lifestyles of the blonde and blameless
these are my mother’s pictures from thursday night. i feel behind and overwhelmed with all the material i am sitting on, my ocd brain does not like it. i’m like an assembly line. wow look out bill shakespeare this post is going to be a doozy i can see it now. late nite last nite. i knew it, couldn’t be avoided, also i am sick so that’s a bonus. i wonder if it’s the same thing my dad had?
mom and i squirreled ourselves away in the corner like shy little mean girls. we were photographed upon arriving and paying at the door. yes, i paid for something. actually mom paid for me (for once, she’s really stingy) cos of my $20 rush hour traffic cab ride from pdale to union to meet her.
i didn’t do my hair or clean myself up much for full on princess assault cos i felt like hell and couldn’t be arsed so i dressed fancier to compensate. the party wasn’t bad, more women to men ratio i think it will be a successful launch for the next party now that the first one is out of the way. typically version 1.0 anything is generally a write off. that’s what i’m told for if you ever do stand up comedy, your first set you will tank, bomb, whatever. doesn’t really help one get over nerves or motivate you out of fear to give it a try.
my mom was getting on my nerves because we were torn between the royal york or the keg. i am seriously man hunting and i figured if no hipsters are going to approach me in my queen west bubble it’s time to extend the territory. one of my pieces of fish spotted me at jack astor’s, he facebooked me yesterday, did i just see you? oh yeah i guess you did. no matter man financial district, thursday nite, teeming with blokes don’t bring sand to a desert.
there was a wallet at the singles party at joe bidali’s and a stick of cocoa butter. lots of prizes too so i nicked it. that’s my new amex card haha keith on fb went hmmmm seems a bit bendy.
future kills. casie said all the girls bagged dudes at the movember gala same night as this well, so did i. play on playa. ok no i didn’t bag anyone i went home with my mom but yeah, got some contacts is all aka future kills.
in the background i am telling this guy off for drunk bbming his ex.
red flag. next.
bachelor number two. we’re going to dinner next week. he better have good table manners and tip handsomely.
men have major hard ons for girls in specs why is that?
this is all just walking to the royal york man every dude was wasted and verbal and with my mom ready and willing to exploit with her point and shoot you get to see it all. he was trying really hard to get me to go with him in his limo. dude ok sure? yeah i am going to just drop everything and have a limo ride. maybe if you gave me a thousand dollars and didn’t touch me but can you blame him, i’m like alpha bait.
mom good shot.
what’s up dude.
if only this wasn’t from below and my bun wasn’t so pinched and weird.
it got a little ridiculous. prostate cancer function they wanted us to join but the party was winding down so we didn’t bother going up.
next time i’ll bring a for sale sign.
gross. i don’t like being touched by strangers. or licked.
they were going to the “ballet” i said yeah i know what that means. scoundrels.
he was hot. my mom wished i got his number. i’m glad i didn’t he’s so trouble no thank you i am a lady i don’t date dicks who go to strip clubs.
what an idiot though eh. he was trying to get my number and i was overwhelmed by the pack of men and just kept repeating i don’t have a card (i ran out from passing them out all night long hahhaa). you have a babe under your arm and you say to her you’re going to the ballet to stare at women that you aren’t allowed to touch and you have to pay for it too. good move danny ocean. smooth.
see? who are you what’s your number?
library bar. mom is wearing my headband. she’s jealous that my hair photographs blonder. i’m holding the tray. i stole one from jack astor’s and used it as an umbrella/hat from the rain. how perfect is it that we’re sitting on a cougar printed couch?
vamping for my imaginary audience.
now here is why my head feels like a smashed orange right now. i am basically sound academy’s hired groupie i love vip. luh uh ove it. i’m going to start interviewing bands i’ll be the next nardwuar except i’ll be the next raymi. i think the music scene will really love me interviewing their heroes i know nothing about. so like hi you’re wolf parade um, what do you do? is that a guitar? what kind of shoes are you wearing? do you think my nose is too big? hahaha.
i dressed like the emerald city gatekeeper. a guy grabbed my head/hat at the end of the show and was mesmerized i was all, WHAT!?!? then i realized i was wearing the magic hat. there is no way i am getting rid of this i am an idiot for even considering it. it’s a good sound barrier too.
now i want to discuss an issue that i know some of the foodie world is in a bit of a tizzy over. i am going to address the following using bullet points because i want to come across as a professional here and i want you to think i am very important and i do not want to have to repeat myself on these issues again. picture lucy liu in kill bill in the board room actually i will help you here is a visual.
