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the dead mouths it costs to be alive

(warning nerdberts at work who freak over the n00dz here, there’s some noodz here)

I am having an upsetting day, its giving me the push I’ve never had before to tell you how much I admire you. I realize I’m going to come across as- whatever-(crazy stalker) I’ve been reading your blog since Jan 2005 and twitter since 2008 and I want to thank you for being an interesting strong beautiful role model. (Girl crush) I have great personal stories but this email isn’t for that -(I’m not a writer if you couldn’t already tell).
I guess I’m just announcing my presence after so long and thank you for sharing so much of yourself.
(And now I’m relived I got up enough courage to write to you- I’m sure my day will be better)
So much love and happy vibes


Heyyyy! Sooo don’t ask me HOW, but one day I randomly came across your blog and I gotta say – I absolutely love it. It’s kind of my new obsession. I love the way you write and how you seem to have this ‘fuck it, I don’t really care what you think about me’ attitude. Its refreshing (in a world where all people seem to do is care about is what everyone else thinks….) and admirable…I wish I could be more like that!!

I’m not originally from Toronto (from a wee little town 2 hours east of here), but have lived here for a few years and am getting sooooooooooooo insanely retardedly sick of the douchebag wannabes. I like reading your blog because you calls ‘em as you sees ‘em. :)

Also as someone else who has recently had her heart crushed, the mere idea of getting back into the dating world is enough to bring me to tears (…isn’t that supposed to be saved for the end of a terrible date? ha ha) but reading about your experiences makes me laugh (thank God I’m not the only one who gets drunk on dates :p ) and realize that life goes on and while dating may SUCKKKK, there can be a fun side of it (….and a free meal…or not, if you’ve ever been on some of the dates I have….that’s right, he asked me to SPLIT the bill. fuck)

Anyway, I was going to be a quiet little Raymi lurker, or just randomly add you to Facebook or something… but after I read you write about some of the criticism you receive from some people I thought – No, I’m gonna send a creepy little stalker message because *I don’t care what anyone thinks about me* So there.



meet tarek!

meet nella bella. ahh gad dreamy.

new gym bag. tarek chose it for me. i performed a series of back flips in my head.

he said my outfit was very chloe. my hair was a rat’s nest from the gym. he also gave me the bag i’m holding. wales bag. every bag is named after a city. how appropriate my grandpa was welsh. tarek is so peppery i love him we are going to hit the town together soon.

evening bag so so so soft. it matched my dress last night perfectly.

do you know how fucking much i love the olympus pen? every time i bring it out i’m like why don’t i do this more often??? well now i have a proper bag to protect it in. so there.

vegan. suede. vegas baby.

love the royal purple lining. purple is the colour of royalty did you know that?

don’t think i won’t be back for more.

went to ginger’s to prepare for toronto beer week launch dinner. historical shit, finally toronto is on the beer week bandwagon. who cares look how cute ging and i are.

great lighting great camera great muscles. great.

you’re gonna lose that girl.

no sex count day 4000. now it’s a thing that i made it a thing ughhhh. my friend yesterday was like why do you feel the need to even explain yourself to the world about it? probably due to all the nudey photos and assumptions based upon them. i feel the weight of the world’s judgments all the time so i’m pre-dodging it?

aging gracelessly.

i am so hung today. beer attacked me. strong beer. i never drink beer so every time that i do i am blindsided by hangover and totally shocked by it. for some reason i feel like i can beat hangovers? like i’m so special. ugh.

sort of making an attempt at modesty. why do i even bother?

trying to cover up bruises. i walked into a barbell at the gym a couple weeks ago. winner.

oh god those pics took way too long to upload i want to explode.

going away this weekend with trish and stew to gbay so so so pumped i will be very bagged tomorrow cos i’ll be working all nite and it’s a friday biggest bar night of the week come on by. also booked flight for neworfuckingleans i cannot wait. early september.

the stills are playing tonite in the distillery don’t forget that too! 7-8pm.

it’s getting chillier eh. time to partner up soon to make it through the winter.

kept shirt on at the gym this time felt way too strippery. the desk girl was nicer to me but it feels forced now. she so knows i dated that guy who has no interest in her. oh well.

i fear my thighs are getting thundery from all the biking and treadmill. gah!

cool sideways not. holding the other dress i didn’t wear. maybe i’ll wear it to work tonite i don’t care if it gets trashed it was cheap. like you.

guys go retarded for socks i don’t care how bitchy the comments of girls are about them i’m not wearing them for you, you stupid cow. go home and put your own damn socks on and see for yourself. they’re also practical i am tried of putting band-aids on my heels everyday. anyway it’s hilarious to me how many times i hear i love your socks or just simple caveman utterances SOCKS! all jock wakestocked-out.

someone corrected me that this is a nectarine not a peach.

orgasmface hahaha so unattractive.

that’s more like it.

Dana: I really hope to be like you you have no idea

Raymi Lauren White
awwwwwwww serious why?

Dana: you dont give a shit about what anyone thinks does or says. your you which is a very kickass fuckin girl which I could only hope of being friends with

Raymi Lauren White
thats flattering and very perceptive of you to notice. all chicks should be this way.

Dana : to be honest I am. I just lack the fun and the happiness and the friends and good life you have and thats what I want haha!! so bad!

Raymi Lauren White
my life in pictures makes everything seem way more glamorous than it is.

Dana McBride : doubtful you’re the fun and fantastic Raymi

Raymi Lauren White
thats true but it isnt always fun and games. it’s a charmed life for sure and i try not to take it for granted. i do crave normalcy.

Ontario Microfit

13 thoughts on “the dead mouths it costs to be alive

  1. it looks like ging is bitting into that blanket pretty hard in hopes his raging hard on will go away.

  2. pretty sure that dana mcbride chick is the same girl that smokes bowls with my friend and then proceeds to cry for hours on end

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