Had a blast. I’ll fill you all in on all the juicy cray on the road antics tomorrow. Plus, this.
Neaters!
Already miss the girls. Kay ta ta. I got a snorgle couch date. My mom has all the best photos anyway so I’ll just (TRY TO) wait until tomorrow. The spa was very nice and so was the pool. The everything. There were lots of foibles though (those are the best/worst parts haha).
ps. this blog will look prettier this very week, no more cluttery jumbled confusion.
I feel a bit bummed for not going out. We’re not even drinking (not necessary still tanked from yesterday!)
Teacher bought me these last year and I never wore them cos they made me feel fat wtf right haha. Now they fit like a lucky charm.
So I’ll be watching SNL in this tonight. A friendemy tagged a photo of my ass as Hazel Mcallion today. Nice try you old eye bagged asshole, all your girlfriends are YOUR age too by the way, which is over a decade older than me so you insult all of them too in the process and ps I have the ass of a sixteen year old. Still! Bye!
Me last year.
Aww. Sorry I got lost and reminiscent there for a sec. Did anyone else cry at the end of Jersey Shore? I might have bawled and or sobbed, I forget can’t remember haha see ya.
Happy St. Pat’s. I’m sitting this one out I am sure my mom will be happy and Lois so I won’t be a mess tomorrow for Niagara coug crawl adventure, we are starting early and hitting the spa. Birthday month! No one brought a camera out last night. NO ONE! STUPID PEOPLE! BYE see you on the couch!
It’s age restricted (thanks chump!) so you must login to verify your age until I put it on vimeo. Slept all day. My St. Pat’s outfit today is jogging pants and a robe, sexy! Super duper fun night last night, thanks underground peep show and Narwhal and Junko Mizuno and all my friends I love you guys! Send me all your pics :).
Wrestling with bloggy desires and juggling other shit I know just to bite the bullet and blog, it doesn’t feel right not to especially when I’m just drinking diet redbull and picking my belly button anyway, biding my time til Carrie comes over to paint me. She has to come by earlier leaving a margin of time for the paint to dry but I am so antsy and restless I pushed it back to half past 4, I think 3 hours is enough for paint to dry. We shall see so in the mean time I give you this post.
Meet my new friends. Orange guy teacher got for me as a surprise. Surprise I’m getting smokes! I lusted after them over the weekend after brunch with Bechnique. Do I look too cray? Except the outfit I was wearing was not as formal, it was more like hangover skid lurching out from behind the sunglasses spindle with my bangs sticking up stupidly. I put them back and thought about it. Said I would. They totally go with my blond hair but who knows the future of that and I can only imagine myself with black hair like a sucky pants defeatist and I know that orange and black equals halloween. Holy crap shut up downerface! Just enjoy your sunglasses jeez why don’t you.
I want to start wearing glasses so I can hide my face, seriously, people who wear glasses are cheating or they get an advantage with a lens (even if it is clear it still helps) hiding some of the seasoning on their faces. Notice how I said people and not just women? Dudes you be agin’ too guy.
As long as I can stay forever young in the face and in the head everything will run smoothly. I am pretty close to sleeping in a garbage bag lined with body lotion and other weird shit Madonna allegedly detoxes in every night wrapped in bandages and seaweed, compost, whatever. Can you tell birthday month is scrambling my brains?
Ha can you imagine me walking in to your local hipster diner and sitting down to order? I should have a hidden camera reality show where I do stunts like that, it will save me the effort of having to talk to people or come up with any sort of script and then one segment will be me and my mom and let the magic just write itself in all our cray shenans with Lois and then the show ends with me knocking on Bechnique’s door and then me her and Jules do a Yay Cray salute and burn something, burn a man on the dance floor I dunno but it better happen soon before “I am too old for this shit” takes over my self esteem permanently.
I wore that to be stretched out in yesterday, Kash was wearing basically the same thing so the pictures should come out nicely, all arms and legs in a 2 girls 1 pretzel of black spandex jajaja.
I drew a blank all day long on what goddamn song to choose and it wasn’t until last night could I select one, I am keeping it a surprise but I’ll give you a hint I’ve danced to it before and made a video of it within the last 2 months. There‘s my youtube channel if you’re bored take a guess.
I look like Easter in this. I like Easter so I am fine with that. Jesus rises from the dead, I get chocolate, it’s spring, everybody wins.
These pictures make me want to bust ass some more and get some more rehearsing in obvi. so I’ma wrap it up now.
I have to sew one of my gloves and perfect this wig, and my face, and try not to sweat all over myself too much in the process. Wish me luck.
NARWHAL GALLERY RECEPTION STARTS AT 7 AND GOES TIL 10.
ART/BURLESQUE: Japanese pop culture artist Junko Mizuno‘s second exhibition in Canada, Venus Cake: Junko Mizuno’s Food Obsession, opens this evening at Narwhal Projects, with the artist in attendance (Narwhal Art Projects, 680 Queen Street West, 7 p.m.–10 p.m., FREE). After the reception, the party will move down the street for a rock ‘n’ roll and burlesque afterparty, performed by Underground Peepshow and hosted by celebrity blogger Raymi the Minx. Bovine Sex Club (542 Queen Street West), 10 p.m., $10/$5 with costume or Junko Mizuno button.
I had a nice stretch this morning with Kash, very relaxing. You’ll see that tomorrow, lots of up close and personal pictures with my stupid raymi reparte inter-spliced, it got me nice and limber for dancing the night away and rehearsing today.
I looked down at my outfit today in the market and was like, do I need to grow up? (NOOOO! I screamed in my head)(and you should be screaming that too Little Raymis) If I have to grow up that is like PeeWee Herman dying. So as long as I can do my best to hide the old I feel like I can dress as dopey as I like.
Or like, if I am such a trainwreck then what would Courtney Love do? Alright do less than that and we are good.
These have a very slight magnification to them which is problematic because well, headaches and even plain glass alone can make you squint a little. I went to bed frowning the other night it seems and I had a line in my forehead all day yesterday I wanted to die.
Well I’ve settled on my song, my body painter comes over tomorrow and we get this show a rolling. Come get primed with us at Narwhal, lots of crazy costumes and fanfare mingling and boozing then we head over to the Bovine for the burlesque show and see all the paintings you just saw at the gallery space come to life in striptease. I am the third performance. If you are hungry I can spray whip cream in your mouth if you stand up front.
I should go get a tan today. Can I wear this bikini? I still need a gauzy thing for over it and something yellow for the hair. And gloves. And whip cream. I don’t have to replicate it exact but, it helps me with the dance more when I have it all on and together so this evening will be all about doing that. I am pumped for tomorrow, I’ll be hanging out at Narwhal first in costume so come to the art show too if you want (duh come!) and get drunk with me so that I can get in to whip cream girl head space mode and come to life on stage. I will probably do ridic things with whip cream “in character” and I am going on second or fourth at the after party burlesque performance over at The Bovine. Fun night indeedly!
Blythe sure whores herself around.
I dreamt about myself in this dress all night long.
Nope not hair bumpits just hair crown breakage magic, I gather it and pin it at the back.
Power lunch. I’ve got an important meeting with some chicken wings. We also shared a burger.
It’s so nice up there. We need to eat out less and cook more plus it’s bbq season, no more delivery either.
There’s a phony smile! Well it’s better than the other one I’m not posting, I mean I look good but a little too Robocop. Luckily my shoulder pads were able to fit through the door.
