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this is what breakfast lunch and dinner looks like in my world and the magic that makes this blog go ’round. i am trying to drink more water and having an apple here and there but really honestly lately i’ve not had much of an appetite. lack of sleep will do that to me, then the cycle is hard to break. my waistline isn’t complaining. that’s soy milk, i try to have very little dairy. i have weird food ideas and zany beliefs that if i do this or eat that, cut out this, then i can maximize my late night booze glutton excess. james says your metabolism is a burning fire and if you don’t throw something onto it (food) then it won’t keep burning and if your metabolism is out of whack then you get faaaaaaaaat. ok well then explain anorexics, they seemed to win in the metabolism starvation achievement lottery.

haven’t worn this baby in years. see?

almost parted with it the night of my party it was up for grabs. it is my mission this week to go through more leftovers and post photos of what’s available for the die-hards who couldn’t make it out.

i know it’s full on ridiculous but i don’t care it makes me feel great like a little, novelty act?

today i was a little sickly babushka. this is in the john at that gas station on lakeshore. aunt and i were en route to burlington for my dad’s birthday hoo-ha.

thursday nite cab ride, foggy nite. likely contributed to the decline of my immune system’s almighty (virtually non-existent) powers. actually, i think i am relatively healthy (knock on wood) i don’t think i get as sick as i used to.

i’m in a full blown anxiety attack while taking these. talking to the driver about the weather, global warming, tropical vacations, winter. i was hiding my panic. it’s so terrifying and embarrassing but i know what is happening to me and can control it and breathe calmly as i focus on the goal which is to not wig out. thinking about the impending singles party i was on my way to wasn’t exactly a help. i met my mom at union and made her walk to the bathroom with me while i sat in the stall for a moment of calm. i’ve just been overstimulated lately and haven’t had any time to myself, one thing after another after another and thinking about all the upcoming things and boom, you start to hyper-ventilate. i dunno if you’ve ever suffered an anxiety attack before but it can be frightening.

and then this. the nervous atmosphere and awkward vibes, tension, the cameras, photographers, singles, catered, drink tickets, it was like the most hilarious setting to be in for someone in the middle of an anxiety attack. the title of my next-next book will be AT LEAST MY NIGHTMARE IS CATERED. i didn’t see any guy who caught my fancy. there was one guy who might of had a chance, we made eye contact a few times, he was too shy to approach, i looked too intimidating and unwelcoming so we let the moment pass. mom and i left for jack astor’s where every single man was post work already wasted.

going with the flow. mom was like you don’t seem yourself. yeah i know, it’s called having an anxiety attack and then partly-zonked from half a chill pill.

sticking my name tag where it belongs. i want to get to a place in my career where i won’t ever have to open my stupid mouth again. people will just know what i mean by my blinking.

look at my body language i’m so on edge hahha.

people are floored that i do normal people things. like dating sites. britt says i should be getting paid to date. fucking right good idea. lsw stands for lakeshore west go train line, pretty invasive right haha. i don’t even read the shouts outs but apparently people are obsessed by them. just like craigslist but every day printed during the work week. i wonder if i’ve ever gotten any on my way to visit my dad? SPOTTED, CRAZY GIRL DRESSED LIKE A RAINBOW PLATINUM BLONDE WITH FOUR HUNDRED BAGS LOOKING OBSESSIVELY INTO HER BLACKBERRY.

i used to dress like a yuppie to ensnare men when i was too young to be doing so. i fit in pretty good eh. except for the tattoos. totally give me away.

a new hater is trying to say i’m pot bellied now. nice try there sucker.

funny to see a tree covered like this.

i self-entitledly walked up to the stack of dirty trays on my way out and took one for a rain shield.

mom you look cute with my headband on. i saw a girl wearing it last nite at the india party. by the time i decided to maybe approach her to make her headband all about me she was gone and i was already on to the next thing holding my attention.

one night out as a blogger totally kills an outfit for me after its being photographed copiously. no worries here though as red wine got on the white collar of my jackie o sweater. sigh. life. things. destruction.

blurry don’t care love the skinny. i’ve been bloated all summer let me own and enjoy this.

