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my first personal training session was really fun. i thought it would have been longer and was intimidated by that possibility but nope, james is a fitness guru and condensed it.

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i look like some advertisement for budweiser. the hat fully sets it off. it’s JD. i have a ton of them from wakestock. if you visit adventurehouse you leave with one.

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side squats are fun, you start off all braggarty cocky then you turn into james’ nonna lumbering like a pathetic wimp. i am severely competitive so every exercise i did and came back to no matter how hard it was to tackle again i pushed myself. i am competing with my colleague who is also being abused by TMR (by joseph) and after every move i ask if i am doing better than him. I AM.

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they’re similar to a dance move from jazz, lindys?

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they kick your ass.

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all that eating and boozing…

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gotta work it off somehow. i’m old? ugly? fine then. lets see you do something about your looks.

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i look like a grasshopper.

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i’m actually rocking quite the hangover here, more so lack of sleep. james ripped me for putting on make up. uhh dude, do you want me to look like gargamel from the smurfs in these fitness pictures i didn’t know you wanted a seahag for a spokesmodel hahaha.

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i am the johnny knoxville of exercise.

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mirrors are very important to working out, checking on your form and your cute faces.

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ugh my favourite part.

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so hard. i also have a carpal tunnel sore spot on my left wrist (all for you blog) so it hurts to do push ups. james let me do some girl ones. at this point in my head i thought he might let me not do any but nope, forced me. all you need in life is a push.

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i said push and i’m talking about push ups. i’m like, real smart.

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james was trying to get me in the zone but then he referred to himself as splash pants and i lost it. oh that was later on maybe during the plank.

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my hair is a constantly changing flock of seagulls mess.

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i’m going to get another tattoo on my arm. either raymi, raymitheminx, or minx. which one?

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pictures from my body analysis made me realise i need to work on my posture a lot more and be camera ready at all times ALL TIMES.

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impressive much?

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i’m glad there isn’t a video of this. hmm maybe there is i’ll have to check.

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you haven’t lived until you’ve done astroturf push ups. i sweated all over that shit.

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do you think personal trainers are secret masochists?

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oh jesus.

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no pain no gain for the insane.

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i’m super flexible.

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and secretly stacked. all smoke n mirrors baby.

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how many pounds are those i didn’t ask. that’s a 2 or a 5 i see.

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i summon THE POWER OF GRAYSKUUUUUULLLLLL!

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i don’t lose.

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five pounds phew now i’m way less embarrassed. haters come and get it i will put you through a wall.

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this part is scary. then fun. then scary again. we had a minor issue in counting 12 1 1 2. two seconds resistance hold for one second then two seconds extending.

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check your form. i’m so pasty. time to hit luxe in lib vill.

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joseph comes over to join in the reindeer games.

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by now i am mangled, my legs are totally heavy so the side squats are no longer fun at all other than james calling me a grandma. f&#&*&^! i’ll show you. abuse is a motivator.

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i did look pretty inelegant to be fair.

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had to rest against the wall i almost fell over. so weak.

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oh hi didn’t see you come in.

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give me that %#&%^ water now!

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the plank. it’s hard. especially when the word splash pants gets whispered into your ear and james does tough talk. he swore at me! i found it hysterical. so i was rewarded with extra sets of planks. lesson learned.

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exercise is perverse eh. somewhat the point, right?

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oh man this again. going back at it another round is intense. you’re supposed to do it slow too. so hard. but i did it because i am a machine.

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effortlessly like a swan, or a gazelle, at first.

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curls. a fave. you look skinny with your arms at your sides like that from dead on. i may have fallen in love with myself again.

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james says i am relatively in shape for my lifestyle and diet.

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i’ve been pullin’ out the big guns in life lately. big guns as in dimples. last night i broke a thousand bay street hearts.

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PRODUCT PLACEMENTTTTTTTT. proud and happy to share it.

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work out over jungle gym play time.

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james used to be a fat beast. over 200lbs. i am dying to see a before photo.

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i want to get a hot pink hello kitty towel. i will let one of you buy me one as a christmas or ten year anniversary gift. the more chio the better.

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i still can’t jump high to save my life. long legs fail.

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paaaaaaathetic.

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Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what these chicks say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way
Hate hate hate hate hate
I don’t care what these chicks say
I don’t even look their way
Look their way look their way

Every time I walk in the club
They hating on me cuz they know I look good
My hair done right and my dress real tight
All eyes on me I took the night.

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mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

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good work team.

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dear lesbians, seriously, inquiring minds (this one) want to know, am i attractive to you?

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not allowed to wear these next time. i had my gallaz too but figured there wouldn’t be a lot of foot work. meh.

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i still think this scale is majorly off. like five pounds off.

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diva outtie.

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met up with my mum at union to go to a single’s party for all the shout out nerds who commute on the go train. i was recognized twice. so awkward. also i had a panic attack in the cab on the way there. haven’t had one in awhile. my insomnia is to blame.

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last nite was quite the nite. thursdays in the financial district are considered “corporate night” and holy moly, you alpha men are total deviants and the reason why women are so controlling and neurotic mistrusting banshee messes.

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naturally, mom and i photographed the entire experience. she dragged me back to the burbs by cab so now i have to go back to the city and prepare myself for the next 72 hours. whirlwind week.

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good deek out with the pictures of cats and stuff. maybe i shouldn’t post that magnet before i blow it for every alcoholic in toronto. meh.

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it was a very lebowski afternoon.

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look i made my own weird reece peanut butter “cup” using pumpkin butter chocolate chips on shasha spelt bread (melodie is obsessed with this bread so it must be good) and it was actually delicious i scarfed it down fast. was starving. go hippie food yeah.

i’ve lost a pound. i still reject what the scale at TMR says. at my dad’s and at home i am lighter. i told james he should probably get a new scale cos his is garbage. i asked him why all italians are into splash pants so much. i am starting to break him down with my comedy i was doing some side squats once my body was getting sore and heavy and he said i looked like his nonna and i said yeah she WISHES.

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skinnier today than i was yesterday and these shots are so not indicative (big word me!) of how leaned out i now finally am. james said i can only weigh myself once a week. i said no deal, once every other day, he said no deal so i said ok fine only on skinny days then and he said that’s fine. tricked him though because what if every day is a skinny day? i weigh myself in the morning and at night.

thank you fashion magazines and cosmopolitan and YM. yeah actually YM is to blame for my weight obsession thank god that magazine tanked if they still existed i would write them an essay long diss letter. if my niece ever gets body issues i am going to pulverize whoever’s responsible. probably me. ugh.

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donnie brasco says: “what talent?”

what talent? don’t make me laugh donnie. i have more talent in a fingernail clipping than the other guy.

michael says: Bovine was like cool 6 yeras ago only losers go there now

that’s why you show up wasted at the end of the night following the “real shit” you did thanks michael for the cool insight please tell me more about places in toronto because i don’t know anything also maybe if you knew people as in establishment owners and got vip treatment you’d enjoy things more and wouldn’t notice what was or wasn’t passe, or care. you know what’s cool? nothing. as long as you’re having fun that’s all that matters no matter if yer in a dumpster dive or diner. love raymi.

anonymous says: Been following your blog for a while. Really don’t comprehend how you are sustaining yourself by doing this blog. Yes you might be popular at this time, but do you just keep posting naked pictures of yourself to get hits. You definetly don’t post anything of value, nothing that’s breaking any trends. Have you ever considered getting yourelf a legit job, what happen’s when people don’t find you as attractive or even memorable?

