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storytime with raymi’s brother

just got off the phone with my bro and here’s how his friday went.

he and his buddies hit up the classy establishment known as joe dogs and proceed to get ripped and bro out for the nite then all the sudden some hot redhead feels like chirpin’ at ‘em, shit like “i’ll fight you” and according to my brother they did not instigate it or rile her up in any way (yes complete innocents i’m sure) so she’s freaking out and one of my brother’s ever gentlemanly companions says to her and i quote, “YO I DON’T HIT WOMEN, I SLAP BITCHES” ahem. fair enough, chick hits the roof, some other posse of dudes overhears it all and says you shouldn’t talk to girls like that so then it’s group against group with this crazy chick in the mix (regular barfly no doubt). then my brother slaps a hot dog out of one guy’s hand (HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA) right to the floor and screams in his face LETS GOOOOOOOOOO the guy cowers, then comes back at him, brother strangles him, everyone is yelling at each other thumping chests or whatever hooliganing out big time then the bouncers come and make my brother’s crew leave.

outside my brother and company while waiting for a cab the redhead appears and starts it up all over again all by herself cos the group of other dudes split. she’s screaming and yelling shit like THERE THEY ARE FUCKER BLAAAAAH! (the guy who said the slap bitches line is MIA) so my brother goes look, i think you’re a beautiful girl (heartfelt) but i don’t think you should pick fights with guys, do you not get laid enough? then the chick bursts into insane loud tears, sobbing and proclaiming I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU all in front of the bar and everybody smoking, cabs, everything (like to serve and protect love it) and the bouncers are restraining her while laughing at the same time, one said i can’t believe you said that! kinda giving my brother props cos apparently she’s an annoying barfly drunk and this happens on the regular.

then all the dudes went back to my brother’s place to drink til the sun came up and crashed all over the house. as it goes, the more shit changes, the more it stays exactly the same.

THE END!

17 thoughts on “storytime with raymi’s brother

  1. my brother doesn’t normally bar hop, it’s just one of his friends who wanted to go out. he feels this story is a little trashy haha.

  2. apparently when he slapped the hot dog he also yelled CHEW WITH YOU MOUTH CLOOOOOOOOOOSED! which is hypocritical as my brother chews his food exclusively like a cow (mouth open).

  3. good story. joe dogs has ample touch screen screens.

    burlington is much better than toronto. and vancouver. and new york

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