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oh darling you’re a million ways to be cruel

cunts. that’s sheldon aka 40deuce. more like douche. can you believe he had never heard of me before? well, wait he was lying about that though what i’ve been realising is how funneled social media is, narrow-scope a little, small circles. blogs came first, remember where you came from dickholes. twitter is for nerrrrrrds. sure you’re big on twitter but who are you again? you can’t make your brand 140 characters at a time 22,000 tweets a year. you have to be a somebody first. you have to be a me. uh duh.

i deleted a fifteen minute video of my dictatorship to make room for a video of me drumming to aerosmith last nite. my priorities are totally straight.

this photo is a classic example of what it is like dealing with casie while our mother hen carly takes care of business hahahahha. the matching shoes make me laugh.

there are billions of photos of us talking in this manner and what would appear to be posed-kiss photos cos of it. casie has ADD and i have zero patience and many things to say. we have to hold on tightly and scream in each other’s faces to compete for airspace. it is highly irritating and entertaining. exhausting. the raymi casie show would make you blow your fucking brains out. good tv!

sometimes you just gotta drum it out. terribly.

kam is my girl. i am going to bawl like a little wiener when she goes to germany. well at least i’ll have a reason to go to germany now. i do have a crazy old friend who resides in berlin still i think.

noel and kristin‘s head bottom left corner.

dazzle camouflage.

cute chicks.

this is the no big deal pose.

this flickr order urrrrrg. sean had a slide show presentation. he was on it. here’s his wrap-up post where he cries like a little girl over how overjoyed he (rightly so) is by the overwhelmingly positive response the nite received.

never too shy to whatever in front of a room. just don’t look at them. not the whole picture them naked thing, just, don’t picture them period.

all i can think about when i look at these pictures is JUMPER. melodie says i should have gone for size zero. anorexia enabler!

had a few good one liners last nite. modesty will get you nowhere. i’ll just type it all out or post the thing i printed and completely ignored. i am not a good public speaker anymore, way more cerebral and neurotic. i was under and over-prepared. i was the artist between the two social media expert bookends. sean and casie were impressive. though i was the only guy to actually offer up what my stats were so… heheh. can’t wait for the next pow wow. basically i’m just the dancing monkey.

the veg burg is INCREDIBLE. holy fucking shit. veg tards, wow. you have to have this.

i can’t even keep up with my own shit anymore. so overwhelmed. i’m taking the weekend off, first fri/sat off since i started working at the central (i need to kick this cold, march is always busy for me). hanging with jenny beth tomorrow nite. can i wear my jumper again so soon? so excited. jenny says living for your blog is so 2009 hahaha re: my worrying over wearing it again so soon and having pics of it all over again, she’s right. have britt’s birthday dinner tonite then a housewarming party of alicia‘s and i am NOT getting gong-showed otherwise i am going to sound like lindsay lohan forever and look like sofia coppola. who i think is beautiful and so inspiring. lately i’ve been getting blake lively a lot. i went to everyone at work and bragged about it. big deal, no one even knows who she fucking is so that killed that one pretty fast. seriously? i don’t see it.

here’s my blurb i didn’t say. if i had a microphone i woulda been more smooth. i was myself. whatever. next time i’ll not leave everything to the last minute (yeah right). this was supposed to be my little intro, i did touch on some of this i think. next post i’ll blast up my one liners which have been retweeted many times over.

I always secretly wanted to be famous but i never really told anyone this as i felt it would be frowned upon. i’d be told to have another dream. when you’re asked what you want to be when you grow up you usually say what your parents want you to be, or you have some far-fetched vision for yourself. my dream was famous writer actress model art legend. blogging didn’t exist when i was a little kid but i knew that the fame i desired would spurn from more than just writing, more than just acting.

i knew i had a big personality and would be famous for it one day. i’m a talker, i get that from my dad, and mom. one’s a great storyteller and the other won’t ever shut up. i love to fill silences with non-sequitors, little anecdotes of something that just happened to me, i like to relate to people, i like them to feel at ease. i’m sure most times i am wrongly interpreting the silent person at the party as being shy and awkward but still, i want to include everybody and so the easiest way to do that is to hold everybody in the room hostage with a story. there’s the right way to do this (my way) and the wrong way being obnoxious. so half of my life is devoted to filling it up with social activities, walking about taking photos, dinners, whathaveyou, then storytelling it on my blog.

