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he’s a sleeper gay

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945277567/in/photostream/

i was still the very new girl here so i was acting like i wasn’t taking a self-timed photo. i was just acting hung which was perfect and not actually an act at all.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945755306/

sigh. but who has time to just sit anymore? i asked this guy what he was going to do today (yesterday) and he was like laundry, read, etc. wow, reading, when is the last time i made time for that? i see it like such a waste of time now because i have so many personal projects on the go that i’m behind on i won’t have time to read until i’m like 45. anyway, hi bench.

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cozy collection. love it.

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sans tubes. warning, this post contains “hip”sters. WHEN HIPSTERS VACATION!

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i’m kind of sort of ludicrously hung and sleep-deprived so this might get retarded. ha might. this picture couldn’t be more hipster if there was a fucking hipster in it. oh wait. ok fuck i am not even remotely making sense right now. nothing like a ghettoblaster. nothing like the WORD ghettoblaster.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945766000/in/photostream/

stew’s sis was like how many bikinis did you bring??? me: three. unabashedly so. then i turn to stew, how many shirts with wolves did you bring? i think like 8. hahaha. he got this off threadless, look at the one eating flesh. stew is vegetarian.

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first morning, kinda hung/drunk still, pre-coffee, pre-wake n bake. full on skitzed-out. my hair and face just became more and more parkdale throughout the weekend. i didn’t brush my teeth once. it’s the cottage so get over it. apparently it’s good for your teeth to go skid rat once in awhile, natural cleaning? if there’s a dentist out there who reads this thing can i get a confirmation on that?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945771448/in/photostream/

trish’s family owns moon basin marina and she’s the only girl in the family so we got the princess cabin, multi-level, two balconies. her cousin was up there too fishing with buddies and he was all pissed and jealous. why do you get the sweet cottage? cos i’m fucking awesome she said. also, shit together. try having that too next time maybe. holy fucking hilarious ginos they came over and got ripped and were like cranked to 11 in terms of everything. so intense. i was lying in bed upstairs totally spent listening to them scream and destroy shit killing bugs by punching them into the table. i came downstairs and almost murdered them.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945774146/in/photostream/

that pose is so bad it’s good. stealing it.

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our dynasty bedroom.

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screwdriver coffee cigarettes lets do this.

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everyone on twitter thought that was a stripper pole in a photo i tweeted. yes. there’s a stripper pole at the cottage. get fucked idiots hahahaha. i trashed that room with my clothes ten seconds after taking this. overpacked so much i really need to stop doing that.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945789974/in/photostream/

i know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i have so many photos of this guy.

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ridiculous fucking looking thing right? our children are going to be like YOU GUYS TALKED ON PHONES LIKE THAT WHY???! THAT’S SO STUUUUPID!!!

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i love it because i appreciate the effort that must have gone into putting a payphone out in the middle of nowhere just so a fisherman could call his wife.

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WHEN HIPSTERS VACATION CONTINUED!

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not mine. should be though.

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i could puke. right now my view is of a garbage truck and ten crazies talking to mars.

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the bratty pack kids. i’m doing eileen (nana) face. i have ten thousand of those jack daniels hats from wakestock. speaking of, the jd 160th ann party is tonite at the drake. i’m only going for a little bit because i know tomorrow will be an utter write-off if i stick around too long not to mention i”m at the drake so fucking much i could be a stool. or propositioned as an escort in the lounge. bahahhaa.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945817932/in/photostream/

get over yourself nature.

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oh shit someone somewhere is writing poetry.

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my toe polish is heinous, fixing today.

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such a good crew of people.

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i’ll get stew’s photos never. he’s moving from across the street to trish’s building. so bummed.

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i must be blasted these are horrible poses.

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we hit the casino on our way back to the city and agreed that if we won big we’d just drive straight to canada’s wonderland. i lost 40. she lost 20. the guy at the door who carded us said in my photo ID i look like kat von d (black hair). that guy needs to get out more jesus. also do you know how depressing a casino is on a monday morning before noon?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945839936/in/photostream/

dance party time. i had to delete the video it was too obnoxious for existence. some moments are meant to be killed not captured.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945842778/in/photostream/

look how boy i can go. this is why bitches be hatin’ cos they’re all dainty and girled-out. i stroll in, they get confused by how turned on they are by this girl who is like a girl, but like a guy, but like an awesome and it makes them feel ordinary because they can’t gender-bend like me. please say that made some semblance of sense just a little aside from how conceited i am.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945260989/in/photostream/

now watch as the northern masturbating forest spider awakens to a new day.

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i can’t tell time (which day) anymore based on all my costume changes.

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can i get a hash sponsor please? look how happy i am to be smoking hash. do you know anyone who frowns when they smoke hash? i peeled a chunk off the gino boys’ mound and was like this is mine that i earned for being annoyed by you for the last two hours i need this for my hangover thank you goodnight. always plan ahead amigos. too bad we didn’t get any shrooms then i could come back with 4000 photos of a leaf that mesmerized me and was meaningful. i can own you like that double rainbow.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945269961/in/photostream/

trish getting dissed by the dog.

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the water was brilliant.

