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can he link me up with a half-o then?

um so you never heard of like, a q-tip?

so like the cool story i am i have misplaced my camera. thankfully there were no dirties on it just random whimsical shit. phewf. i don’ think that sucker is comin’ back but it’s just as well as i’ve been meaning to upgrade for awhile now also i have a backlog of at least a thousand photos on my laptop to deal with anyway. a whole buncha part 2s of stories you don’t care about. i’m gonna call the pub around 6 or so when the shift changes to see if the girls picked it up. who leaves their phone at home, brings a camera and loses it. oh and here comes a cliche you’ve never once heard uttered before I NEVER LOSE THINGS EVER! seriously this is my first loss. i have every cell phone kickin’ around that i’ve ever had, i hang onto stuff like it’s frankincense, or myrrh. no, definitely myrrh.

time to wash the rat’s nest bye-o!

oh and today it is my niece’s actual birthday. she is eleven.

will you look at this little hipster, my god!

you do no even want to know what i looked like at eleven. just envision a total fucking douchebag with tidal wave hairsprayed bangs and plaid. and scowling. and fear street books. plus major funky ‘tude i have no idea how i got so far in life not getting my ass kicked with the smart on my mouth. by the time people figure out that i burned ‘em i am long gone.


oh yeah my a-z guide to dating a dealer article is being published in the first print issue of streetbonersandtvcarnage. way? YES WAY. it’s gonna be dvd sized and come with a tv carnage dvd. in case you were ever stupidly naive of my cool studentness before…jussayyyyin. they emailed me a couple days ago don’t worry i played it chill, no big deal at all just another day in the life of a dickhead. (that’s you)

remind me to tell you about how i was late to bday dinner cos the perfectionist at the asian cute store decided to take TEN MINUTES to wrap a teeny box i’m like guy i have to be on the other side of town like 20 minutes ago speed it up.

9 thoughts on “HOTTTTTTT

  1. I lose stuff all the time. Wallet, camera, phone, whole purse, shirt, keys, everything at least once a week. A couple of weeks ago I dropped my cell into the gray box and the next day the recycling truck dude called from the other side of town saying he found my phone in the heap of bottles.

    Imma email you about directions to that place I want to get one of each stuffed toy!!

  2. I think I have lost a total of 9 cell phones since the age of 16. My dad still has and refuses to use ANYTHING but the first Nokia ever made… I commend him.. .it still works better than any other phone I have ever had!

  3. i tried ear candling at home last week. it cost me 20 bucks for the ‘candles’ (4 of them) it was a rip off cuz it didn’t even work. you’re better off getting those little baby ear cleaners and swoosh your earful of water like the doctors do.

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