dear anonymous why are you asking of me such asinine ignorant questions? am i to anticipate the future for you? what of the thousands and thousands of corporate people who lose their jobs and livelihoods daily who spend years training for their placements, ladder climbing, and then all of a sudden the economy tanks and bloop, axed? why do i constantly have to prove and explain myself to strangers who snarkily, flippantly pose insulting, rude, and invasive questions of me? does it not look like i am thriving here for god sake? what do i care if i fail in a year, does it look like i am going to let that happen? am i going to run out of “being interesting”? why not ask this of newspaper (print world is dying) columnists? why do people ask me the what ifs? i’m like madonna, whatever’s hot tomorrow that you don’t know about yet, i’m already on to it and thinking of the next and the next. i’m good, we’re all good over here at raymi com. i’m a pioneer, an early adopter YOU ARE the one who is lost, not me. you worry about you. THIS, IS, a real job. traditional media was out years ago. the future is this, the present, is this. i don’t know what cave you’re getting wireless from but please bang a couple rocks together and get a fire going before you write an inch of stupidity over here again. may be popular at this time? been reading my blog for a while? how long is a awhile exactly and are you super super old or just really feeble? cult followings never die. find a need and fill it. you don’t need to have a “legit” job to know business. fuck man i am sick of this.

ahh yer from burlington. ‘NOUGH SAID.

hilarious says: “I’m like Madonna”
That’s the funniest thing I’ve read here,ever.

I get that you mean that you’re reinventing yourself every year, but you saying you’re like madonna for that, is like me saying I’m like Donald Trump just because I have a real estate license.

pretty sure i clearly stated why i am “like” madonna – it’s called trend forecasting and being ahead of the pack you fucking idiot. also, YOU are the one who mentioned reinvention, i never did and don’t feel that i do, but thank you for the unintentional compliment.

someone asked how i deal with “the haters” or “the hate” some days i dunno, i compartmentalize it and separate myself while others just totally fascinated by it. casie gets no hate. none. that’s completely foreign to me imagine if i woke up one day and all the hate was gone that would be fanfuckingtastic i’d do a cartwheel in front of the rummies up the street and kiss them (i’ve kissed a homeless dude before. he’s dead now. true story)(you know that old regular at the horseshoe with the beard? the next day i got lockjaw hahah) but anyway, the hatred for me. how do i undo that? i dunno. what is so fucking hateable about me? don’t answer that. people think when i am talking about myself, achievements, whatever, that i am directly talking to them and comparing our lives when really what i am doing over here has nothing to do with them yet apparently it does? i also do not understand the theory that you are doing it right if you have lots of people hating you or are a girl that other women just naturally hate. i want to be liked i’m a people pleaser if i can tell someone is hating me in a room of 100 i will be obsessed with making that idiot (who probably has all kinds of horrible opinions, politics, doesn’t recycle etc) like me. in summation, i have mental problems.

KEEP VOTING PLEASE THIRD POLL DOWN.

and remember, you always have a friend in raymi. is that how they say it? you have a friend in me? so weird, doesn’t make sense and it catches on. i’m about to watch my work out videos now. i am so sore. i don’t know how i’m going to man hunt tonite with my mom if i can’t even move ugh. my abs are killing it feels like ulcers but it’s not thank god.

third poll down thank you and holy timewarp they interviewed me a looooong time ago too. why i didn’t get an alert for this contest is a bit suspect. meh.

I am still as compulsive if not more so than I was when I first began blogging. I guess I’m pretty competitive, too, so there’s that. I’m not the only blogger anymore, so I have to keep my wits about me. In actuality though, I know what miniscule talent I have is unique unto itself, so I don’t feel very threatened.

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get ready to see me humbled, humiliated, abused, and punished!

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here i am signing in to The Motion Room with one of those visa things. by the time you get home there’s an email waiting for you asking about your session it’s really sweet. customer relations is important to me.

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look it’s a piece of history. this shoe i’ve had since i was 20.

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demonstrating the work out i do at my gym to james. this is what stationary abs working looks like. beauty eh?

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great posture. when TMR is done with me i will be a beautiful walker again.

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this is my hey it’s just us guys casual sitting position. total tom boy. i’m explaining my eating routine, drinking routine, everything. james gives a good mind ^%#$@ everything you say gets used against you when you’re training which makes me laugh. i said something like my body responds quickly to very little exercise and then later on as i was practically crying james threw it in my face. abuse motivates me. i also have to start a food journal, oh wait i have on already it’s called THIS BLOG.

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the lighting in that room is not flattering. i’ll have to come back with studio lighting next time hahah.

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why did i wheel myself out there i forget? there must have been a good reason for it. oh yeah, being immature. that’s right.

