casie claims to not have known that i bought these shoes and i call mad bullshit on that despite how much the woman doth protest. you saw my UO tweet about the shit i had coming in so how could you have missed the incoming aldo shoes tweet? heheheh. whatever, i am not one of those only i can own it types. in fact, i heartily welcome uniformity. twins are hot. fact. go to redtube, type in twins. you’re welcome. if you go out dressed alike you get more dudes cruising you because you gave them a means to get over the insecurity shyness barrier: matching outfits. now they can approach you and say something unclever about being sisters.

i thought i was stronger, or she lighter. man i am just full of compliments today.

haha ahah hey remember when i tried to carry you ahuhuhhaha yeah that was funny.

do you remember what i was saying here?

oh who cares.

requisite blogger photo. sean, keri, carly, breanna, CASIE DUH, and crystal.

lady blogga loves it when i make fun of her. she’s pretty quick, but i nail her every time. the more challenged i am socially the more i fucking bring it. nothing personal. casie was making a point of (way too many times) informing me that apparently there is some sort of rival between us? um, i don’t even think we’re comparable. we’ll address it another day. i mean, if you want a rival, we can script one a la paris/ritchie. also, lady blogga theme party?

went meta a few times. oh look it’s me looking at me looking at me. cool party. no seriously it was i showed up late and i’d like to think everyone was half in the bag already. not breanna though, she’s cleansing (pussy).

adorable. her twitter thumbnail is FULLY to blame (thank) for me going back to bang’s land.

so many silent lurkers last nite. you guys are annoying.

i am so glad to be back in the city i cannot even tell you. i am very happy i’m so far west too so i can just saunter down to the beach by lakeshore. what’s the name for it?

oh what a spread, who’s the culinary expert?

time to get down to business.

BUT I AM SUCKING IT IN.

didn’t bring my camera down to the pool/tub area as i knew it would be underwater in seconds. oh well.

some people were actually interested in the oscars.

casie’s roommate sabrina did this. stealing the idea!

after swimming inhaled these. i am so bloated right now i want to go into hiding but i can’t, covering for kamila for a few hours. why not it’s gorgeous out i should go be somebody today.

caring is the new failure.

My Toronto: Raymi the Minx. The post piece came out. before the entire city hates me i am not doggin’ on wrongbar and no not everyone in parkdale is angry about another scenester bar opening up. i was getting at the whole gentrification thing, more bars, more businesses, more people equals rent increase. like what happened to williamsburg. though all-in-all yay, go me.

i ripped this other pic the photog (brett) posted on his blog.

last nite at casie’s was sooooooooo fun. oscars (snore) ignore-fest, hot tub pool condo jam pizza party. we livestreamed a ton of it. if you were watching and if i said or did anything stupid (never) or insulting (as if) or noteworthy, do remind me. pics of that shit show coming momentarily.

it’s so glorious out i may leave my cave at some point to enjoy it. must tune up the bikes.

oh and ps. if anyone out there is wanting to give me something (no junk please) under the category of FREE for me to influentially insert into my life (plug here) get at me: raymi@raymitheminx.com while the gettin’s good. i will show you my stats.

weekly:

# 26682 Visits
# 46391 Pageviews

monthly:

# 102025 Visits
# 200451 Pageviews

and these numbers climb throughout the day, and week, peak-day being thursday. i have no idea how to interpret the charts but here:

let me tell you. there isn’t one blogger i know, moving in the circles i slightly move in (avoid) in this city, who’s traffic remotely touches the amount i pull in, and yet, they are showered in the merch. advertisers, you are missing out. the amount of traffic i receive in SIX HOURS is triple what the average social media blogger gets in a day. just a sprinkling of just sayin’ here.

don’t misinterpret me, i’m not hating on my fellow comrades, i’m hating on whatever anti-advertising-poon stench i seem to be emanating.

ps. yes i look hella tired in the post photos. cos, i was, and also pretty malnourished and stressed that week.

ahh just one-ah ‘dem days. late for blog hot tub roof sun party, it was a late one last nite. hopefully the last for awhile. i plan to detox this week. for the billionth time i’m behind i’m behind. the sunny weather is to blame. now here i am painting my toes singing my gorgeous little heart out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y-kmFgggNk

this thing makes my body look a little weird. maybe i can shrink it.

and by weird i mean STACKED.

should i even bother with makeup today?

somewhat preserved from last nite but only if i am standing in a sunbeam. if in shadow, you do not want to see this business.

olympia.

nice little crotchety bulge area.

this facial expression is getting under my skin big time. it’s so, beachy?

