free hit counter

snowshoes and hunters

meredith was enchanted by melodie’s vitamin 101ing me in the kitchen and said we should recreate it so this farty barely-audible awkward clip is awkward for reasons. i was having anxiety this day, lack of sleep, can’t remember what was bugging me, and i didn’t have much time to fuck around before work so here i am putting back 8 pills at once with a grolsch. i make a stupid http joke ughhh i wish i could control the stupid things that come out of my mouth.

i’d just like to jay and silent bob a motherfucker sometime, from the bottom of my cold black heart, i mean that. i’d like to know who the giant loser is who one-stars all my videos before i even blog them. cool life guy. nah it’s probably an ugly girl but it’s not like my videos are cannes-worthy or anything here, get real. i’m trying to wrap my head around what it’s like being a net lurking hater. do you know what it feels like having to deal with little penises at your heels every fucking day? i’m good for weeks and weeks but once i hit pre-menstrualtown you all start looking like violent strangle fantasies of mine. not you all the OTHER you all.

oh here’s a way to describe it. every time i sit down here i know i’m writing to two sets of people split right down the middle. one half really digs me, the other half does not. so i’m like trying to play into that every post i post, which is why i cop this snarky defensive back is up tone quite often. i have to stop that. it isn’t healthy. this is what the internet does to you. i’m not complaining i know i KNOW it comes with the territory but i’ve said this before, just because you can do something, access people, harrass the shit out of them, doesn’t mean you should. you shouldn’t stop being a human, being normal, because an invisibility cloak is doled-out with every fucking modem.

the worst part is, the little skeeve who leaves the shit comment, one-stars my shit, whatever, is getting a huge thrill off all this negative attention too, like right now they’re psychotically cracking their knuckles staring into the monitor, grinning like the grinch, masturbating with onion skins. sickitating. so you can’t win if you make fun of them and you cant win if you let it go because they still “got to you” in some way. however, they’re nothing special, at all. which is why they do what they do. they’re nameless faceless spineless little wieners who just want some recognition and nothing they do is original. sorry guy there’s more where you came from. my favourite brand of hater is the one who puts some effort into it, knows why i suck and the reasons why i do not suck, and is not just jumping on the bandwagon for company. this type is, while borderline insane, rather intelligent, self-aware, misguided, deluded, and hurting for some reason. i become their punching bag as i am a force and they feel obliged to reckon with me all the way.

one more thing about my videos, some people don’t “get” them and have expressed this to me in the past. why did i film myself putting on makeup for 5 minutes, it doesn’t go anywhere. it doesn’t matter what the video is of, the point of it is that it exists period. we’re all islands out here, some people live in total isolation and therefore appreciate a little vapid vignette now and again. someone, somewhere, will watch it and like it. i’m doing a fucking service here.

alright i’m exhausted by this now, did i tell you guys i tinted my eyebrows? 26 going on a 46 year old orange county cougar xoxo.

How do you feel about Raymi?
I love Raymi.
I hate Raymi.
Ambivalent. Just cruising by non-comittal-like.
Free polls from

48 thoughts on “snowshoes and hunters

  1. yeah you’ve mentioned this before. funny how some seemingly ambivalent about me person cannot shut the fuck up about it.

    here’s your raymi chart. you most recently “loved” me back in october, then felt it necessary to inform my blog that you “were not feeling it anymore” mid-december. then you try to instigate with a phil comment so you reveal yourself as a little troll-like in nature. you lurk and wait for your chance to let me know how underwhelmed you are by all this. if you don’t feel it so much E then why in the fuck are you so obsessed?


    Yay! I love Phil

    From suburban reflections, 2010/01/29 at 2:28 PM
    2010/01/29 Approve | Unapprove | Spam | Delete


    damn, just not feeling it anymore.

