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the silence following each beautiful statement i make is actual laughing so hard silence, you know? i don’t just go on and on at parties when i’m tankin’ (yes i do) every joke.

brad was goin’ all newf but then stopped once i got the camera out so i stepped in. he corrected me that cape breton is not in newfoundland (duh like, i know) but whatever all the same shit basically over there on the east coast they all speak like scottish troll leprechaun wastoids and i love them very much. but not as much as you. and yes i am drunk still. likely.

i’m cool cos i care about the environment, i bring jars of piss to parties. with ice cubes!

and i am in a gang now.

OMG IS THAT BRAD PITT! someone called him chris angel last nite too ahahaa nice. brad we love you.

this is how we show it.

guess how many tries this guy took.

for the win.

I, am a wonderful person.

what’s doin bacman? (like pacman)(uh cool name?) the chick who owns this buddy is polish so maybe that means something haha i just spelled polish polosh. and now we’re discussing nail polish, oh homonym, you freak. UPDATE: the dog’s name is batman so why the fuck was everyone going out of their way to clarify that it was just like pacman? tards.

birthday cake rollies! oh yeah this was a birthday party for matt and dave. COME FOR THE MATT, STAY FOR THE DAVE. still kills me.

didja hear? they took the cn tower down. shipped it off to vancouver. enjoy.

brosz7’s arm was getting tired from holding that beer stein all nite long, this is a photo depicting the pain. that dude beside him is jay phill, we are working on formulating the best band ever together very soon (we’re very bummed the name HOT PISS is taken by some band in peterborough, think we can nab it off them?) he drums and i spazz the f out and actually my voice is loads better now, i dunno if it’s from maturing and/or combo of non-smoking but either way, have you ever heard an angel sing before? well, you will.

brad is diggin’ on his necklace and getting loads of props for it. you better be name-dropping me.

can’t be helped.

lets crank this party up a notch. i love the store clerk’s reaction every time i go in there at like 2 in the morning to buy sparklers or water balloons. so typical.

shocked and awed we all have our eyes and fingers.

party for hire email for my rate card kids love me!

ten million more of this to come later when the jokes get worse.

PAYCE IN THE MIDDLE AYYYYYYYYSTE omg shut up now please god.

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