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she sold her love to the modern man

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kathleen loves seagulls. they get a bad rap because of humans. they’re addicted to our sugary chemical food waste so really you have no rights calling them shit hawks cos it’s your shit you scattered all over the planet you fucking assholes. they’re merely a reflection of you.

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destroyed my brake pads. kathleen hooked it up. love you!

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here’s video highlights of that distillery party from last weekend. great turn out!

i think i’m going to have a massive ten year blog anniversary jam. companies who want in on swag providing, sponsorship, bands even, get at me. just trying to sort out logistics. the actual date is november 28 (also my dad’s birthday) kind of a hallmark. ten years. what a dinosaur. what the hell do i do for that? cry in front of a podium? where should i have it? maybe i’ll put together a trivia challenge for prizes or a powerpoint presentation slideshow i dunno, something. should i get roasted? agh nervous just kicked in. ok i have stuff to do now. went on date two with gym guy last nite. i was basically black out drunk on our first one. kinda funny. we went to yuzu (amazing) then made fun of people in the soho grand bar. they have amazing martinis named after neighbourhoods in the city. there isn’t one called parkdale though. what would the components be? listerine, crazy glue and windex. the blue of the windex combined with the piss yellow hue of the listerine would blend ever so nicely.

i have two more work shifts one today and one tomorrow so if you want to see my retarded face in there those are your chances. 5-whenever i get out of there and tomorrow i open then i go to a cottage and meditate in a forest in the rain.

my very first blog posts. cringe.

me at 17 in oxford. ten years ago. feels like yesterday.

some tard in my comments is like you better have something up your sleeve otherwise people are going to make fun of you for quitting your job. yeah uh why do you think i quit idiot. also way to support the independent pursuit. live bravely, dream big, be semi-insane and take risks.

oh and the does it offend you? yeah! show is tonite at mod club if you want to hang in the balcony in my reserved section with food (sorry no free drinks this time) let me know and i’ll put you on the list it’s starting to fill up. PARTY ON RAYMI’S DIME!

set times:

Doors: 7pm
Does It Offend You, Yeah?: 8-8:45pm
Kele: 9:15-10pm

15 thoughts on “she sold her love to the modern man

  1. my friend tristan is performing at the central tonight! i think he’s rapping or something i can’t make it so show him some love for me? (make out with him)

  2. I cosign that zoo shit.
    Would love to finally meet you IRL/see Kele, but I’m doing quality time with the wifey.
    Also, seagulls aren’t shithawks. Pigeons are shithawks. Know your scavenger birds!

  3. Do it! Throw a rager. Art show Halloween, November, Whenever. People will for sure come FOR MILES and MILES. Dude, come on now. :)

  4. Congrats on the decade, Raymi. I think you should do power point that aids trivia– it’s how we do at O’Hanlon’s.

  5. Hey Raymi, I’m a long time lurker, first time poster. I nearly spit out my coffee when I read your description of the non-existent Parkdale Martini. As a former resident of Parkdale I concur that would probably be the ultimate “salut” to Parkdale.

    I also came out of the shadows to congratulate you on quitting your job and taking the risk. It’s a ballsy thing to do and only those who have the balls can do it and do it successfully.

    You will be successful and piss on the wanker-haters who say otherwise.

  6. I love the components for the parkdale drink, though I am fairly certain someone on the DTES has beat ya to it. Enjoy the forest, I just came back from a forest foray of sorts – it was so serene, peaceful, and beautiful.

    Then you come back to the city. No one prepares you for that.

  7. Hey so since I’m drunk right now I can tell you why people hate on you so much and not just the jealousy thing. Well kinda the jealousy thing. I feel like you know this and also that people tell you this all the time but I’m going to say it because I have zero inhibitions right now. You are a beautiful girl with extraordinary talent paving your own way through this world of conformity and dependence. You do so much just for yourself and it inspires me to be a more confident and “go-getterish” woman every single day I read a new post. I love what you do because it makes me feel like a true friend is confiding in me and that gives me comfort for some reason. This turned out to not be a why people hate on you thing and more of a novel but whatever. Sorry for being so longwinded and annoying but I can’t help it.

  8. being from a land that in many places mimics a pre-industrial revolution, or even a pre-contact environment; i am annoyed to report that in the absense of garbage, seagulls will congregate in giant colonies just to freak out over natural things like crayfish or fish guts or dew worms.

    they’re nature’s garbageman, pretty tough to think of it as a noble bird when there are so many other birds that don’t have garbage hanging out their mouths. but it’s true, an eagle’s a scavenger too and people think of an eagle as awesome, so why not seagull? probably their evil red eyes.

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