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hipster splosion! i feel like tattoo artists should or will phase out all that tribal and asian symbols shit and have stuff like this in their books so you can just walk in and be like i’ll have hipster mural #236 please thank you but instead of the unicorn defecating itself i’ll have a shark that’s half bear.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/raymilauren/4945282567/in/photostream/

i was taking a picture of this old school ice cold drinks sign and this baller was all excuse me miss you’re taking pictures of the wrong thing so i go oh yeah well then pose for me baby. love the gold chain.

ok i have to get on some people’s asses now in email land. talk to you soon.

39 thoughts on “he’s a sleeper gay”

  4. Hash is the prime minister of soft drugs. I’m trying to switch from weed to hash entirely.

    Also, make time to read. I know you’re busy, but it’s good for you.

  10. It’s healthy to go a few days sans brushing so long as you don’t pound too much sugary/sticky crap during that time,something about a brushing break and avoiding alcohol based mouthwashes benefits your mouth.
    Also Sleeper Gay, WTF? Did I miss something? I saw/heard no talk of such in this here post.

  14. Man,You are so creative! Well if he’s a gay guy you’re uncertain of, then you’ve already decided right? That he is? Seems If you really are uncertain, make out with him, check the package, take his temp (or let him take yours). Maybe he’s a sleeper straight. Either way, it worked out well for all of us. BLOG FODDER

  15. it’s not directed at me at all its just a term i came up with that coincidentally used twice in the last week stop reading into my titles theyre pointless most of the time

  18. I wasn’t reading into it I thought it was funny, and looking for a connect to the title in the update.

  19. “now accepting TIFF party hook-ups.”

    Just so happens my buddies on the board of directors of TIFF (not that i’m bragging,iam). Went to Norman Jewisons barbaque
    at the film centre up on Post Rd. a couple years ago. Thats
    apparantly the golden goose of parties. It was pretty cool.
    I was a bit lonely all by myself those, but i make friends fast. Hmmm wonder what this year’ll bring? Good thing i’m
    going to a private TIFF house party tonight i’ll have to
    Query him. Thanks for the reminder. Lauren right?

  21. Who’s me?. ha, ha. I think i’m dateless for a society wedding next Saturday aft as well. Very exclusive i here David Cronenburgs going. service is short party is long… gotta
    get me some bud.

  23. Sorry its this Saturday aft. I was just flipping thru the TIFF program, seems buddy and his wife are in the 250-500 thousand dollar donor list. I think he just donated a half mil in art to the festival centre as well. its a short list this year for the big bucks.

  26. whenever i wear my tube flops (which is almost daily), i get SO many hosers staring at my feet as i pass. at first i was all prideful like “yeah that’s right, they’re unique, and you don’t got ‘em. jealous eh” and now i’m just annoyed that people have the nerve to stare at people who wear cooler clothes than they do. stop your fricken staring and buy a pair already!!! argh!

    anyway, fanks for the fashspiration.
    xxx

  29. Not a dentist, but a hygienist. I freaking love picking shit off people’s teeth. I have a picking obsession, so I say do it. But I’m kinda gross like that.

    Thanks for giving me an excuse to comment. You can do no wrong in my eyes Raymi, I’m always shocked to read all the hate mail you get. You’re chill, smart, gorgeous, with a wicked sense of humour. People are just flat out jealous.

  31. I stared at the tube socks on here because I thought they were cute shoe/boots and I was trying to figure out how they worked, some people have a mean stare face I know I do, it’s hard to relax the face when the brain is trying to figure shit out.

  33. Hahaha a phone booth, please please please tell me it was still fitted with a rotary dial and never changed over. Our kids will think cellphones are retarded, they IMPLANT their phones, are never without it, never out of range, but upgrades always leave a scar…

    Northern masturbating spider? Here are more spiders of Canada’s wilderness:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

  34. Also not a dentist, but a dental assistant, you shouldn’t go more than a day without brushing your teeth. Plaque starts forming 5 mins after you brush your teeth, add in all the natural sugars and acid from the food you eat and the ph balance in your mouth is fucked. That white clumpy plaque can form on your teeth within 24 hours……… ewww.

  35. I’m not a dentist either but I read the back of the box on those Crest white strip things, and it says they work best on unbrushed teeth. So if you bring those to a cottage, you’ll have nasty breath and rotten teeth, but at least they’ll be white.

  36. “yes. there’s a stripper pole at the cottage.”

    Hahaha I Lots of Love’d at this. Anyways, home stripper poles have jumped the bearshark anyways, right? Maybe check with the hipsters to see if that’s true?

    One time I dressed up in my (now) brother-in-law’s clothes in order to go hiking. I was so convincing as a gender-bender that my (now) husband refused to kiss me. That’s right, I can make straight guys PUKE when I gender bend! You at least looked hot. Sadface now.

    Gorgeous lake by the way. I’m staying with my in-laws in a little town in Co. Kilkenny until the husb and I find a decent apartment in Dublin. The place is gorgeous, but everyone hates a nice story, right? I am nowhere near a lake or sea. I’m near a river though! I can’t see it from here! Plus I have some pretty sweet views of ball-less bulls in the field across the road. They’re called bullock, in fact! As for masturbating spiders, I don’t think they have those in Ireland. Closest thing I saw was the family puppy trying to get it on with a wild kitten he sniffed out in a bush. Disturbing, but so cute. Yesterday I told a joke to an ex-hippie in the local pub and he doubled over laughing. Another pint later I explained to the entire pub what a mandingo is. Don’t ask. Love you. R.

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