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ESSENSITY and the city

first the final product to distract from the 30 tired eyes pictures of me you are about to see. gill and i biked over to solo bace salon (860 yonge) for our essensity appointments yesterday morning, called her the nite before to remind her about it even though she was supposed to call and remind ME anyway, was pretty tired after the weekend. to book your own visit the site, it happens every monday at different salons throughout the city until october 26 – ALL FREE! go in late to the office or have your hair and makeup done on your lunch break and go back to work looking like a prom queen.

just look for these signs.

see gill in there?

gift bags. good sign.

gill already had her eyes made up. coward. i had my base make up on, myself, no eyes though. i felt pretty naked and squinty and shy.

nice joint.

i showered/washed my hair everyday at the cottage, glad i did sunday and braided it. i apologized every time the shampoo girl hit a snag (not too frequently thankfully) and at one point there were four hands working on me. SORRY I HAVE MERMAID HAIR SORRY! (not sorry)

forced myself to “let go” and relax for the head massage. normally i make a ton of stupid embarrassing enjoyment noises or i kick out my legs comic-like, way sensitive scalp, tickles. not yesterday though i held my breath and shut my mouth.

being forced to stare at yourself for a half hour in a mirror is intense when you’re eye-baggin’ it. why can’t they do makeup pre-hair? way less depressing.

eavesdropping cannot be avoided. my favourite. once gill left the chair beside me a girl with short hair sat down and proclaimed that she “hated long hair” when asked why the short hair. i decided that she was then my enemy but kept it a secret. i liked her shoes though. the stylist had short hair too. there are other answers for having short hair you know like for one, muffdiving, or, momming out.

product plug. this is good shit. my hair has zero volume cos the length pulls it down quite a bit plus my ramones/tiger lily part and the overall fineness. point being, my hair has volume still today after sleeping on it thanks to this and this line of product is the most as organic as possible thing out there, pretty natural, less harsh on the environment and on your hair.

every morning i have knots and dreadlocks but, not today it’s still shiny. i use a leave-in conditioner after showering by schwartzkopf as well (came in another gift bag) that’s pretty good.

gill passed out during her hair wash/massage.

i haven’t had my hair blown by someone else in a VERY long time. this experience has inspired me to have my hair dyed next week (sponsored!) seeing how long my roots are in the jays game photos of last week, plus yesterday, i’m sold. a salon is no place for hippie hair. i can’t even remember the last time i had my hair dyed either.

i didn’t even notice that streak before.

gettin’ straight. my stylist asked if i ever curl my hair. yeah maybe a few times around christmas haha. i told her they don’t take and fall out pretty easily (especially if i straighten my hair first which i learned the hard way, so stupid) but anyway go ahead yeah lets do this.

hi i’m COUSIN IT have we met? i even gave the ends a trim last week AND my stylist gave my hair another trim to even it all out (fil evidently is blind and cannot detect uneven hair). sevda said i suit long hair. thanks sevda!

bangs are gettin’ long.


we marveled at the curl length still quite long with curls all up in it.

sevda sprayed my hair BEFORE curling. learn something new everyday.

i should have worn sunglasses. yikes. i totally look like my papa here.

colour change LED v nice.

if there was more time she would have held the curling iron longer which would have made the curls last longer. i said i would ride my bike home really slowly. didn’t happen, once i start riding i think i am in a race with everyone on the street. the curls flying in the air through yorkville turned heads though. worth it.

finally face time.

gahaha this is what happens when you ask me to smile so stop asking me to smile.

what a dope. i asked her to go to town on my puffy eyes. still wasn’t enough.

lots of mascara please. she wasn’t going to for some reason. then i asked for some on the bottom, she was very dainty with it. i was like um i fully lace this shit on. i saw how much gill was wearing and was jealous that’s how i learned gill had it on when we showed up what the hell! that’s like taking sand to the beach or basically washing your hair before the salon. women ARE insane.