arrogant.

prick.

hmmph.

six in the morning looks like this.

melodie has indulged my penchant for little things, she made me this mini origami shirt out of a gum wrapper.

i’m finding glow in the dark stars in the most absurd of places. some randomly fall from the ceiling here and there. i am an adult.

hi lucas.

from sadie’s. mmmmm. yesterday i was a garbage disposal, consuming non-stop.

bye for now friendsbians.

click here to buy tickets to our blog talk seminar party social media barf explosion. want to know how i became the unstoppable dickhead i am today? want to see and hear me bulldoze through some motivational if i can do it you can do it jargon? tell your employer to send you to this thing, they’ll cover the tickets. how many boomer generationers KNOW social media is the future (today) but don’t know what the fuck it is or how to navigate through it? it’s like learning to attach something in email but ten times more elusive to them. we’ll hold your hands through it. or just think of it as a bender. that’s how i do.

eventually you’re gonna have to get over yourselves and the whole blog stigma, more so, the raymi blog stigma. cos i know you wanna be friends, and i’m pretty friendly so…

i’ll be wearing this beauty tonite.

this is from an ex-bf.

Hey lauren,
Hope you are doing well.
I am currently in thailand and i was in the internet cafe today, and
someone was surfing your site.
just thought i would pass on the info that you are popular in S.E
asia. (where arent you popular?)

Take care.

a serious fake chat. taken seriously.

hawha so lusty. next time when i tell you to meet me at ronnie’s, leave the campfire hoodie at home. thank you sean.

i am in this book. (no i’m not).

word. and wouldn’t you know which aunt arrived yesterday?

number one party buzzkill: being taken aside and informed of a suspicious looking device in the men’s urinal, with buttons, a contraption of sorts and an exposed canister. it was our air freshener thing but still turning your head ’round the corner when you’re expecting to see a bomb then you see something that fully looks like a bomb, ack! i almost ran right the fuck out of there down the street. it was funny that the guy who told me was super cute and i was enjoying checking him out all nite only to realise he wasn’t straight, dancing hotly with his bf, i get over him just in time for him to bomb scare me. awesome.

this just in: i am limber.

raymiing up the place.

so many friends came in last nite to see old raymi. like a revolving door of past, present, and future. i love you guys. another friday in the pan oh man, best one yet i’d say. got cut early and stuck around to get plastered, first time as a patron. so fun. so fucking unbelievably fun. girl to guy ratio was like a billion to one. pretty much guaranteed to go lesbo by month’s end no avoiding. speaking of, we’re going to have a party for my birthday at the central and you are invited. bring your dancing shoes. i was apprehensive about having a party and being sad no one would come, or care. i have no expectations cos they never get met. no one ever plans me a party or a surprise one because they assume i have all these contacts i’m hoarding that they can’t get to, to invite? yeah nice excuse and you can’t very well plan your own surprise party. SIGH. also i’m too old to be whining about this shit now anyway. so i was planning to say nothing then be futuristically pissed off and bitter holding out for some last minute something that will never fucking happen OR maybe just go away for a week. whatever. there it is. what should i do?

casie took this one.

Hello Hello, my name is Jason B, Im a fourth year anthropology student at
York University. And I have two issues to discuss…

Your Friendly Neighborhood Anthropologist, Jason B

Totally down. My insight will make your project and you also just reminded me to contact high times.

old friend steve-o in town for work hooks his ass up with a penthouse suite at the castle, fuck yeah on my way over before the ice even has a chance to sweat.

brace yourselves to be bored vicariously via tedious photos and desperate captions.

i know steve through that guy i used to get with. haven’t seen steve since before the breakup heard ’round the world. feels like yesterday, feels like forever.

we hired a hooker.

if this is a penthouse suite then what the crap do the normal rooms look like?

lady gaga making us nervous. brit awards were on last nite. everyone was on drugs!

i was going to order pizza pizza then i realised duhh i’m in a hotel.

never impressed by hotel food. it’s like after they make it they send it through a make it shittier contraption on its way up to you.

be careful now you might have fun.

i got’cher fun right here.

look how pacified i am i miss tv so much. do you like my new hat? i should wear it to kilgour’s they’re habs fans over there.

fil is smiling because meredith said she told her mom a street joke he blogged. street jokes are what comedians refer to commoner’s jokes by that ‘oft get retold. what arrogant little tits eh? here’s a street joke, it’s me braining you.

no tip, you left your shirt on.

dreamer eyelashes. lady gaga made me state that if i were to ever host a raymi party with hired good looking chicks milling about for some reason, i’d make them have white feather eyelashes.