actually, scrap the bullet points allow me to just run on sentence this school yard politics for everyone else who doesn’t care about the food world set/crowd/scene. there has been a reaction to me having the audacity to eat and be paid for it and to consider myself a foodie or reviewer by jealous foodie geeks. i’m a lifestyle blogger. before i decided to review the dining experience of restaurants in the city, which i am completely within my rights to do, it’s a free country and no one is stopping you to build a niche and make money from what YOU are doing, anyway, i don’t see what the big deal is. yes it is an advertisement. yes it is blog content. yes i love to eat and photograph and share my life. why doesn’t this make sense to people? why are you crying foul here? i have a heavily-trafficked toronto-centric blog and if you go in my archives you can see years of foodie photos all over the city. i go out a lot i eat out a lot, i have gained real life culinary experience from all of this, do i claim to be the best or know everything about food? absolutely not. do i care? no. does it matter? no it doesn’t because dining is only a percentage of the big raymi picture. some restaurants want in on this, it’s affordable advertising, they are already established and thriving businesses and why not have raymi over, it’s fun, lets impress the girl, of course my review will be biased but that isn’t totally fair as the food IS excellent. why would they invite me and then unimpress me? if i don’t like something i am honest and will say so. if i don’t know what a retarded mushroom is then i will say so. i take notes. how is this NOT a review? some bitch on twitter said i am a soul-selling whore “@coreymintz Yup. It does. It is. I am. But at least I’m not a soul-selling whore.” to corey mintz and that i make her want to go all Columbine on someone’s ass. “That girl makes me want to go all Columbine on someone’s ass. @coreymintz Any resto that pays her fee or offers freebies should be ashamed.” wow. and you are the mastermind behind tasteTO? how professional of you. oh wait looking at your site it says you are putting tasteTO on hiatus for the foreseeable future. extra professional! i don’t care what personal family matters you have (i have my own humongous family bs going on right now too but i still carry on) you can’t keep your shit together enough to keep your snoozefest fat cow blog going yet are able to tweet slag some other girl who is able to keep her website going? why should people be ashamed to work with me? look at me. i keep my shit tight, i am an achiever, my food posts are epic, professional, thorough, and a pleasure to see and read. i have been recommending restaurants, bars, clubs, stores, bands to people for years, i am an expert on lifestyle and culture just like everybody else except I’M FUCKING COOLER THAN YOU. i do a lot of good for this city whether you agree with me or not. it MATTERS what i say about a restaurant even if i don’t link to their website, just saying the word is enough i come up first in google when you will google their name. fact. i have access to elite, to dirtbag hip kids, all of that, and i earned it and i prove it on a day to day basis. i am not a fucking whore you ignorant goat. i know about hip places before they even exist. do you? no. you are a bandwagon foodie jumper and your website failed so you can go get fucked for all i care and so can your stupid nerdy friend karen. i am a dream to conversate with. women always feel like they need to aggressively tell me what they think about me once they are won over by my charms. last nite for instance i made this hot cool chick from newfoundland absolutely melt. if i am so terrible how come i am a people magnet, hey? i stand out, you stick in. you look like a stick in the mud, boring, and typical. where is the wow factor? i don’t see it.
i wasn’t even going to address any of this because i am annoyed by the constant barrage of bitchy that comes my way. can we go back to the good old days when you meet a person in real life and then you get to decide if they are a good person or not? you idiots don’t know me and you’re going through my reel of cutesy playing the game photos and base judging me. that’s so lazy. i’m sure you have it together and you’re better citizens than i am because you’re chasing the yuppie dream, congratulations you have won at the game of life let me email you an award.
in summation, i apologize for nothing. i bust my balls and i work very hard, why do you have to give me shit about it all the time? thank you for pissing me off and trying to create drama because you have nothing better to do with your vanilla lives.
were YOU in the toronto star? do you know how many times i have been written about in various news publications over the past month? do you think that happens from not working hard? i am my own PR girl. i have an idea and a vision and i MAKE it happen. i am sitting on several future projects presently so this is futile even addressing and i am only doing so cos i know it’s going to only happen again. i’m sorry for you that you woke up one day and realized you had some competition maybe instead of fighting the war that’s already lost and name calling you should focus on yourself instead.
I’ve been eating out a lot of late in support of trying out all the restaurants that cheese boutique were hosting over 8 weeks. This blossomed as a concept with some other restaurants in Toronto that were not apart of that event…that’s called join the bandwagon.
I was asked to do the event run and gladly accepted because CB-PR saw the potential for me to tell you all about their event because they were confident that everyone eats everyday but you probably may have wondered what it’s like to go to some of these places.
Gourmet isn’t cheap and it does make people gun shy about trying new things because nobody wants a bad evening out.
You get to experience the restaurants with me. Everyone wins, you get to know about CB, which if you haven’t been that’s just insane really, especially now if you’re looking for something special for the holidays for your family event meal.
Anyway, I get to know about restaurants and tell MY audience why they are great. I’m not out here telling other publications to stop doing what they’re doing because the Raymi show is here…I’m just living my life. I get to eat another day and keep this blog functional because it doesn’t take 5 min to write a post.
ps. i am 150,000 sites ahead in rank than Taste To….that’s thousands in the
multiples better that TasteTo wishes they had..perhaps their site would
still be functional if they’d just been nice and asked me to do some reviews
for them. hmmmm. something to consider.