i also “suffer” from depression and i know many others do too. i’m showing people that you can fight it, it is possible, and it doesn’t have to consume you. sure i have my agoraphobic sad days here and there, but i make a point to show a brave front, for myself most of all, but for others as well. i do get a bad rep for being a meaner which sucks, i did this to myself. i believe in second chances. people need to stop seeing me as a villain. they don’t need to, they’re just wrong if they keep looking at me in that vein.

i knew it wouldnt happen over nite but i kept at it because i loved it and i quickly amassed readers which in turn motivated me to keep at it and blog more. in 2002 when blogging received its first wave of popularity i was ahead of the curve, the toronto black sheep. the only female exhibitionist. i was an online model at the time, basically, working in the sex industry and i was hiding that from my blog because my mom read it. working in an environment that is so laissez-faire about sex inspired me to cut loose on my blog, and that i did and continue to do so now. everybody does it in some shape or form today on the internet, it isn’t a big deal, but then it was and in a certain way still creates a stir because as liberal and cool as toronto claims to be, it’s still pretty conservative. so much hypocrisy fills our streets and scenester bars.

so lets say you follow my methods. live your life. be interesting. engaging. compelling. honest. content overload. become somewhat of a character, endear yourselves to people and bingo, you have them hooked. now they’re hooked and it gets to a point where it doesn’t matter what you blog, it matters THAT you blog period. this is the stage i’m at now. i am now no longer a real person. doesn’t matter, just pointing it out. so this personality people become addicted to, whether they love it or hate it, they are still watching. then guess what, this person leaves their fiance and finally breaks silence about it. i call this scandalizing yourself. if you want to be famous on the internet you have to give a little more. insider info. you’re the only one who has this information so they’re looking to you for it. so give it. give what you are comfortable giving then push it slightly further. don’t be afraid. a lot of people stop themselves from “saying it” because they’re worried about backlash. backlash can be good if you can handle it. not everyone can, but, if you’re here to be famous on the internet then we’re assuming you have a thick skin.

basically you have to BE a personality. BE personable. develop your persona, MASTER it. not everyone has to have the same persona, what works for you, works for you.

be funny and playful, be mean sometimes, but balance it with nice and being genuine. people dont want to be barked at all the time. we GET it you’re TELLING IT LIKE IT IS jesus please just shut up already.

and that’s as far as i got before i hit the salon and then everything was just point form dictation in my adorable journal.

chris brooker blogged the event. so did romi.

23 thoughts on “oh darling you’re a million ways to be cruel

  1. twitter is a two-way conversation. forms relationships.
    a blog is a one way conversation. a soapbox.
    different strokes for different folks, each accomplishes different things.

    I wish I could have made it last night, but my liver shot me in the face.

  2. breanna im oldschool. that’s just how i do. i love twitter and i hate twitter. i always said if my blog needs a blog shoot me. eating it. meh.

    rob, sean took it with my camera and yes you can use it. nice pants.

  3. I’m the girl who blurted out “I looove you” when you were passing out your handouts last night. Um, yah. Sorry about that?

    Either way, you were awesome.

  4. wow!
    I never said I hadn’t heard of you, Casie says your name all the time.
    I just said never seen your blog… before today

    and kenneth, I don’t like you either, so we’re even


  5. Aw I’m a cute girl!

    Thanks for the awesome talk last night/ the pic of me / the linkage

    Hope your canvas shoes are more comfortable now

  6. blog, twitter, facebook, youtube tumblr, doesn’t matter. they’re all just tools, depends what you’re selling.

    last night was really fun. lets start that TV show soon please. we’ve mentioned making vids so many times :)

  7. love the jump shot and also love the rocking of + brown… can’t get enough black +brown

  8. this whole bit makes me wish i’d gone. i actually did buy a ticket, then ended up sleeping through the event as the night before i stayed awake talking to auckland. so, it was kinda maddening when i woke up it was 6.30 and i said, “oh fuck it!” (i didn’t want to risk the awkwardness of being late on top of the awkwardness of being there alone.) the things i do for social convention…

  9. Ha, ha! I’m sure glad I have a place to retreat to at 2:00 a.m. EST and take a break from being fretlessbass in the CNN chatrooms. No, really I’m going to bed now. Speaking of retreat…

    I think you guys should do a blog camp… deep in mountainous woods, replete with separate girls and boys cabins and canoes and campfires and artsandcrafts and archery… some kinda wifi mountain bonanza… lasts a couple of weeks and everyone arrives by yellow school bus… DDDDUUUUUUUDDDEEE

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