pale attack. see can you tell i am even wearing any mascara at all? wait maybe this was before mascara i don’t even know.

haha. the picture on the other chick’s camera is way better. (why aren’t those up on the site yet?)

icing on the cake.

awesome. though i have a hook-up elsewhere, thanks tho! if someone wants this let me know.


same bronzer used on my face. sayonara bonne bell bronzer (til this guy runs out).

wicked. that lipstick/gloss is phenom too. just when you run out the product fairy sprinkles some luck your way.

ok girls go get your own gratis pampering experiences while you can. (don’t forget to tip though ya cheapskates!)

EW internet speak in real life. whoever wrote that should be fired.

next read and it better not be a pretentious pile of self-indulgent puke. better not as in better BE! xoxo (she got a lot of flack for the “piece” she wrote about that author who died i forget the name of. fuckin’ internet eh. sometimes it’s like, just shut the fuck up already and let blowhards be blowhards)

25 thoughts on “ESSENSITY and the city

  1. there are other answers for having short hair you know like for one, muffdiving, or, momming out.
    omg hahahahaaa

  2. Whoever wrote “Spice Up Ur Day” should also be fired. Is this what all the posts are gonna be like around the time you and Fil get married? At least you’re not pretentious about that princess shit and that’s why I heart you.

  3. no there will be close to zero posts as we will be MIA around that time probably dropping acid in ireland or dancing in a gay drum circle in costa rica. wasting money on weddings is not for us. weddings are about the couple not 200 people you barely know or care about and never see or hear from.

  4. Wurtzel’s other books are definitley narcissistically whiny but this contains writing that has some direction.

  5. i loved prozac nation cos i was young and impressionable when i read it. i’ve been told this one she wrote on ritalin and it’s hard to read, directionless. the other one is about how she was addicted to ritalin while writing bitch. great.

  6. getting a head massage is my favourite part of getting my hair done.
    you look great. i never let anyone do my makeup ever but how you turned out makes me less scared. so pretty.

  7. Ooh, jealous. That looked like fun! I did the spa thing once (last year before my wedding) and liked it, but yeah, I agree, hair salons do treat hippies badly. They always want to chop off all your hair and you have to say NO THANK YOU.

    I liked “More, Now, Again”, I never read “Bitch” but I gave it to my bitchy best friend as a gift. Ritalin is overrated! And not good for people prone to anxiety (me).

  8. Nice that you had a head spa day.
    The last time you had your hair dyed by someone may have been when I took you to Angies, then you turned around and redyed it yourself
    Its good to keep trimming your hair to keep it healthy.

  9. Honey, I am so jealous of your hair I think I want to punch you in the face. Remind me again why you’ve never dressed up as Arwen Evenstar for Halloween? Holy jesus pants, I want to petttt your headdddd!

    I have horrible hair jealousy of people because I literally have the finest, thinnest, most fragile hair you have ever encountered in your life; it falls out in clumps if you look at me cross-eyed. I think one day soon I’m just going to say “FUCK IT” and pull a Mia Farrow.

  10. Grateful for a million years for letting me know about this. Made an appointment AND on a Friday evening so I can make the best use of it, haha.

  11. Oh damn, nevermind. Turns out it only happens on Monday and I was looking at the wrong calendar. At least it gives me an excuse to go drinking on a Monday night.

  12. meh, i think i like you sans spa better. u got a better idea of who u are then they do.
    oh, and i had a dream that i live with u guys in this oddly interesting stainless steel studio apartment. it smelled like iron and everyone was stoned all the time. there were interesting pants and shoes involved as well.

  13. yeah i had some trouble reading “bitch”. i gave up and gave it to a friend. hopefully you will like it though!

  14. ooohhh thanks for the butterface photo..well just fugly overall..but the reality check was definitely needed.

    p.s. i’m NEVER standing beside you in a photo again.

    that is all.

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