james said i am getting ripped and that what i said about my body being receptive to exercise was right. he’s going to benefit so much from my mania haha. i should be asleep right now speaking of. i might cancel tomorrow’s training session if i am too mangled from this cold. it’s a bad one. one of those ones that take you out for 72 hours except actually a few days longer but you never get a sick day when you are self-employed. the guilt just eats away at you.

the majority of my dinner. well we snacked at the singles party but it wasn’t that substantial. ok yes it was but it was the first thing i ate in days it seemed.

masters of the universe bar.

mom manipulated me into cabbing home with her.

these are ridiculous.

coug shoe collection. when i have my dream house i will have an entire wall of wedges. it is my goal to be a shoe person one day.

i feel like shoe fetishes are for those who need to compensate for lacking in other areas of appearance. sorry but i do. yes they add but they aren’t necessary in the grander scheme of things. so says the fortunately tall girl.

look at that spiked one in the back. fierce. i would have individually photographed each one but i was too tired.

came home to prepare for wolf parade. another huge night.

which i’ll blog proper over the next few days. i’ll spread out the material as i don’t plan to be doing ANY partying whatsoever this upcoming week nor will i be able to. look how tired i am and guess what i am allowed to look tired because i am a real person just like you. i’m organizing three groups of people for this concert out of the kindness of my heart i didn’t even want to go i could have just stayed at my mom’s but i wanted to hook up brosz7kowski. good karma. i get a lot of perks and i like to share them if i can. i got him a photopass too. drink tickets. a piece of fish was also there that night. it’s weird when you realize pieces of fish are real people too and do real things like you but then you are actually someone like me and totally foreign to them. i am so dying single.

fuck i’m so overwhelmed. getting melodie on list too last minute she decided to come. happy she did. we haven’t hung out in awhile.

my room is totally trashed all over again.

didn’t know it came out so early. seeing it in print today for the first time was pretty cool. funny picture of all of us at the table too, rob looks like a blobby fun dinner guest. i look tired and my hair looks dumb and seeing that title in print is really funny. EXTRA EXTRA! LAZY ASS GETS FAMOUS IN SLOW MOTION!

strung out sundays i like because i like the slowness and i reward myself with self-indulgent internet sleuthing and catching up on the dumb things i need to catch up on and preparing my game for the upcoming week.

-too legit to quit xoxo.


  1. here is my experience with eating over the last few months. i used to eat half a granola bar before my workout and half afterwards. then i would come home and not eat just b/c of lack of appetite.

    since i joined a weight loss challenge at the Y the trainer has given me nutritional advice. i changed the way i was eating (first by eating more before my workout and by having something to eat right after my workout). Just doing that alone has given me a lot more energy for my workouts.

    Before I work out I have a bowl of cereal and a banana and after my workout (within 20 mins) I have a protein drink. The trainer told me it’s important to eat right after working out because it makes you more energetic the following day. I don’t know how it works but it really does.

    i currently work out six days a week. it’s hard to not obsessively focus on calories but i think i’m doing pretty well. my workouts are kind of long right now (one hour of cardio plus one hour of classes — weight training or pilates.) I don’t know what type of nutrition your body needs for your workouts (like how long and intensive they are.)

    if you don’t eat enough before your workout it’s kind of like putting the breaks on while giving the car gas. then we wonder why the car isn’t moving.

    I’ve changed the way I think about exercise and nutrition. I am now at a point in my life where I feel like it is about getting fitter and healthier as opposed to achieving that “perfect” reading on the scale. Or being a size two or whatever. I’ll never be able to achieve that type of figure. I am your height but I think my frame (bone density?) is bigger.

    Regarding the anorexia thing I’ve had friends go through it and it’s scary. yeah i guess they do win (?) in the weight loss area but it’s at a huge price to their general health. it throws off the menstrual cycle and causes osteoporosis along with a lot of nasty issues.

    That’s not really advice it’s just my experience.

  2. You look much sexier than when you were with with a certain Mr X.

    e.g. 2, 4, 5 and 6 from top.

    I’m not a shoe fetishist, but my inner ladyboy loves your footwear selection ;-)

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