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measuring me all over. nice chin. thanks genetics. thanks mom. is that from the kerouac side or nana?

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reminds me of jazz class getting sized for costumes.

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i want to die right now some of these are so unattractive. my photographer is trying to torture me i must have pissed him off at some point.

Hi Raymi,

This recent post of yours Appreciate the hater’s fate caught my eyes.. fitness training = good on ya! Getting myself a trainer is one of the best things I’ve done for myself. I send many wishes of success your way!

Also, on the subject of discussing implants.. foot the bill… et. al, (and someone has probably already mentioned this) have you heard of:
www.myfreeimplants.com

Just thought I’d put that out there..

M

hmmm. that’s pretty tacky. thinking about it…

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oprah and i have arms in common.

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thorough.

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later on while doing lunges on that weird ball james was complimenting my technique and balance, leg form, i then sprang it on him that i took jazz for many years. cockily. i wonder how he will use that against me next time hahaha. he said dance training is the best for work out.

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ugh. you’re welcome everybody. there’s nothing like watching other people work out eh?

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go ahead. measure that shit. my legs are awesome. speaking of, why didn’t we measure my ass?

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unnecessary but after all that humiliation (and getting weighed) i demanded an ankle measurement.

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fat ultrasound.

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this was awkward. good thing i wore underwear. a comedian said once, you can be naked in front of your wife, you can be naked in front of your doctor but, being naked in front of both of them at the same time? blush city.

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um do you want me to kill myself guy?

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this reading sucked, we redid it. i have about a centimeter of fat surrounding my arms. maybe an inch. walking into oncoming traffic now peace.

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from the top of the image down, the gap and darkness is fat.

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as long as i stand very still and pose the fatness can’t get me.

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this cartwheel made me see stars for a minute. i didn’t eat before because i am stubborn AND i secretly had some americano. that’s right james. i needed it i had the worst sleep the night before. my mind is a battlefield.

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i am going to have to bring a different water brand tomorrow even though i am so the type of consumer that succumbs to fancy water marketing it’s just that every time james said smart water i thought he was about to call me smart mouth and then i’d go into a giggle frenzy. anyway, jennifer aniston is a liar, the water didn’t make me any more smart but good on her for the campaign it gave all of toronto the opportunity to draw mustaches neighbourhoods, bus shelters, the entire city over.

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future wifestyles. picture that a shopping cart i’m pushing, or a pram.

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please remind me about my posture at all times.

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i am faster than the speed of light. or camera shutters.

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pretty arrogant at first, you start out all easy and then level 14 or so you want to die. did i make it that far?

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that’s the money bangs swoop parting angle shot. DO NOT FORGET IT.

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i sounded like a p0rno though that is not the expression of enjoyment.

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totally mad woman here. all the mental garbage they say to trainers on fat loser shows is the real deal.

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this part sucks but i enjoy challenges, so then it doesn’t suck so much.

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ten minutes and he’s on you the whole time. there is no way i could or would do this on my own. i tried to cheat and press the level down nearing the end. not to be cute or anything it’s just, that hard.

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jesus are you kidding me here?

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yeah and this is just better. it’s reality baby.

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when you finally get off that thing your legs feel like they’re a thousand pounds. so heavy, you can barely move, the gravitational pull is so strong you want to become one with the floor.

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after-stretch toe touch.

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i was able to touch passed my toes. i slammed that thing so hard to get it to slide as far back as possible. you get to do it more than once thankfully. haha look at my shoes i am a teenager.

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this looks like i didn’t even get it passed my toes at all so maybe i didn’t afterall. ugh. well that’s what happens when 60% of you is legs. hmmph. all shrimps are flexible.

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can’t wait til my arms are ripped again.

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this test is stupid. you are stupid. YOU ARE ALL FUCKING STUPID. hahaha cry baby.

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that’s a pretty elaborate box just to measure how inflexible people are what is this 1900? can’t they make something more efficient that takes up less space? what else does this do, opens up as a storage locker? are shoes and socks and a whistle contained within? i am so getting it tomorrow i know it i’m scared. i accidentally typed sacred. i am that too.

