we originally thought.

Look I am waving to someone on my Toilet Time Talk Show.

Here you can barely see what is going on but if you highten the brightness on your monitors if you aren’t too busy then it should be fine. Here is another instance in where Jules and I had to bully some knowledge on to Bech about flash photography and beams. The flash was sucked up by the object you aimed it at, I saw it, I saw you girl, I saw that red fuckin beam aimed at the wall stupid.

See there you go dumb dumb pants. 3 people favorited this on flickr. jajaja. It’s late but not late-late but getting there we were on our eighth wind and the cray girls kept cackling how happy they were that we bounced early and going over the night’s battle stories, the good, the bad and the fugly, and the desperate, and the s-talk and the trainwrecks. What man, these people talk mad shit about me it was nice to see them in true form. Also it was a pretty good party time excellent I must say and everyone was amazed that the kid came with me, Jules of course. I was expecting and paranoid that when we became friends all this dramz would occur, friend-stealing (which we are ALL way too old for) and raymi-bashing and I was right. It’s disconcerting to be proven right and attacked and taken from, people do not want me to have ANYTHING. Here is a classic one, you should distance yourself from raymi she is bad for your image lol meanwhile copy everything she does. jajaja.

Omg look how stressed out I am, I was. We were late after my roller derby love a heart date, he locked the steering wheel and we were calm as cucumbers and it was a blistery cold wind far far from the city, I was already feeling tired from the night before‘s “work” and unbeknownst to me, coming down with something to boot.

Yeah guy, props to the props.

Hi potatoes.

I did not even want to drink anymore but I did, but only for you and only because it was the craziest candle-lit booze bottle vigil ever and well, when in Rome. Dude checking me out we partied with the night before and I guess he still had a boner to pick with me jajajaja. Jules and I had a girl night solo mish and the difference between a 20 year old and a 28 year old doing a three day Belushi affair is like night & day, or, night & cray in this case. I almost don’t want to drink anymore and haven’t since. Another thing is, dudes cannot accept hanging out with girls period if there is no horseplay in the for-seeable future in store for them and it was very FUCKING RUDE and annoying for them to continuously not take no for an answer, I was forced to sexually harass them back I almost actually fought the guy staring a hole in my head and his buddy, my new buddy and colleague of sorts was like guy, she’s going to write about this. We are totally cool now and I am too nice for my own good but i still gotta write about this dude. Anyway, I think we were on our high horse a bit for being chastity of Boners (Chastity Bono anyone? Please say some smart people are reading thanks) but still, I need my girls right now and my chickdependence and chicksand (thanks Serge for that) and the next person who fucks with it, will suffer.

I like adorablah Harry Potter a lot he is a ladies man for sure and was swing dancing away and I had to ask him if he was on (he wasn’t) mdma because he was so cuddly and fit in my koala bear papoose and during our lets bounce yay cray huddle he got in on it and Rebecca stared him down like a witch ahahahahhaha I am never going to get through this post if I keep recounting everything like this holy crapola. Also, by the cray, we were requested a yay cray stance pose demonstration for our fanboys. Maybe if we are lucky and recruit enough guys we can totally recreate the wickerman in bellwoods. What’s the first rule of yay cray, never delay a yay cray.

A blank page can be like porn to an artist, writer, poet, you get it.

One of my current endearingisms.

I messed up the A. So I was a stupid.

Guh-rind a dutty dutty one sha-ba! (I’m sorry the sunshine is getting to me).

I felt the party host should be addressed but also felt unsure of that they would take it literally and now they hate me some guy the next day cleaning up all that mess flipping through the party notes, oh no. Whatever, sell it on ebay or learn from it. See that drink there, Fucking Rebecca flipped the page open without looking at the drink and it sloshed all over me, just right after a girl had already done that to me in the kitchen I was starting to get suspicious that this was happening on purpose.

Thank yew once again for making me look good. Aaand I just lost all ability to do anything in my own flickr account so we will be right back as they say in show business. OMG it works I tweet-blasted-gun-jumped. Oh well. Hi y’all. I guess this is alson a live blog post, it’s a glorious day today, I am better than ever bright eyed and bushy tailed and it’s date night!

I made her face too fat.

Sad.

I even added that weird dot on your head.

Ahh look out!

Yay Cray protege draws the family.

You look like my niece. The teeniest part 1 to this post btw.

