and now

Here is my florence solo my aunt captured. it’s nice to see it without having to cock my head to the extreme side. thanks again kristin!

cosmic love from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

I can’t even watch it anymore though i can’t stop analyzing my fuck-ups and sloppy moments. meh. all i know for sure is i am topping this. Last night i practised two new dances. solos. toss-up between two songs, one being this:

This video has been viewed 63,558 times. my dance will be way better than this one (i’m 24 here)(and was a different much more shy person then) IF i go with this song. i tried doing l’il kim’s how many licks. way too vulgar. way. but i know all the words. that’s a show for another day, or life. i’ll be keeping my other solo song potential a secret for now. we were supposed to go on my uncle’s yacht today but apparently the NE winds are puketastically strong which sounds like bullshit, i don’t hear or see much wind right now. so looks like there’ll be time for brunchtime with degenerates today at some point. nice. i have to start packing up the tickle trunk and be out of there by next weekend so i conveniently booked a mini holiday between now and then so i wouldn’t have to do that BUT consider this RAYMI’S TICKLE JUNK SALE head’s up the day of moving i will be leaving (nice) piles of my worldly goods in the yard so if you’re keen on knowing where to go to nab your little raymi collector’s items just ask. that’ll be next saturday AUGUST 30 and i will probably be speaking in tongues by then.

this is what i look like when i hear about your shitty catty behaviour and luckily i’m so pretty i can allow my mom to post photos like this of me on the internet, cripes.

look i made my own juice and was insane for the rest of the day for it.

oh yeah i just remembered all the comedy practise i did last night and teacher was a super big help. i am preparing a set. comedy topics so far: hot girl problems, my mom/family, me/blog, frenemies. bucket listing life in full-effect. brb buddies. STRUNG OUT SUNDAY IS HERE.

more sears catalogue

that’s weird but i was in a MUST SHOW THEM EXTREME TO THE MAX MUSCLES AND CONTROL whimsical mode.

and then i almost fell over trying to do a back arch. i cannot do a back arch. i always try.

nice dress though right. could be a shirt. this girl is all legs so that won’t be happening. some bitch tried to rip on my mom for daring to post photos of her gams “at her age” well fuck you lady, when you have great genes you show them off until you die. how oppressive. that’s just a desperate last ditch effort to paint another girl as pathetic because she is brazen and proud, just cos you can’t or don’t do it doesn’t give you the right to be such an asshole. i know hate is coming my way a week ahead of it coming because i KNOW the certain cuckoo circle of fan hater girls who are OBSESSED with me. it’s gross. like i should dress like a mennonite cos a fucked up chick can’t handle my sexiness? bitch you’re the one reading MY blog here why do you come back for more if you couldn’t handle it years ago? ps. sorry that even my mother is hotter than you. pps. not sorry. i have rageahol right now. comes and goes. being a blogger is like being a painter. i can say any stupid shit here and you are like whatever dude keep it coming i don’t care WHAT colour as long as you paint.

i can’t quite do a full arch but i think eventually i will be able to. why or what for? i dunno. i want to be like the nightfox french guy from ocean’s 12. just lean right over into a tai chi balance hover twist on a dime. if you’re able to do that it means your have a legit 8 pack. working out is addictive and after 30 you should keep at it in order to stay young. you’re doing your bones good.

not a bad perfect little black dress right? so slinky and breathable.

she actually loves/loved this. she put her head into my neck and drooled! while purring! she’s like a little statue fawn and has learned to enjoy being cuddled this way to avoid clawing and sticking to me. they called her the terrorist before i arrived but toward me, nothing but pure adoration. she really loves me. sorry but it’s true. not sorry. people who write about their pets are boring and insane BUT when the cat is already old and set in its psychotic ways and i can charm the hell out of it under 4 months and not even know it’s fucking name (STILL!)(she has 300) that is a blog bragging and a half.

she is nuzzling me here. so funny and adorable.

