Monthly Archives: February 2009

Bangawoyo

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growing a gay best friend from raymi lauren on Vimeo.

this (leave your pint at the bar) is a bad sign when it comes to cuisine in a sports bar. thanks fil for taking me here after sitting in your car for three hours reading nylon to keep you company. worst greek pasta salad ever, thanks for the “secret greek spices” which were where/what exactly? fil ordered a blackened chicken pizza and it pretty much tasted the complete opposite of blackened chicken. on our way out he goes oh right i’d only ever had beer in there before. GREAT.

canadians rule eh, someone tried to heat their car free?

well i guess it worked cos the spot was free heheheh.

this is how you eat onion dip when the dip is all the way at the bottom of the jar and your chips are just dust and crumbs.

put the teaspoon in the jar, get a modest (HUGE) amount then jam as many chip babies you want that’ll stick to it.

tell your hangover i say no problem. pay it forward dudes!

oh and now charting the progress of my new gay best friend:

in the first two hours expect some growth then forget about him completely and do your thing, he takes 72 hours to reach maximum size.

lookin’ a bit bloated there guy.

holy shit gross!

i think they got the jock best friend mixed up with the gay guy, gays would not wear flip flops this is a jock uniform.

next morning i think? my pics are all scattered i can’t be bothered to organize them or measure this thing.

so like, are you ready to go shopping yet?

zzzzzzzz.

now this morning do you see a difference?

alright so on our way back home last nite eastbound on the 401 just before mavis fil sees a car skid wobbling super fast so he accelerates and says holy shit i am leaning over fiddling with the radio and just as he exclaims holy shit i look up to see a car flipping up into the air hollywood styles does a complete 360 degree rotation landing back down on its wheels with snow exploding all around it and everything inside it jostled around (had it bounced in a slightly different way your hero here might not be writing this currently) fil immediately calls 911 i say should we pull over should we pull over omg omg OMG no it’s not safe to then we listen to 680 for the every ten minutes traffic report saying there’s been a collision and hopefully paramedics are on the scene. the rest of the drive home my heart was pounding in my head with adrenaline surging like an m’fer. that was my first real car crash witness holy fuck does that ever put some shit in perspective for you right on the spot no? i turned back and couldn’t see anyone in the car i hope that person was wearing a seat belt and hope to god no kids were in that car it was a pretty big doozy of a slam. fil hasn’t heard anything else about it on the news since. i still can’t get that flip out of my head and then the abrupt suspension bouncing and snow flying everywhere and everything inside floating slow motion and the sound jesus. it was kinda terrifying.

anyway, that’s enough about that.

prairie home companion

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my ego pure stroked here. didn’t post much today went on the road with the old man. lots of stories to share later.

fil’s take on my “departure” from what i normally wear is well, just that? not really a fan. whatever, he’s a dude. he couldn’t come up with one compliment yesterday other than whimsical, which doesn’t really count. there’s a few others i haven’t taken pictures of yet i’m waiting for penelope cruz to invite me over to her cocaine party from that scene in blow first.

phewf ya goof

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just a sprinkling of last nite, fil and i have to shower and get a move-on.

haha midgetland where are we lost in toyland or whatever that stupid movie is, toys? something with toys and elves i dunno it’s been a sloppy ride guys.

god how much did you like the scene at lee’s bahaha.

um who are you are you famous? why yes, yes i am can’t you tell from the nightgown i am wearing jesus go back to the club district or the desperate place in your head where you think it’s tmz 24/7. one actual cool person approached me, said he liked my look and that we should do a music video. hey guy i hope that wasn’t just a pick-up line hook it up.

look it’s you, you stupid fuck.

ryan bequeathed us with bi-poletry that he texts himself i could not get it all cos i was laughing so hard and the macro just wasn’t synching. the funny meter last nite was oh so cranked. we had 24 wings and thought maybe we should order 48? or even 72, 96? how far can we take this funny? i won numerous rounds of asshole, how suiting.

okthanksbye.

wait these are notes not texts so it’s not THAT bad.

oh yeah someone threw a snowball at the rocking out thinks he’s brad pitt/scott weiland poseur and no one noticed or cared aside from ryan and i, couldn’t believe it, took his cock-rock down a few after that then he just gave’r. i thought it was pretty mean but that was the type of crowd at lee’s, very intelligent and i say that with as much sarcasm as there is available to me on this good earth. i think the rule is if you wear sunglasses out at nite and you come across some jocks you kinda have to just accept a snowball to the face while on stage?

once i was blasted enough and my little house on the prairie dress insecurity subsided i did cut a few rugs so it wasn’t all bad. there were playboy girls there too and a slew of skanks and they all complained in the bathroom about what a dive lee’s was hahahaa so good they all had quaffed cougar hairdos and stupid clone outfits on so didn’t get it at all.

thanks for the good times zack!

i’m growing a gay best friend right now wish me luck guys!