I look like I just exercised and some of my make up is trying to leave my face. Dancing in knit tights with a fireplace on in a packed room will do that to ya plus being sick. Excuuuuuuuuses!

She does that so much it’s permanent I think. Whattagwan Lauren O! Let me at those other pics of us on yer phone rude gal.

Bech threw a finger blaster on the flash I am sure. Where was I at the time? Moon walking or shuffling or grinding or oh right, the balloons. I almost did the splits on the dancefloor because of a fucking balloon and a spilled drink, very dangerous floors. We had several dance groupies and even some top notch qual-itay ladies complimenting my moves. Stuff dreams are made of.

Not only am I meticulous in my HERE IS EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME EVER accounts, but these brosephs re-tell me the same garbage over and over and over again too, it’s funny and like come on shut up already! This is probably the burlesque dancer they met when I was MIA and I gather this from a photograph only.

So they do the recruiting for me. Hurray yay cray.

Dave Grohl was there!

Kerry please explain your shirt slogan and why? Also who was the owner of your spy dslr camera and where can I get those shots?

Party vortex!

Baha look at Jules. I will pretend you’re dancing to Bangles, I bet you weren’t even alive when walk like an egyptian came out. I just read some of the song lyrics, here is our newest slogan: LIFE’S HARD YOU KNOW, OH WAY OH. SO STRIKE A POSE ON A CADILLAC. jajajjajaja!

There’s the money honey.

Okay relax spice girls.

Spot the Raymbo.

Casie your whole outfit is working, I likey. And thank you for telling me I looked hot a billion times (I rounded up) have a great time in Austin and don’t think we won’t be spying, don’t forget to check the roof before driving off #wakestock.

When you contort your neck it’s pretty party trickery and old lady party too.

Post party protocol is to launch yourself backward superman style in to one’s bed and make Jules snort laugh WITH BRACES omfg adorablah. There’s more pics I am going to add from motionblur once I finish ours.

See how I will be smiling when I am dead j/k guys death boo scary bad wrong hiss!

Take it off potatoes!

Spying on the party from afar and can’t believe one thing we saw.

Somehow we were able to all fit squished in that bed. Poor Jules in the middle, always the little sister baby bear.

Stop looking like a teenage runaway Jules jajaja are you in pain or pleasure? My friend emailed me this one and said simply, sigh. I loaded it up thinking oh jeez what disgusting thing have I done now and voila, this. That is a lesson in doing it right I suppose and a hallmark reminder of why I ever began blogging, sidenote that is, smut peddlin’ to men the majority of my audience I thought but now it’s mean girls. Do you think any man would comment here to be mean? We are just girls having fun and being stupid and telling jokes.

Jules tweeted 3 girls 1 bed and I was like they are going to think we are blasting for sure.

I thought the bed would collapse for sure and that I wouldn’t get any sleep at all. We stayed up VERY late. It was to be my last gong show (not really!) well I knew I would need a week time out at least but, we did fall asleep and Jules’ gentle mouth breathing lulled me right on to jajajajaland. My phone died and I had slight anxiety about being in trubs with the boss (teacher) but I emailed him a late email which he got (but I didn’t know that!) and I said where I was blabbity blah being in a relationship and separate partying can be stressful. Trust is a vital component.

HAhaha I call this one WHEN BECHNIQUE GOT HER CRAY BACK.

Okay can we go dance now? OMG ahhaha Bech your face! LOL.

Bleeehehehehehee.

I’m only going to eat those if you have himalayan salt. ONLY.

Starving. Can’t wait that long.

Horseteef!

UM-anuma-numa-numa-num. Num nums. num. ha. Hahaah.

She picked up the liefuski whatever potato vodka bottle and said I AM GLAD WE ALMOST FINISHED THIS BOTTLE! And I wanted to vom down myself. To me, that bottle represented the last 3 nights of #31waystodie and I squeaked out a no mo-ar, peas I’m too old for this shit.

Guy I always Himalayan salt mortar and pestlin’. She made us potatoes and egg, so euro.

Then they made us go outside I don’t know why I was sick and it was scary windy cold and Rebecca had to lecture me about how she could match my BK tweets with Mcdonald’s tweets and I was like yeah M-F-er GO AHEAD!

She only looks so stressed out because of her haircut I swear there isn’t a secret ball and chain attached to her little ankle, it’s all about choice in life my amigos. Brb with a few more pho-tos. MMmmm pho. Pho sho.