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every girl i’ve ever had

hi raymi,

it’s me, again, sofia. i don’t mean to bug you. i know that you likely get many e-mails from people looking for excuses to e-mail you, but even though admittedly it’s partially that, it’s a connection i’ve been feeling with your posts lately. and yeah, i know you probably get that misidentification too. people who are nothing like you claiming to connect with you, and being repulsed by that connection. (speculating, borderline presumptive.)

i used to write a really frank blog that had a large audience, but nowhere near being written up in the paper levels of notoriety. and that armchair psycho-analyzing was common. annoying, a dime a dozen. you’ve covered this. it was funny how common it is that people assume that everything you present is access to the inner you. i think when my blog had zero audience, that might have been partially true, but that is painful when you have shit-for-brains commenters spitting on your heart every day, or phonies who think they identify with you (me!).

people take your public vulnerability for granted. they’re invited to make judgments because of the format. and everyone is shouting to be heard in the mess of voices that populate the cyberwebz. it’s sometimes hurtful, but mostly just annoying. this e-mail isn’t telling you anything new, just that you do have thousands of silent readers who connect with what you say and write, and on a sensical, meaningful level, one of them, me, up until recently-ish, i guess (reading since 2004 or 2003, whenever matt good started linking to you).


13 thoughts on “every girl i’ve ever had

  1. that was in that episode of Married with Children. “hmm hmm Him”

    that is like my all time favorite episode of that show hahaha

    Al hears some song on an oldies station on the radio but the DJ doesn’t say the name. So he like goes to an oldies record store and sings some of it and does all this stuff to try and find it. I think this is the song.

  2. I was introduced to you through Matt, that bitchin’ ass. I read both of your blogs, yours to stay grounded and meaningful, his to understand and weep for the world. Pretty much you both, if you were on the same website, would cover the basics and overwhelming beauty of humanity. Yet, it is only you, and the people such as yourself, and him, and others, which want to make a fucking difference. But do you know how many don’t give a shit? How many don’t even understand? Raymi, Lauren, I have asked all my friends, and most of them do not understand my question. How do you think we are going to go? What is going to call us back? Will we live to see our sixties? (If we do, I’m going to try heroin, uh uh yea yea), haha whatever else is on the market. But until then, I would like to become a journalist or humanitarian. Or a bum, if i fuck up. What is your dream job/ goal in life

  3. ‘chains,”boys,’ + ‘twist & shout’ are all covers that the beatles did well and made more famous than the author. ‘you better move on’ may be arthur alexander’s second most-famous song. the stones did it. pearl jam covered ‘soldier of love.’ if you like this stuff, also try jimmy rogers, jimmy reed and the other early chess record label artists. you can listen to nothing but 50s & 60s r&b on paul ray’s ‘twine time’ at every sat. nite 7 – 11p cst.

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