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The Devil’s apprentice he gave me some credit He fed me a line and I’ll probably regret it

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melodie thinks i might have this disease i can’t recall the name of. my stomach can get bloated at the drop of a hat. maybe i have an allergy? the fluctuation over the span of 24 hours, 48 hours, is night and day. i can look like a rail and then i can look like a whale. sick of it.

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biiiiitch face.

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sass styled this outfit. she wouldn’t let me get this one dress i wanted just because i could squeeze into it so i said fine then go find me something awesome.

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new favourite outfit. horrible photos of it though.

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where the hell are my roommates do you guys even live here anymore?

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ok now that’s just desperate.

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hmm nah, still got it.

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fixed hair once i was done. i’ve a penchant for photographing self as slovenly.

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rompers, gotta love ‘em. off the sales rack too, saving/spending money hiiiigh.

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talkin’ caterin’ lookin’ like what women actually look like when they party plan. when i got to britt’s she was mashing something at the stove she looks at me over her shoulder and says she didn’t look like this three hours prior. said she looked like a wreck. the horror of the early dinner guest. there’s always one (not me) and you have to babysit entertain and you look like a tornado spat you out. put that guy to work.

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two nights ago? on the couch. we watched the joneses and royal tennenbaums. i love rt so much but it always makes me so sad after. if any dude reading this looks like (or can) luke wilson in the suicide scene after he shaves all his beard off i will wed you AND sign a pre-nup and give you half of all future (currrent) earnings. you will need a designer tennis shirt too.

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somehow sass figured out how to work the tv/dvd situation. i’m fuckin’ useless. i never watch tv unless it’s turned on already.

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she’s been in america a long time. they don’t have dill or ketchup flavour. speaking of joneseseseses (jonesin’).

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don’t even get me started on how long her hair is. a jealous (not a real) friend would tell her to cut it and give it to charity like she initially intended. fuck that babies don’t need wigs, that’s pedigree baby you hang on to that mane and you snare a man post haste.

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totally forgot we had dessert after mitzi’s mmmmitzi’s. i’d be a rail or starved to one if mitzi’s wasn’t around the corner from adventurehouse. those nites you just can’t stave off hunger anymore it’s the only place around.

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the tofu sticks are great you can choose from all the wing sauces for dipping. i always order at least two. then i ask for another kind for my wings that are also a completely separate flavour so i come out of there with four different flavours minimum. yes, i am insane.

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sweet potato lamb roti. you could jerk off to it.

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gave one of my wings away to a bar fly (after i smothered it in jerk sauce).

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if you come to my neighbourhood chances are i have nothing to offer you to eat so we’re goin’ to mitzi’s.

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and i’m wearing an open to the navel shirt. what did i do the night before to look so tired? thanksgiving? oh right hahahaha.

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the signal is shit there so we will be forced to talk to one another. i hope this is ok with you.

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gorgeous girl. i was blogspotted in UO yesterday (hi danielle!) by a girl who is interested in doing a show on me. she said she was keen on sass for it too as well as meredith. i casually say oh sass is here too and screamed up through the stairs at sass to come down. funny moment, the girl was not expecting for sass to be with me i guess it took adrenaline courage enough to approach me, she seemed a bit overwhelmed. i really had to take a leak and i also had shopping on the brain. i love buzzed shopping. had a mimosa at the gladstone with lunch. love the slaw at gladstone.

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this outfit is very gossip girly.

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time for paul bunyan shoes.

here’s some crap off my blackberry.

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gladstone lunch. eyes were getting coffee jitters/burn out foggy sleepy so out came the malcolm x goggles.

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love the hour glass sculpt.

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doughy looking in deep river.

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supermarket dinner last nite mmmmmmmmmm.

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will never get sick of their menu.

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that woman in the back was reading about longing. i overheard a hipster yuppie say we want everything and we don’t want to pay for it, over a pint with another yuppie hipster. oh men. business. you are so my type.

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laaaaaaaaandscape.

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how did i arrive at this tegan and sarah look?

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being rescued from the remote wilderness.

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at the height of intervening with that lunatic i opened my fortune then i howled and snickered. i had had e-fucking-nough. since then numerous other crazies have sprouted up in my inbox. i guess they were there all along but maybe it’s the change of season, i dunno. just leave me alone guys unless you’re movie star handsome don’t fucking bother me i have no time for your games i mean it. output mode only.

15 thoughts on “The Devil’s apprentice he gave me some credit He fed me a line and I’ll probably regret it

  1. Dill and Ketchup? Meh.

    We don’t have Zesty Cheese Doritos or Baked Chicken Lay’s.

    And that’s bad.

  2. Totally overwhelmed! haha im a nervous wreck sometimes but It was nice to see you in person. I will email you soon with a proposal :)

  3. Mmm…maybe you have gallstones?? I had them and they would inflame and put so much pressure on my back I would be in severe pain and then my stomach would bloat and then I would proceed to vomit…good story eh… Ps. had my gallbladder removed and I am good to go! Well besides the fact that I just found out I have gasteritis..boo…have a good day!

  4. Grammy Liz approves 100% of the romper stylings! It’s a shame that the crazy had to ruin your writer’s retreat, but maybe…it’ll make for a good story?

  5. My sister, the one you met, used to gain or lose 5 lbs. overnight & looked bloated sometiumes. We thought it was just from drinking or something. Annnnywaze, she has celiac. She quit on the gluten and dairy and no more bloat.

  6. Mary-Beth, at the Central, you gave her something for me, it was a while ago (I said thanks, very cute). You go to the doc & ask for a blood test, hers showed negative though and they still suspected so she a biopsy of her small intestine.

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