    From this is my favourite christmas house, 2009/12/18 at 6:54 PM
    2009/12/18 Approve | Unapprove | Spam | Delete


    oh fuck. that stupid song is stuck in my head now. it blows no matter who sings it

    From she came she saw she ghetto now, 2009/10/27 at 5:30 PM
    2009/10/27 Approve | Unapprove | Spam | Delete



    From raymi tribute, 2009/10/13 at 2:48 PM
    2009/10/13 Approve | Unapprove | Spam | Delete

    big e

    Hey Raymi,
    if you have an eating disorder..well shit, i do too. there are just some of us who have our priorities straight. You are smokin hot now, you were smokin hot before. fuck em.

    From does raymi have an eating disorder?, 2009/03/13 at 4:40 PM
    2009/03/13 Approve | Unapprove | Spam | Delete

    big e

    damnit woman! i love you!

    From GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK, 2008/12/19 at 7:12 PM

  2. i voted that i love you, but love feels too strong, i think you are great and your blog interests me enough for me to check out.

    also, in the spirit of balance, i will now 5-star all of your future videos as a shithead cancellation effort.

  3. wow i’d like to see the 46yr coug over here in OC, funny. yep, (and i know i’m a part of the prob!), but the net makes people into little thumbnail icons that are too much fun to click on etc. it is dehumanizing and for that, no answer other than art.

  4. was just looking up places to get my eyebrows tinted yesterday and found it a bit diffcult. where did you go? please post a photo!

  5. not related to this post…but i really like the way you write. wanted to say that for a while, but never did for no reason at all. definitely think you should write…mmmm professionally? i just mean i think that the “literary” world would benefit from having some alternative styles, such as yours, shake things up a bit (as opposed to more stephanie meyers vamp bullshit).

  6. ber i have some unflattering pics of the process ill post later. if u go anywhere to get your hair dyed just tell them to throw the same colour or whatever else on your brows.

    thanks nora that means a lot.

  7. can sense that triangulation between your writing for you and writing for the lovers and writing for the haters. it’s there in shifting styles and shifting direction. guess I think you should write for you, and people will like it or they won’t.

    anyway, getting a rise out of you is just more masturbation. I say leave ‘em to the onion skins. (perfect horrible image, that)

  8. people like hate and talking about it, it’s interesting and present. it doesn’t bother me as much as it is coming across. content content content filler filler filler.

  9. … it was actually a 5-minute video of you applying mascara that allowed me to appreciate what you’re doing here. You’re being human. I mean, if someone else has a better idea what the point of all of this (us humans) is, they should let us all in on the secret.

  10. maybe the guy who one stars your videos before they’re blogged is the same guy that does that to me! SRS. i was all, “doesn’t he realize how self-defeating that is when i’m not really posting it for youtube to enjoy, but for esoteric blog purposes?” then i “blocked” user because he always left one snarky comment about how i was morbidly obesely fat at a size 6, and he really thought he won with that comment. um, then he created ANOTHER account, and was blocked from there too. he used to sock-puppet all over my blog as if people actually thought they were different guys who wrote in the exact same tone, with no avatar, who thought i sucked (hey, possible). anyway, i banned him after it just got boring because i have a general free speech policy i’m thinking of eliminating.

  11. this comment is directed at E you rule. This comment is directed at B, you suck, and at the author of this blog, you are winding yourself into horrible little knots, people really don’t care that much. One of the great thinks about the medium of the internet is its freedom of speech, and if people don’t like something they will be at liberty to say so and it’s so easy to. The internet is just a huge messy pool. does not mean that they are ‘borderline insane’ either. I really do think that you need to stop being so g’damned insecure and not let the negative comments get to you, it’s really not even about winners and losers. okay?

  12. Why would I be embarrassed. Like I said, I used to super love, now i’m just not feeling it so much. Did not say I hated, still reading. If you post a post a “how do you feel about me” poll and somebody says they used to like you more than they do now, that just means that somebody used to like you more than they do now. Shit.

  13. to be truly meh about something (which it is clear that you aren’t, sorry) you leave zero comments. you can’t even be bothered to skim comments.

    anonymous you missed the boat. haters are the most loyal people ever. they are consistent and they never go away.