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i am going to wear my funkiest socks.

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ugly walking test. i didn’t know why i was doing this but now i know why and my feelings are hurt now. just kidding, i don’t get hurt feelings i pay someone to get hurt feelings for me DUUUUUUUh.

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thankfully there are mirrors everywhere so you can keep your posture in check.

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dear playboy. MAKE IT HAPPEN.

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i learned so many moves to do on this thing.

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like the move from titanic.

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getting balanced. finding the sweet spot. if you’re anywhere near to as OCD as i am it may take you a little while.

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i’m propellering my arms forward and then backward and those guys are falling in love with me back there.

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side leg lunge lift things i dunno, it’s hard though. i am good at it because as previously stated, dance training. you might be shit at this. i challenge thee.

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squats.

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back that ass up.

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it’s better on a bubble. better for the core. you just feel everything this way.

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then you hitch hike.

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um, thanks for this.

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this one is the goofiest but does a lot of work. for what? i forget. casting spells maybe.

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we did it coach. oh and by the way, after the bike assault you wouldn’t break into this part of the body analysis straight away but because i am a hyper spazz perfectionist go getter i did it all in one day. if you haven’t worked out in a long time you would likely do this part the next day and you’d tell james where you were sore (all over) and he’d design you a specified test/routine (so much exercisey terminology to learn). my REAL test/training first go-round begins tomorrow. this is still totally a work out though i don’t care what they claim.

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james demonstrates some toe tap kicking. do these have names?

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i told you i was an angel. i’m floating. james is also photoshop worthy. i can easily place him in a nightclub setting.

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these weren’t as easy. lunge side squats.

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bahaha the tough-ass is finally coming out look at the reflection of james pointing if you can get passed the vision what is my ass.

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thanks for not telling me my tag was sticking out.

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this is so jazz class.

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dear diary, why am i such a wiener? i cannot figure it out. love, raymi.

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IT IS SUCH A MYSTERY.

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the work out endorphins must have been coursing through me see how smiley i am despite being tortured so.

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I HAAAAAAAAAAATE PUSH-UPS DIIIIIIIE-UPS!

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nice, um, angle.

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this is neat. my back is so arched cos i am so awful at push ups and my left hand has a carpal tunnel injury so it’s a bit strained. i will get better at these.

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just kidding this is actually a dance move we were working on.

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this has got to be the most inelegant pose ever.

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omg enough of those.

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i lifted my leg up in the dumbest way then collapsed in laughter.

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i got to do my favourite plank move. works your obliques (love handles). britt taught me it last year.

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do it on each side for 30 seconds.

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start to feel the pain.

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then die.

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giggled a lot during crunches cos of how goofy i looked and my pigtails pony tails’ head reflection egyptian arms also if james let go of my feet i’d flop back into the mat super hard loud and fast comedy gold.

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don’t rely heavily on the person/spotter though if you want to actually get something out of these crunches.

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this one scares me i feel like i am going to face plant into the ground and it will topple me i climbed off it like an old lady using a walker.

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was able to refrain (it was super hard though) from making a lewd observation here.

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this was the hardest part.

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so very worth it though.

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this looks like a circus act.

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or magic.

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i’m so glad i get to be personally trained three times a week. so far, all thumb’s up guys. NYE is just around the corner and you know what that means, time to join a gym or something for your resolutions to get in shape.

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woah that’s a struggle for sure.

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sweating makes my hair go brassy.

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i know i’m going to see results with a personal trainer way more than all the abuse i underwent since july at my crappy gym.

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i look insane. how would YOU look after all this?

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i know this move. it’s really hard after the whole assault. maybe next time i’ll start off with crunches? guess it doesn’t matter, if it’s hard to do that means they’ve already been worked out enough.

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passing it back and forth from legs to hands ten times ughhhhhhh i was at 9 and let it just roll away and said there’s a draft in here hmmm it just got away from me like that. cameraman was laughing his ass off all morning you’re welcome.