this dress is meant to be a skirt too but it’s a bit loose on me so i hiked it up. major short. i may belt it and wear it out somewhere, i just don’t know where to. jarvis street? lolz.

he was asking for broken doll. someone learned a lot from their days watching ANTM. before that all my poses sucked.

so it’s a bit of a posey dress cos it’s not meant to be worn this way. funny when you get a dress hand me down, any woman will MAKE it work or fit but if in a store you’d be like, not bothering. you buy the ultimate thing you want, the ultimate purchase. a must! i gave lois a dress too (from urban behaviour) and she wore it all day. yay!

my hair was kind of insane and ratty. the toronto heat is ruining my game. this dress is by guess and uber slutty. bit out of my comfort zone and i’ll have to be zero per cent bloated.

broken doll? i’ll give you broken doll.

there’s a lot going on here too (the dress flare)(flair?). notice how i changed my hair and accoutrements for each dress change? aren’t i so nice to you?

i’m sucking it in so hard here. after this little fun photoshoot i was WIPED. this looking good stuff is work you know, the photos the outfits the everything. what should i go back to being a potato and take pictures of storefronts i can’t afford? COOL BLOG!

i have three or four different haircuts going on. i am very progressive like that.

where could i wear this?

i’m holding it up a bit, it gets a lot longer and in a neat way too kind of shell shaped? i don’t know how to describe it and you don’t have to pretend to care either.

there is one more dress that we forgot to model. it’s blue and glitzy and perfect for a wedding. SNL is on in 15 mins hope it’s a good repeat. major hangover day. went to visit teacher’s folks and a hot tub soak. sorted me out. poor winehouse. plus that crazy norway thing whaaat? the summer is bringing out the cray cray.

my dad is probably bummed right now about amy winehouse. i left him a voicemail but they were playing a gig. he is the one who started calling me raymi winehouse.

i watched her last performance and it was really hard to take. yeah whatever she turned into a junky, she was lost to it and it’s sad and selfish when that happens. some people think they’re invincible from these reckless things because they cheat death for a long time (aka ryan dunn, jackass) but you know who wins in the end always? death. that shit is risky and when you get so far deep into it, we know the inevitable especially when you have unlimited money for your fix. we glorify drugs through rock and rock enables the usage and somehow justifies it. is it the dumb ones really who stay hooked? kind of but no, when you are pissing away a god given talent you are an idiot. when the drugs are doing you, in, you would hope the poor soul would look around their den and go oh my, this has gone a bit sideways time to shape up. we don’t know a person’s sadness ever really, and the crazy things fame does to a person. history repeats itself and no one gives a fuck. tmz pops a boner and makes a little more money this weekend. what did we learn from this? when the autopsy results come back telling us what we already suspect, what then? why should we even care there are many countless tragedies daily. are we all opportunists repeating the same passive aggressive grief? years ago i became engaged in a very awkward bar fight defending amy winehouse’s honour, barely a fan, no more or less than you. i am a fan of humanity, think or say whatever you want about me, i know that i care deeply about people and even if it ruins a night i will let you fucking know it when you are a despicable human being i will show you what despicable really truly is if you cross me. the bar fight debate fired me up back in 2008 so much cos i have an injured bird saviour complex. we knew it would go this way but back in 2008 you think she’ll wise up and kick it and get better and over it and reinvent but no, some people you can’t save, are utterly unreachable and stubborn FROM the addiction, which they got in the first place who knows but the fame propagates the shut-in hotel behaviour and i dunno. no need to even dress this up as anything else than what it was. it just sucks and now here is my eulogy. really i am writing about kurt cobain, or all other heroes when one of the “greats” dies. we feel abandoned when fuck, when was the last time i even thought about amy winehouse? she’s out of her misery now. she gave’r a little too hard last night and hopefully her dad can be proud of himself for all he did to try and rescue her from herself and i sincerely hope he doesn’t feel a lick of guilt. who knows maybe she did it purposely? she kind of was for years right? anyway. addiction touches everyone’s life in some shape or form and i don’t think it’s something to be taken lightly, or made fun of, or snarked on in internet forums. what did we learn from this? tons. when a public figure overdoses it illuminates the pink elephant and i say hell fucking yeah. wake up call people.

now i’m off to catch up on the norway thing to really drive this disturbed feeling over the edge.