  14. I don’t always agree with everything you write (and sometimes strongly disagree), but I find you consistently fascinating and honest. I dunno; I have no problem disagreeing with people on Jezebel, but I feel like it’s another thing to write out those disagreements with an opinion on someone’s personal website because it seems like attacking the whole person, not just the statement.

    There’s a kind of “dance, monkey, dance!” vibe to the “I am kind of meh about you right now” comment. Like, blog moar better just ’cause I said so, for my entertainment.

  15. take the voting system off your youtube videos! people are complete jerks on youtube, I can’t handle it at all. I’ve been meaning to move over to vimeo forEVER, haven’t made the leap yet. And you know I love youuuuu.

  16. oh man – i have flashbacks of me trying to lighten my eyebrows with the same colour they used on my hair – and she left it on too long and I came out with ginger eyebrows. blonde hair + orange eyebrows = lonely nights.

  17. I’ve been following your blog for 6-ish years. Loved you then. Love you now. My husband reads, too. There have been many a good conversations inspired by something you posted.

  18. I think you’re great, I think that haters and lurkers are really fucking weird. If you dislike something so much then why come back for more? And it only seems to happen on the internet too, you don’t hear people talking about how much they hate IHOP and then eating there every night and chatting up all the servers.

  19. it’s like you wrote in a post a little while back…it’s so easy to be a hater, and takes guts to stand up for something and be positive…
    just like it’s so easy to be a cynic…any teenager can do it
    growing up asks us to recognize the good in others

    the only people who are insecure around here are the ones who try to make themselves feel better by trying to pull you down to their level…how pathetic that they haven’t figured out yet that it doesn’t work

    “you judge me, you make yourself look bad”
    pretty heartwarming poll results xxx

  20. I think you are great. But seriously, stop caring so much about the Internet. I HAD a high traffic blog in england for 5 years and a bit. I had to shut er down cold turkey bc it reuined my life. My relationship got fucked up and I didn’t feel alive without an Internet connection.

  21. Um I was just passing time on the internet today I don’t feel like the very character of my being is being assassinated when my vids get one-starred. I need a graphic stamp for posts hours later that I’ve gotten majorly over.

  22. you are awesome & i definitely voted love.

    i must admit i get quite amused reading blogs done by people i hate…but i don’t go the extra mile to comment on it cuz, well, who the fuck cares?

    i have better things to do. like drink to excess and smoke reefer.

  23. so i just stopped and thought, ‘wow, i’ve been reading this blog for literally, three(approx.) years of my life’, and with the recent changes in material, i’ve noticed a lot of relatable changes in my life and i kinda realized that i’m connecting with this person, even though i never have and probably never will meet them. it’s an amazing thing, really. and raymi you da bess i hope you become the most famous person alive and i can be all sa-lut i was her biggest fan when i was in high school, bitch

    viva la raymi

  24. I think at some point you should definately stop writing with the haters in mind. Completely. I think your best writing is down without any walls and “back-is-up” attitude. Don’t let people with too much time on their hands and nothing good to say tear you down. If I may say…”Stay Gold” Raymi. Haha.

  25. “growing up asks us to recognize the good in others”

    very well said, tin ribs!

    man it takes way too much effort to be a hater all the time; if those haters used half as much effort to do some fucking good in the world, well fuck, this place would be a hell of a lot better for all of us (yes, that IS the socialist in me talking)

  26. “it doesn’t matter what the video is of, the point of it is that it exists period. we’re all islands out here, some people live in total isolation and therefore appreciate a little vapid vignette now and again. someone, somewhere, will watch it and like it.”

    yeah… i like these kinda videos. :)
    little glimpses into other people’s actual lives.
    i pretty much live for that crap.

  27. Pingback: Another Plug « Mitsein :: Sofia

  28. verdict of the century: there are some seriously bored loser deviant bitchy assholes on the internet. we’re just lucky you’re not one of them.

Comments are closed.