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this is why we blog

tuesday nite at work i peeked in here and my mind was straight BLOWN city. looked forward to going through it all evening long. anyway, ready set go.

notes and ziploc baggies galore. this was with a little tank top with an image of hands doing that stupid heart sign which resides on my left breast that a rummy up the street pointed out to me just yesterday. nice heart he said. thank you, i said.

oh so thorough.

!!!!!!!! prayers have been answered. the other shoes i bought that are so not dance shoes kill me, bought inserts for them, special heel blister band aids, a strap busted multiple times. these things are so soft and comfortable i’m gonna start wearing them around town, second skin-like.

i LOVE THESE. goes well with my punky brewster princess surf hippie look.

also kinda ballet. oh the sneers from other chicks, the double takes and the dudes dig them. sorry but yeah, not sorry.

such a good name too. have to be careful putting them on though, i dunno about you but i can be a bit of a spazz. i foresee a busted ankle if i don’t take my time yanking them up. you know when you throw on a pair of torn at the knee jeans really fast to answer the door or something then you put your foot through the knee hole and completely rip the pant leg right off and now you have shorts? that kinda careful. this just in BE CAREFUL GUYS.

um, DUH.

i like that all these shirts he sent are teeny tiny.

like this guy, it’s an xs. looks bigger obvs. so skin tight. saved my ass tuesday nite sweat factory at work. i wish we could just wear bikini tops there while working in the heat.

this made me so nostalgic. i had a red gallaz skate shirt i wore all the time when i was 20. i have a hard on for red.

pretty much all of these have been consumed. except for the pills (chromax), which i’m taking daily. melodie says they’ll help with my sugar cravings, blood sugar. hopefully. the nuun stuff i threw into a rum drink last nite. radmad always mixed booze with electrolytes out on the town, helps counter-act/prevent some of your hangover.

basically gatorade?

oh fuck you hahahahahhaa.

perfect. pill me up batman.

i was just thinking the other day i should start running (from what?) but these will also be great for dance rehearsal.

so now at this point i’m thinking there’s going to be money in the ass pocket…

nope, just an ass pocket. holy greedy i know right. i am an animal. he started it man.

how is this supposed to help my dieting ways? i ate a few and gave the box to brosz7.

i was like i hate mint chocolate ever since i shoved a junior mint up my nose as i was stuffing several of these into my mouth. guess what, i am full of shit.

do we have the white coconut one in canada? that thing is so gone. straight inhaled it, maybe only half, shared it with lucas and mel and brosz7. when something is so good you should always share it but only if you’re uncertain as to when you can get your hands on it again. as for the orange chocolate bar, i gave it to melodie. sorry sports fans, not into that mixture and i’m good with mixing every flavour under the sun.

i gave this to melodie.

good point. i’ll get it back off her in five years then.

i’ll give it a whirl. the sex wax confused me. smells amazing. i think this entire package is just a giant come to los angeles manipulation. clever.

this spazzed me right out yesterday morning. had prior to coffee. i’m going to keep some in my purse for road vodkas and then i’ll climb some power lines and get thrown in the drunk tank.

there is nothing more horribly offensively boring in this world than golf. sorry. i will not humour listening to any man talk about it. unless i’m there sitting in the cart drinking a beer, no way dude. golf was invented as a means for men to ignore women and then bore us to death. fuck off then go golfing for the day you giant baby then you come home all exhausted and drunk. golf and car washing, women avoiding activities. anyway, this pilot still texts me. two years younger, dangles free flights my way. fine. make one happen, then we’ll talk.

this thing looks adorable on me and it fits so well, very tiny. i think running clothes are so obnoxious and pretentious and nerdy. since they decided to make exercise sexy, i dunno. it’s such an unnecessary extra to buy jogging attire, like you have all these clothes already you make everyone else feel like they’re wearing rags when you run on by in a two hundred dollar breathable gortex vortex whatever the hell these things are made of jackets. i love it and i hate it but most importantly i am not a fucking geek. also, running is free yet i can’t afford to run cos i don’t have the extra disposable income to buy fancy pants with fancy pockets for my fancy stupid water jug or the mini-water bottles or the belt for the mini-grenades water bottles what is this ‘nam? you look like a goof, stop it please. i think it irritates me most to see joggers in packs. like oakville joggers, running room joggers. i severely hate followers, that’s the issue here. i have no respect for that and you can easily sniff them out from the ones who are jogging for themselves, there’s the runners who are addicted to it and then there’s the desperate needy clingy runners who are literally running to fit in. hilarious.