HEY RAYMI I LOVE YOU! So here are some new ones, the metal ones are made fron spoons forks and molds of barbie faces. The bottom ones are a mix, one soapstone thor amulet (replica of a 1000 ad thor amulet found in britain). A barbie zombie stigmata one. And 3 with images from my digital art covered in resin. They all have just a simple chain but can be put on anything really I have a few more that arent done, more spoony forky metal types haha Not sure if any of these grab ur eye.


fuck those are so cool.

help me pick my piece
barbie zombie stigmata one
one soapstone thor amulet (replica of a 1000 ad thor amulet found in britain)
or one of the 3 digital art covered in resin chicks
Free polls from

mike is having a show on the 30th at atomic lollipop? what the hell is that? this guy is horrible at self-promotion. if i made stupid necklaces like he coudl i’d be fucking rich right now. incredible get it together bro. i think i’m aiming toward one of the fork things, once i get over my hangover i’ll study these pictures more. kay bye.

u are an artist and marketing is a big component to this crap. tweet?

i know, i am a shitty bidniz man
i try and trick my wife and sisters into doing that kind of stuff for me haha!/mykelone is a place in 165 Augusta Avenue kensington market that sells my rings on consignment starting last week i have an etsy store but havent listed anything yet, i like doing shows and stuff in person, old school like. haha.
there will be an atomic pillow fight and a unicorn parade at this
thing, and a bunch of japanese bands
i’m trying to get some godzilla headed necklaces on the go for it



gahahha barbie and her accessory pet friend.

omg this blog is so hot and boring it’s like a fucking sears catalogue of lies. brilliantly.

i should add pinpoint notes to the things on the mantel with witty repartee. candles: ikea. clock: i forget. and so on.

my minion!

loves me.

if i was so evil like they say this dog would not come near me. how people are with animals and small children is very telling. both dig me tons and i sure dig them.

we were trying to co-ordinate and time “gime your paw” and have our photo taken it’s hard to do that and smile at the camera. we tried. stella is smart.

teacher said to go dreamy.

nailed it.

bext you will see me dance in this and the romper to mariah carey. NORMAL!

Raymi Romper Room revival

we’ll start with this one as it was the first new item to come into my tickle trunk. ooh jump the shark, romper room and mr. dressup. poor american readers have no fucking idea what the hell i am talking about half the time or ever.

who cares though right? MEOW!

made a video with this on and my braided link (legends of zelda style represent) belt so i looked like a tree. well more like peter pan elfin. i temporarily looked like a tree yesterday too. i am totally a furry.

i have post work out face. cool! and i was up since 7am. jjjjjjacked! i destroyed my workout today i talked to the entire room non-stop the entire time. it was awesome.

what do they put in hotel buffet coffee? jetfuel.

i look stupid. teacher likes it. it’s kind of junky chic.

hark! i’m getting skinnier!

a small. he picked it out on his own. women who buy smalls are either asian or super ballsy. i was like oh amazing i love it but then saw the size and was grumpy, yeah cool gift thanks i’m fat WICKED! more like wicked wrong.

fat girl syndrome forever. gross right.

it’s just those 70’s cuts are out of this world and highlight bloat and bellys you have to be a rake or weirdly hot like american apparel models are. well guess who has a face like that weird looks-like-she’s-dying in parenthood chick and a high ass waist. britt told me that, the waist part. girl totally thoroughly knows the landscape of my body it’s like she studied it or something. which she did cos she’s wholly more neurotic than i am. god love her and totally miss her.

ok next coming right up.

i guess i’ve subconsciously desired a romper since seeing the dancers at mangos.