The Kerowhacks take BOOM

i’m such a priss i use baby wipes for my no no place.

tony says he gets goosebumps when he reads my blog.

can you see the raymi?

wearing that kerchief was a dumb idea. made my head all fat. meh.

what is this shit, a sitcom? yeah, pretty much. ok i think i am retiring “pretty much”. say good bye.

mom you so obviously do not cook anymore, this is how you tie an apron?

A for effort.

posh takes over.

trying to get through to my mom is like trying to talk to a brick wall sometimes. she has severe ADD.

firecracker gloria punctures the coug biosphere, a most welcome addition. she cut me off like crazy to talk about all her crazy things it was funny. the most unattractive facial expressions i have on are when i’m chewing and trying to pull faces at her blabbering. backfire. you win this round gloria.

taking orders. my server helper could not read my chicken scratch. maybe if she’s nicer to me next time i’ll write more legibly.

there’s a tv up there so if you’re bored out of your mind next time at my boom party then you can look at it in-between being cougar prey and made fun of.

gloria had her own purse hook. of course she did.

that hot hunchback over there would be your darling hero.

what am i making? who knows.

goin’ zen.

i belong in a parisian patisserie, non? i would also like to highlight how much of a team player i am.

i said to muffy whilst motioning at a customer in a banquette booth, i slept with that guy and then steven (cameraman) busted up laughing, caught it over the mic. we pretended not to recognize one another. he was with a younger girl, also, he is bat shit crazy.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5395352037/in/photostream/

all day all night long every time someone learned she was my mom they were delighted and melted. i used mom as a shield to make colombia be nicer to me. you can’t be mean to a kid in front of the mother bear. my mom would throw down for sure.

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kerouac turkey neck bluhh if i ever make enough money i’m getting us all gizzard neck plastic surgery.

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come on girls lets get this party in gear.

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this was a very fun day. some days you aren’t sure about, you may take for granted how severely fun they are, then one by one everyone trickles in their feedback. overwhelming consensus is once a month coug crawl. next time there will be an army of us and it will hopefully be warmer.

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maybe even gloria.

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i’ve never enjoyed being a girl’s girl more, well, i’ve earned it. having a waterfall of women is no easy thing to maintain.

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talkin’ about my arm fat. it consumes me.

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i seriously thought she was going to join us on our man hunt.

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there’s billions of back and forth chatter on my mom’s facebook regarding all these photos and the night out i wouldn’t even know where to begin selecting what to post here. the guys we met later on said it was hands down the most fun night they’ve had in toronto in the entire year being here for work.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5395360399/in/photostream/

i need to do brunch more often.

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i do not like being upstaged.

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what’s that now? oh right we had a discussion about racism. thrilling.

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barb and i look similar. too bad holly didn’t come out (her daughter) she and i machine gun motor mouth talk at the same speed.

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listen to me. i am right always.

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twins!

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i wonder where she lives. will she invite me to tea?

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payce bredren!

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then i bussed everything and gave my server all the tips and didn’t pocket any.

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gross are those mom arms?

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here i’m making sylvia give me money.

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i could go for a hamburger right now. so pre-menstrual.

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the thumper comes out time to go.

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why does my mom get to have a tinier head than me? is it because your head shrinks as you age? her face is bigger and wider than mine, hers is square-shaped mine is heart-shaped. yes it is a competition. she is 5’7 i am 5’8.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5395373867/in/photostream/

here i look like a little ant who won’t shut up or go away aren’t i cute?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/5395971030/in/photostream/

ok bye now.

do not forget to inform your cashier at any three BOOM LOCATIONS about the RAYMI D(iscount) List. lemme cover your tax. also you can follow BOOM and tweet about your brunch and they will tweet right back atcha if you were requiring attention for some reason or other (hey, we all do).

locations: 808 College street, 1036 st clair ave west, and 174 eglinton avenue west (egglington, hahah). you can click on each address to see a post featuring me at each one. fungry.