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you can vote more than once here with multiple answers (but you only get to actually vote the once), i know the answer to this question is complex. like me.

if there was a raymi tv show would you watch it
	yes addictively
	yes addictively but only cos i hate you
	no out of spite
	i lied when i chose no i’d really watch it
Free polls from Pollhost.com

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light headed.

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there’s that million (canadian) dollar smile. and dimple. i am a cabbage patch kid. we were born the same year btw. also so was the chicken mcnugget and billie jean was the number one song.

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pig tails stayed with me for the day in fact my hair is still pig tailed right now, totally totally messily though like i slept in a cave in the dark ages. and by pig tails i mean pony tails DON’T CORRECT ME. EVER.

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look my fat chin vanished.

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dear everyone, thank you for joining me on my gettin’ toned quest. you should try it with me. we’re not spring chickens forever you know. if you join TMR we can work out together it will be funnnnnnn.

awww thanks shulgan “I really do think she’s an under-recognized national treasure. She recently celebrated her 10-year anniversary, and her achievement over this last decade is ridiculous. No one comes close to her productivity, nor does anyone match the consistency of her excellence.”

(actual ten year mark is THIS SUNDAY)(and my dad’s birthday).

The Smirnoff Nightlife Exchange Project: India ticket contest winner is…. ERIN!

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Hey Raymi,

Just reading your blog and sending my picture to win a pair of tickets to the Smirnoff party. Its not my “best” pic…but its what I have on my work comp.

Me & my girls went downtown a couple years ago – they all live in the ‘burbs….so we rented a limo and did the whole 905er thing. I danced my ass off, poured my ass into the limo and proceeded to give foot rubs…just imagine, that foot could be yours..hahaa

Anyways…love your blog. Congrats on 10 years.

you totally totally win. congratulations on your pair of smirnoff tickets, erin. looking forward to givin’er with ya. the blondetourage are all going too and i’m taking britt.

prepare for battle.

wakestock archives scrollll. here too. sigh summer.

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“you are all pompous degenerates”

About Me

i have dated too many of you and neither of us fit the bill for the other.

there is a fleet of serial daters, the lot of us, we are all on this site because we are inherently flawed or just too picky. the older you get the harder this is. i for one am not willing to settle but this doesn’t mean i am difficult or a challenge, too set in my ways, or “intimidating” despite what every person i know tells me. haha.

i typically am an adapter. i was in a long term over a year ago for many years and then we were engaged. so i know i am not completely awful as i was ring worthy. i can be arm candy, your conspirator, gatherer, your loyal old fashioned lady.

i’m pretty smart (but i say stupid things often, endearing things that will make you feel like a man) and i enjoy to pose as an independent type though really i prefer relationships. we can blend our worlds together, nothing needs to be compromised, you don’t stop your life just because you fall in love though if yer keen on running away and dropping off together for a lust stint, game on.

i am a dreamer and a muse. i am witty and sharp. i have quirks. i can “play the game”. i do not cheat. i can be selfish but i can also go the distance. i am dependable and i hope i ace this job interview.

speaking of, my internet-related job is blogging. i say that with zero sheepishness attached. i hustle my ass off and lead a very charmed life because of it. i have access to lots of great stuff and experiences and am tired of bestowing it on my loser friends.

i have a thing for yuppie scum. hipsters. aged rockers. controlling men. unstable dudes. jocks. slumming it. making you think you have a chance when you don’t to avoid awkward confrontation and making you think i am in love with you because i somehow think that makes things better just to see if you are an idealist like me.

my older profile write-up made men write to me and accuse me of being “crazy”. if i were a man with what i had said prior (nothing out of the ordinary, just bare bones honesty) not one of you would say that, you’d simply go, oh, this is a man expressing his opinions of course, because he is a man. not to be all feminazi or anything but give the c-word a rest. your lazy intellect is showing when you go that route. i have demands and expectations just like you. i’m a catch. done.

if you like live music you’re in luck. if you like nice restaurants, that too.

First Date

we would do anything you wanted to do followed by me agreeing with everything you say and meeting your mother and washing dishes with her while you watch football and drink beer and then i pick up the tab.