1234 bloor

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yesterday afternoon sass and i spent two hours at vintage buy the pound (the new bloor location) and they have a blog too! fil waited in the car (playing sudoku on his blackberry and emailing whatever etc he forgot his book AND he did me this solid cos he knew it would make me less crabby for the shit show event what was going to be last nite which i will tell you about later) while we manically tried on and altered dresses – i came out with 6 dresses, a cardi and an insane psychedelic mushroom print smock type thing that if i walked into the room wearing it you would have an instant panic attack if you were baked out of your gourd. anyway, it was fun as hell and if you see something you absolutely NEED but it doesn’t fit right they will alter it on the spot for you, or you can do it yourself on one of the many sewing machines available. they also host sewing and crochet classes and on feb 7 there’s going to be a rock show down in there too, some band on sonic youth’s label not sure exactly whom and there will be booze (shh shh) i suggested to irene (resident sewing and alterations whiz all-around awesome person) to have a couple tables/baskets of clothes on deck so people can drunk shop (they plan to move everything to the back out of the way in case some sticky fingers turn up). actually when we first arrived i asked if i could take photos and gave irene my card she KNEW me from the vice letter i wrote back when i was 18 and was floored by that story i was like well at least someone is – so fucking tired of the toronto hate pool, change already. after that it was a slew of you look great in that compliments which is why 60 bones + later i am a happy gal. ok enough blabber, on with the show.

pre-alteration.

can you guess which one off this wall i bought?

one of the firsts i tried on, did not buy.

oh the fun to be had in here dressing mannequins.

ample mirrors with ROOM paired with loads of lighting unlike black market’s teeny space.

irene did some magic on it and made it tighter, i was too insecure to let her make it super tight but now wish i went for it so i might bring this baby back for a visit. also, if you’re in a hurry to have something ready they will fix it for you and deliver it to your house can you believe those little elves so nice! sass was overhauling a dress and at the last minute a zipper came off and they wanted to work on it more and then drop it off can’t believe it i’m still stunned, that generosity just doesn’t happen in the world i know.

have you narrowed down your guess yet here i did it for you…

LOVE this number, what it was before i even would have worn but now it is so famke jensen at the 2006 mtv awards show she presented with rebecca romain at i have not gotten that image of her gliding across the stage out of my borderline-obsessed mind since.

alright moving on.

a place for your dude friend to hang if ness. (there ARE guy threads too fyi).

see right over there to the right.

my yes pile.

the longer it took for sass to work on two dresses, the more shit i tried on. not complaining.

insert oblivious kathy lee gifford sweatshop joke here.

and here.

a nice little fashion guy sauntered on in to offer some voice of reason to some of my selections, he disagreed on one dress i was not feeling myself and i’m glad he did. he yessed everything else. if you try something on and it doesn’t immediately jump out at you that you look amazing then you shouldn’t buy it.

two garbage bags with new goodies arrive!

when you go “thrifting” (yes i know that term is way pretentious lame) be sure to wear leggings and a teeny tank so you don’t have to be chilly and naked if you plan on trying on a lot of stuff.

oh don’t you think i won’t be back soon. when YOU go be sure to grab one of their adorable pamphlets it has a schedule of all upcoming events. (feb 3 is valentines mittens! feb 5 is learn to crochet a valentines cupcake!)

back at sass’ the can i actually wear this out hits home.

yeah of fucking course i can just do it why not.

hahah then crazy comes to tea.

i might wear this today we’ll see, nothing says superbowl like um, this dress?

borrowing it!

which way to the barbie dream house i got lost once i passed polly pocket way.

i kind of super dig this one and will do it right. with curls and a lamb. oh man wait til you see the others.

then dreamy 18 year old 5 feet 9 inches of beauty strolled on in no big deal you know. oh man can i talk about your eye patch sam? well i guess i just did but not the “best” part about it.

to be continued…