bad subject, good lighting.

was into the light square reflection in my pupils though i’m into everything so what else is new? nothing.

aaaaaaah-dorable oh shut up over there.

two can play at this.

man gossip is loads gayer than girl gossip and by gayer i mean boring and by boring i mean heard this story ten times already.

i’m so fucking fat right now. no really, my period is super duper late. i think it’s trying to align with all the new bitches’s in my life, my insane sleep schedule, perpetual stress and awful diet. i even took a preggo test yesterday to be sure and boy what fun those three waiting minutes were. i think it might be time to finally swap out my iud for a new one before i become infertile or lose my period forever?

yoga time.

forget what this one’s called, haven’t wii fitted in awhile. the spine stretching blood rush to head black out inducing no dignity neck paralyzer?

time for obliques. it’s the plank. well it was until some asshole decided to slam me into the bed. that wasn’t supposed to come off as sexy as it just did.

hold this for as long as possible. both sides. a good thirty seconds per is fine. don’t do it on a soft bed cloud though you’ll just crumple into it.

try for twenty seconds then you wimp.

beatrix potter clock awwwwww.

subtle refill motivator.

trying to scare fat americans into starvation. can you follow it up with something on uggs and crocs and jogging pants please?

you’ve aged well.

party down.

time to go go.

oh stop it liars you love the attention. you are full of bull shit covered in dog shit wrapped in horse shit rolled in elephant dung etc etc and so on.

and see, what we have here is honesty. refreshing, ain’t it.

bye bye thanks for making me feel poor and for making meredith feel like pretty woman. then we went to 7-11 for taquitos (bad new intro to uh oh) candy and chips, inhaled everything over a brew at the done right then called her a nite.

lamer pics what didn’t make the cut can be found here.

in case you didn’t know what cold lampin‘ looked like, this is fuckin’ it! remember who brung you the cool. not anyone other than me. “To just chill out and relax usually sittin on a nice fat blunt. I’m lampin’ in the Hamptons like, “What the fuck is a hammock?” – Lil Wayne”

now here’s a close-up for the people in the back.

alright, enough of that.

this is what an anxiety attack looks like. striking.

great biz pow wow lunch after i already ate lunch. proof of how single i am, me and my valentines chocolates about twenty days after the fact. oh shopper’s discount rack how you make a fool outta me.

lube run!

why you gotta take triple A batteries? annoying. no buy.

cute buy for me. one sticker for my laptop and one for the kitchen door at work. new journal to remind myself to write more often.

shhhquiet something cute is about to happen.

now again, not done.

i woulda got into it more if everybody wasn’t being all conservatively judgy over there jesus. you work in condom shack, you have a fucking stripper pole. way to be encouraging.

thanks you too.

really what you should be defending is how much of a hard-on you are.

i have so many feelings right now look at me gooooooo.

and now i will continue work on my postsecret ripping opus. just checking in making sure you don’t forgets me.

the only thing old about this is you.

hello good day just a few things i wanted to discuss with you.

one, i ate a hard boiled egg in bed yesterday because my life is like the movie amalie.

i feel like a hard boiled egg on your bedside table is probably the most adorable thing in the world. prior to it i had tapioca pudding. i know, sorry for breaking your heart.

and when you’re a gorgeous shit for brains, well, you can pretty much do anything you want.

melodie’s midterm is finally over we celebrated last nite at ronnie’s.

then i baked a cake.

have you guys seen this video yet?

now read the following!

Heya,

Short and sweet. Unfamiliar Records 5th Anniversary Party is this Friday, March 5th.

It’s kind of a weird spot called Cryptic Canvas hidden behind a building off of King & Portland, should be fun.

Just in case here is a google map link so you can see how to get there: http://bit.ly/cPJdsX

This is our only show until the EP release party, which will be mid/late May.

Unfamiliar Records 5th Year Anniversary Showcase

Friday, March 5th
Makeout Videotape (Vancouver)
RatTail
Stop Die Resuscitate
The Two Koreas
DJ Mikey Apples

$5 – 8 Waterloo Terrace (Cryptic Canvas – King/ Bathurst behind Living Lighting on King)

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=302357857890&ref=ts

Hope to see you there,

Lucas PUCAS.

ok bye now i have to clean the jizz out of my bangs and go meet casie sean and carly to discuss our blog seminar thinger. though i don’t really know what to discuss aside from ok when am i on and how long do you need me to say a lot of nothing for? just kidding i’m jazzed. and drunk still.