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my body fat is 26% this means I AM FAT. i had an arm ultrasound and got to see the layer of fat surrounding my biceps. you guys think you’re all tough saying mean things to me all the time, well, i challenge you to a body analysis. i just looked at my chart again. i’m overweight. excuse me while i go punch a pillow. ok technically overweight but acceptable and healthy for my height and age.

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my big ass eyes are watching you.

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is that something in my nose?

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just doin’ my thing thang. i feel great after my workout which wasn’t even a workout apparently. i weigh more than my home scale tells me. more than my dad’s scale too. i am always dubious of scales. i’ll talk about all that later when i get photos back from today and do a proper post. for now, narcissism at its best.

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of course i love myself. someone’s got to.

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little roost behind me is my new favourite place. body is quickly going to be in a perma-pew position.

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bought these bell bottom gap pants from salvation army in burlington over the summer soooo glad i didn’t cut them into shorts they are a perfect fit and i never had such a flattering highwaisted pair of bell bottoms before that fit perfect and for like 5 bucks. i just took a bb photo of the tag because i am too lazy to get up and turn around and figure out if they were actually club monaco or gap.

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hello world, meet dorkstick. dorkstick, world. i’m going to call someone that today and i know exactly the guy. we’re meeting later to discuss the infamous globe and mail article he wrote on my breakup and other stuff i completely forgot we made plans until he texted me today. whoops sorry. glad you did chris.

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this shirt is just dying to explode open i already puffed my chest and ribs out as practise and the bottom button totally popped good thing they’re snaps. this used to be steph’s and she’s a little bird so you can imagine how small it is. i have a tiny upper torso thankfully and small ankles too i made them measure them for me and i said i was going to measure all the other girl’s ankles and then reveal my ultra teeny number. jesus it’s all i have ok just let me have this one thing CHRIST.

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i discussed possible implants last nite. yeah no by the time i could afford it or someone would want to foot the bill for me i’d be over it. you have to earn implants. big fake tits aren’t going to make you prettier in the face. i think i’d do it though, if hugh hefner bought them for me and stuck me in the magazine. i’m going to write to playboy actually. last nite during my insomniac tossing and turning i composed the entire email in my head as well as one to some resorts in maui and various other companies i’ve been putting off for awhile. INTERNS WHERE ARE YOU?

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if i say it’s my goal to be in playboy and invent a controversy around it then maybe it will happen. how many people are dying to rip into me for that eh.

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i’ve never done the full on money shot. i know hustler does it and playboy is classier and i don’t think i’d need to go spread eagle (ugh i HATE that term it’s so, vulgar) but yeah, the added anticipation of raymi finally going buck, my existing audience, the hatred for me, and the perverts…fingers crossed.

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there are sooo many hotter chicks than me, believe me i know, however, i have an interesting look and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how to look hot. work out like crazy, get blond hair, tan, cutesy outfits, maybe fake tits. write a book about it. bahaha.

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i am going to do my toenails later its been long enough. since i had my pedicure. maybe i’ll get minx nails.

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love these pants i’m going to wear them out for real. they’re better than my regular leggings which finally just bit the dust inner seam-wise and bonus some yuppie scum might fall in love with me. crazydick2010 had this to say about the above photo “you are every time more sexy” thanks guy!

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this morning in a zombie fog.

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lulu’s reusable bags are amazing. they have a zipper too and they chose the most boring and ordinary chick as a model ever. neat? safe?

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counter-acted it with a tattooed guy.

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movie time. i love sunday movies.

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jerk mussels. whenever i want something spicy or hot they always warn me like i’m a puny little baby and it sets me off. oh it’s hot? GOOD that’s what i asked for right?

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i love old world shit in the new world.

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get ready for a special treeeeeeeeeat.

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here. it. comes.

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THANK YOUUUUUU.

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i’m going to be super ripped and then get a tan to set it off and then i’ll look like a machine. thursday i go back for the second portion of my training test.

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leave me alone in a room this is the magic i make.

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that aloe plant is so heavy and massive and creepy and prickly.

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hurts guy. like my feelings. sniff.

JIGGA OUT!