the past is a finite resource

but oh so much to work with.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5476520723/

ready to go back in time with me?

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the last summer, i call it.

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i was a beautiful bitchy witchy ghost.

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i have drug these up cos i have to submit some photos of myself as a brunette for a movie role.

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i do not want to go back to brunette yet. not until i get to be long and blonde.

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this was an amazing weekend. michael jackson died this day. we heard his tunes blasting at weber’s in line and all the kids were dancing. i love summer time kids their brains are perma-fried into thinking they’re in australia it’s great. anywhooooo.

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i did not feel good enough here. fit enough. ridiculous. tell tale sign of a girl’s insecurity, if she’s wearing a scrunchie or an elastic hair-tie for a bracelet it means she doesn’t feel comfortable in her skin so she flops between ponytail to hair down, ugh. so exhausting i cannot wait to be mellowed out one day.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5476952622/in/photostream/

holy amazing look at me. i was working out here a lot with britt. i had already fucked off to thunder bay because i bought that shirt there.

i wish guu took reservations. i hate waiting in line. it’s an actual deterrent from me going there.

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this photo was after guu, after the spoke club. great night.

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the next day at manic coffee.

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spoke bathrooms are the best to take pictures of yourself in. you’re not supposed to take photos in there in case you catch a philanderer philandering. the bartender is supposed to greet the member as if he didn’t see him the night prior with his mistress. LOVE THAT SHIT! discretion really is a lost dying art and i know that is super rich coming from me. i still have many skeletons i’ve snuffed into submission in my closet, never you mind or worry.

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this is how i seduced the red flag.

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reject photos.

here i am the eve of my burlesque audition at the central. i had to work late and i cried about it cos i was promised to get off early so i could rest up for the audition. i made the cut despite my late night. here is how i looked the next day for my audition.

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super tired. skinnay.

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kamila gave me that unitard. i love the word unitard. guess why.

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i made sure to pull out all the balletesque stops i could to ensure a successful audition. that bra is now covered in sequins and jewels. i need to go on a bra hunt.

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cute chels. never got around to posting these cos i got busy. we look hot.

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this chick likes girls more than boys. she’s twenty. i was the elder at this bar. so coyote ugly of me. it was a good transition back in to the city which went hardcore real quick. definitely seasoned my face a bit, the underweight is also to blame. you can get your young face back you know. i know i can and will.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5476437607/in/photostream/

and she’s a drama girl, actress, dancer, hard working kid.

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emma wore this during rehearsal and i never saw it again. my belly wide hip shape is not conducive to this cut of dress, i feel.

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these speak for themselves woah look out for the next one.

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not bad.

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cannot wait for long hair again.

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an innocent bystander told me i personified these things.

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clem was never even able to open up my bullshit resume. my winning email is how i got hired. i sent a photo of myself standing behind the bar at the central the night of my art show there and said here i am looking good behind your bar, i am now 40% HOTTER than this photo and then i said a bunch of baloney about social media and being a key player and how i just beat out margaret atwood AND the mayor for toronto’s top tweeter of 2010 nice. brosz7 gave me a head’s up that clem was a bit of a scoundrel so then i knew what to do to get hired. everything fell in to place, that job and my room at adventurehouse. new life lets do it!

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haha yeah keep eating that bar food, idiot.