last nite mer and i went to a party at 720 bathurst, pre-renovation annex wasp nerd white people party it was incredible. hoola hoops. some guy on one of those scooters that fold up over your shoulder dressed like a gypsy. the music was pretty awful but good awful. you know it’s an older crowd when you hear disco and shit from the 90’s. it was pretty great to see all these people i recognize from the past five years of my life living in the annex all in one room. when nerds go wild. it was sweltering in there too. i danced ghetto and got a few dance fans out of it. thanks taras and joshua for getting us on the list. the tickets were sold out.

then we went to pauper’s roof patio to inhale some food and check out university boys and a guy from the dating site showed up i am SO GLAD i brought meredith, holy fucking misrepresentation city. he’s wearing a jersey, kinda looks nothing like his photos at all. one of the first things he says is he gets kicked out of the skydome for having a mickey on him. colour me unimpressed. but only because he got busted, what an ignoramus. also, meredith works there so it’s extra funny he got all into her like she gives a fuck about stadium attendance. he had a friend with him too who totally got that i was psychotically irritated. then jersey wearing moron mentions hooters wings and i said wow, drunk all day, kicked out of the game, hooters, so many pluses going on here! i was shoveling wings into my mouth the entire time which means, fuck off, basically. poor sod. he was nice enough but yeah, crossing a line through that name for sure. he asked ten times what we had been doing that nite and on the tenth time i snapped DUDE I ALREADY TOLD YOU WE WERE AT A PARTY AROUND THE CORNER. i was pissed he ate up our hour before last call, cock blocking us like mad and being a giant loser.

meredith and i are great wingmen. im blond and tall and flat. she’s chesty ginger and small. it’s like, what spice girl do they like. come for the blond, stay for the red and vise versa. i wish she didn’t have to work today. i also wish steph and sass were here. i also wish i had a lot of money and a yacht and a nice house in the country with a fire pit. ok fine bye.

ps. it’s not that i’m striking out bad, i’m just really picky now. a guy can meet all my criteria just fine but then he’ll do or say something or have a way about him that just makes my skin crawl.

15 thoughts on “this is why we blog

  1. I so wish someone would send me a giant box of awesome. It should be like Secret Santa, people in different cities sending boxes of sensational to each other. Let’s hook this up. Also, Sex Wax is for waxing surfboards, thought you should know before you use it for um…sex.

  2. ya, dating sites…..seems like every guy that’s on the one i’m on has one majorly irritating thing about him. like, i hate how a guy will read your entire profile and then cyber-stalk all the things you like (art, obscure literature and movies etc) and then pretend like he likes all the same shit. i fucking know when you’re lying you losers!!! and my fav has to be those guys who like to throw in the odd sexual inuendo comment on the first meeting (desperate much?!)

    but out of all the shitters i’ve come across, there is one guy who i’ve gone on 3 dates with. he’s really funny and nice and always wants to pay, but not in an obnoxious way. but…i don’t think i’m attracted to him. at all.

    well, anyways, good luck with yours. hopefully you meet some winners.

  3. Ummmmm can you send this guy my email address?? I live in LA and I am ALSO ADORABLE! DANG.

    No really, DANNNNNGGGG tell this guy to send you a plane ticket and you can stay at my place in case he’s creepy.

  4. they are called skorts. i used to be a running expert at the aforementioned cult/store. really it just made me hate running forever. “running culture” is a running joke with some of my former coworkers.

  5. I run with my jean shorts and mark’s old tshirt and ugly huge shoes from VV, I’m practically invisible, just as you should be when you’re huffing and sweating all redface down a busy street, duh!

  6. “Drink BRAWNDO! It’s got electrolytes!” –IDIOCRACY. Hahaha to a chemist, mentioning a product’s got electrolytes is so meaningless. In other news, water may make you feel less thirsty.
    The best chocolates are Garoto chocolates from Brazil. Saw them in a grocery-store bulk bin years ago, and now they are imprisoned in those overpriced Tutti Fruiti shops. Guess they didn’t make bail…

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