number one reason i started blogging: i thought i was special and that the world should know about it as soon as possible and i didn’t want to have to wait to be a superstar for that to happen.

unearthing old cds holy moly guacamole (that’s my new saying now)(no it isn’t)(yes it is but just for right now) what a time-warp. currently spinning AIR the one album i’ve exclusively only ever listened to baked, high, insane by (is exclusively plus ‘only ever’ redundant? it must be sorry no more brackets i am constantly in an inside joke with myself apparently) and each track is making my stress level peak soar crash then up again i’m doing this why? self-sanctioned suffering is good for inspiration because. it occurs to me that the world is waiting for some big announcement via raymi wire. can we just go back to the regular old tired shit, here’s what i ate and thought about it, here’s a trinket that reminds me of some dumb story that happened when i was a teenager and that is a lamp post in the nite, be affected by it! as usual flickr is not cooperating so i can’t even do that. there’s some newbies-ish photos on there if you care, one specifically of a chick decked out in pink, piles of yarn hair pink tutu pink mesh finger gloves i didn’t get her whole get-up just the sneak pic behind her head on the subway i almost asked if i could get a shot but then i’d have to give her my card and then you’d all be mean about her and i dunno, put too much thought into it i suppose. wanted to ask where she was going, not a clue, velvet? guvernment? systems? i applaud her bravery and 90’s rave scene/japanese harajuku explosion homage i def do not have the cajones for that. oh wait here we go a pocket of internet connectivity.

sometimes you just don’t want to write about yourself anymore.

what’s this? oh good one. (boatloads of sarcasm)

ugh hahaha i’m sure the genius who scribed this is very pleased.

sensing a theme.

and one more shot of our hero.

rocky and cid communicate via these flats that are on their last, flats? i like to kill a pair a season. i really miss my aladdin slippers. sigh, jewels, sigh pointy.

ghost vision. seriously the bottom half of this chick, so much going on.

zebra ears too. sure.

batman pug.

time to bathe my life away.

i’ll be seein’ya!

very topical shit right now. catch you up later.

joe rules. he says he can tell i’m a writer cos i’m cerebral. i think that means babbling idiot.

here’s more or less what i said as i answered the questions last nite i may or may not have been baked and i am not re-reading this crap before i hit publish.

Was it a complicated decision to become so open with your personal life in your blog?

no in all actuality it was quite simple at the time i had no outlook or any idea in mind for any possible repurcussions of my online actions, roughly ten years ago on the internet you could basically say and/or do all the seedy shit you wanted with virtually yeah, zero fallout. there weren’t comments or any sort of…

Where do you draw the line with privacy?

now that i know for fact the majority of my family reads my blog i draw the line now. i try not to freak them out, i definitely censor myself now cos i keep them in mind but before all that i drew the line at showing beaver pretty much. once i started working as an online “model” i was 19 i began upping the ante in terms of online exhibitionism. smoking weed too, i really enjoyed getting high and blogging cos your memory recall is pretty much nil, write it and forget it. oh i showed my tits? big deal. seriously at the time the pool of toronto bloggers was say 100 and of them i was the black sheep of the bunch everyone else was corporate minded, political, conservative, sports and tech. i had nothing to lose and in my mind only everything to gain so i went whole-hog and by the time blogging reached it’s first wave of “cool” peak i was a few years ahead of the game so i was in. nowadays the privacy line is pretty blurred, like, everyone went by aliases back then now people are shoving their real names down your throat because we all want to be known. facebook for one obvious example, some people are wickedly private there which is funny to me as why would you join that shit or engage in any sort of online activity if you have privacy issues? another thing, who cares? really. no one cares if your mom has status updates and we see who your cousin is? what do you have to hide, seriously?

Have you any regrets?

tons and none. do you mean in a broad and general sense like i never shoulda not went to college?

What are the benefits of being public?

notoriety, contacts, experiences, attention, getting the word out, making a name for yourself…

Based on your experience, how do you think the internet has affected our culture in so far as a social tool.

pluses and minuses – the positive is getting thr word out faster, breaking news up to the minute, the second reporting

What is your advice to people on the issue of internet privacy?

get over it maybe? how slow are news days when we have to sit around and hear about facebook’s new privacy terms? it’s called progress. how invaded are our lives anyway already, we get junk mail, spam, your interac transactions all that is recorded so that the next time you click on whatever the fuck a certain ad is targeted specifically to you, thats just the way the world is and if you don’t get that then you obviously shouldn’t be on the fucking internet.

everything is kind of a mess right now. you share so much with everybody and the moment when you have the most to share you just can’t bring yourself to say anything. things are in-flux, so much is going on and so much isn’t. when your personal life is out there for the world and daily you do your song and dance, when things change all the sudden you haven’t a clue what you’re supposed to do anymore. i feel like it’s nobody’s business but my own but when my business is getting on the noisebox what the hell right? do i explain my silence? i think compulsion is the only thing that drives this blog really. not so much solely narcissism or knowing there is a captive audience, when it comes down to it, when i keep my thoughts to myself i kind of go insane. this is my release. this is my grief this is my fucking obligation? saying nothing doesn’t help, it just gets people concerned while saying something, albeit wickedly vague also gets their backs up.

i would just like to simply say FUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK.

my advice is this: do not ever pretend, do not ever live for anyone else and always be yourself no matter what. do not be silenced, nor shamed.

it will all work out in the end.

or whatever joshmosh99 on youtube says it better:

thisis stupid i want to c VAGINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA