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i killed lauren white

every year about this time, i have a nice little identity crisis. hey what’s up with that? lets check in with my mentals shall we then?

blaaaaaaah wah. i noticed it when i was a kid, it’s like, a kind of FOMO (fear of missing out) when summertime rolls around, like i’ve been sleeping all winter and everyone’s out on water slides without me now cos i didn’t get my shit together in time. i’m not exactly feeling that, more so personal life who am i what am i when am i questions. do not watch morning glory if you’re feeling anything like me right now. rachel mcadams plays a 28 year old career-obsessaphobe unraveling by stress and aghhh it was not at all escapist to watch especially with old fogey harrison ford’s debbie downering all over the place, proud has been styles dude shut up, please.

but i have a solution for it, one part of which is to stop whining and start enjoying my life. i have a friend who is 2000% more uptight perfectionist than me and another friend said it’s said they can’t enjoy their life, one of which we consider to be all peas and carrots and perfect and beautiful and ours to be suffering in comparison. everyone wants what others have got, the grass seems greener. once in awhile you have to step over the fence and see for yourself, it’s the only way to change it up even though the outcome could be drastic. i am a fan of change, i see it as positive and people who whine about their predicament and yet do NOTHING about it for years, get out of my way and lose my number. i’m holding it together as much as is possible and i need all the energy available to me to be driven and excel. if i am fat i will work to be thin. if i am broke i will work to make a buck. if i don’t like who i am with i will leave him. if you can’t save yourself then what makes you think i care?

YIKES watch out and duck today. i think the sun and fresh air is making a monster out of me.

work out time. phewf.

9 thoughts on “i killed lauren white

  1. amen.

    as a person who is currently breaking out of a 6 year relationship, moving out on her own and 600 other changes going on at once, your words resonated with me.

    it really gets to me when people complain about their life and do nothing to fix it. INACTION IS AN ACTION. by choosing to do nothing, your still making a choice.

    I 100% know that you ‘get’ this concept. you broke off an engagement for gods sake. that takes BALLS. i commend you. your happiness is the most important thing in life.

    keep it up girl, your building that empire in the sky.

  2. Change and examination of your life is an ever revolving process
    What works, what doesn’t,whats healthy, whats not
    Who makes you feel good, who doesn’t
    Whats important, whats not
    Am I happy, am I having fun
    whats my new purpose

    perfectionist over analyse have problems letting go and enjoying the moments

  3. I have an id crisis at least once per week, getting dressed, totally confused, the mirror tells it wrong too.

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