with special guest steph!

she also has a little want ad currently posted on her blogeroonie.

do you think american apparel would hire this guy?

fact: perhaps i should not comment if i don’t have something nice to say?

me: well yeah
i dont know why u said that other than to get me going
it has nothing to do with other comments

fact: partly

me: also im not going to censor an experience i had cos i know its going to come off a certain way when i put it in a post

fact: that is good

me: so then what does “partly” mean

fact: people’s comments of pretty socks pretty socks pretty socks

me: whatever

fact: i like your socks too

me: thank you

fact: you seemed so mad at these people for hating on what you were wearing, but you do the same to them

me: i dont know how to not sound like a whiner about women being mean to me and sounding like a broken record

fact: that is why i made the comment

me: i do it in defense
i wouldnt say shit if they werent being dicks to me

fact: ok

me: i wouldnt even notice them at all
they were very miami beach yenta cunty big hair dramatic turning around to sneer at me

fact: haha

me: it just kept happening
it was laughable like really u are that upset by my stupid outfit

fact: girls like that are ughhhhh

me: the older i get the more insane i will dress and the more shit ill receive
ugh

fact: is that the way most girls are

me: sort of

fact: i think so

me: the ones with no personal style
or game
they dont like people who stand out

fact: its funny we had a comment fight

me: HA

fact: YOU LOVE IT

me: dont argue with the pms monster

fact: ok maybe not
thanks for outing my real name

me: that was your punishment

fact: hahaha
no one gives a shit about me anyway

me: the next one was going to be meaner if u came back with more guff

fact: what was it gonna be
oh, i am gonna instigate more!

me: i wasnt going to say it actually im not that mean
and i actually didnt want to lose you

fact: you already called me bitter and a dick
but thats ok

me: well theyre relevant
if i put that in a post you wrote how would you feel

fact: you are like, that is not name calling, that is just stating the truth

me: ha
you were being a dick, you are not a dick

fact: yeah, i hate when people say i am bitter

me: HA

fact: but i only said you sounded bitter in your post

me: well duh cos catty women were pissing me off all nite long

fact: ok, understandable

me: i always notice the bad things

fact: yes, like most people

LOOK OUT A WHITE PERSON IS SWAYING!

alicia was cast as the token whitey in a hip hop music video and they told her no arms above shoulders, that’s white girl moves, not allowed. these shots are for you, kid.

i’m sure matt will love this one he’s doing serious guy posing with babe face. look how much of a tranny i am in heels.

so last nite i got 3475943 pieces of cut-eye from yuppie white lady celeb groupies it was great. we went to this film fest party on the parking garage roof in yorkville, free booze and food that’s all that mattered. the drunker the women got the bitchier their facial expressions. waiting in line for the port-o-potties there’s 4 line-ups for the women only stalls, meaning no dudes, it doesn’t mean women can’t use the other four johns that no one is lining up at so i of course take the initiative and a cool chill wall of tsks and clucks are at my back as i walk to the “dude” toilets, leslie came over behind me immediately and said oh i can’t let you stand there alone those women are giving you the foulest looks right now. i said i know i’m so nervous you take the next toilet that opens do me a solid here please, then two open at once so i take one cos doofus guy is all after you to me yeah thanks guy can you not detect the pile of tension we are surrounded in right now? it wasn’t even worth it cos there was piss everywhere and i couldn’t even see and there wasn’t a mirror and of course when i got out of there a huge line of women waiting. what are you mad about? the fact that i thought of it first? really, you are mad at yourselves for being stupid and wasting your own time.

when we arrived there was this red carpet you had to walk and the hired photog nabbed the group of us for a picture and i am giving blazin’ hot stink-eye to these two women who are eyeing my stupid socks (GET OVER IT) and looking away, eyeing up down, look away chat whisper so i held my gaze on them until they got to my face and shook my head with my eyes like slits and then our picture was taken, for the next one i overdid open mouth happy face pose.

the only reason i wore what i wore is cos fuck, i’m going to be myself, i’m not going to don the same get-up as you boring rich clown nobodies just cos it’s film fest. newsflash, you all look the same and have the same useless boring conversations, you’re bitter and i’m just trying to get along.

sorry PMS over here.

this lady made me feel tons better about my tickle trunk outfit:

at one point leslie and i were making our way to the stage cos ronnie was ripped on scotch and talking really pervy about all the hot women and we wanted in on that but on our way there of course one drunk woman was like OH YEAH OH YEAH STAND HERE IN MY WAY like making it impossible for us to get by, she was like the chasm by which the entire traffic and flow of people had to pass duh so i say in my sweetest voice WE ARE TRYING TO GET BY YOU and she goes ‘oh’ in a tiny oops voice then goes back to dancing and swaying and clapping and witching about. hostile audiences are so cliche, like really first concert in 5 years? why not take a relax pill. so anyway we are at the front and ronnie didn’t say one fuckin’ pervy thing to us, everyone around us though, and only chicks 50 and up, didn’t want to disrupt the flock i guess. lesson learned. those birds buy his records.

now i will say some positive things about last nite, we had fun, we love our friends and they love us, it rained but that was alright cos between us we had two umbrellas and it didn’t pour just sprinkled, the bartender we favoured was drunk and queer (his words) and had the best one-liners and made our drinks ridiculously strong which is why i’m partying with a chill pill right now and some pepto on the couch, perfect way to greet the red tide. ugh.

abusive old guy next door just fired’er up again, i opened my door wearing only my towel, the yelling was even louder in the hall, i put my face up to the door and said really loud (practically yelled) STOP YELLING AT HER! then slammed my door. he was yelling at the time so i am not sure if they even heard me. i think he did. the yelling continued a little longer but now it’s over. i have the adrenaline shakes like mad i just put some clothes on so i’m ready for round two. i am prepared to face this geezer fuck makeup-free face and all. a door on our floor just opened and closed, sounded like someone left? now i have to wait a bit to leave. i know anyone else around on this floor totally heard me so now they can’t fucking pretend anymore that it’s not happening. there’s weird noises going on in the hall, moaning or something, ugh. i feel like i am going to faint. i hate that guy so much, every time the vacuum lady does our floor he waits for her and comes out to chat her up like he isn’t the hugest prick in the world.

the only thing stopping me from telling this guy off before was guilt over how much noise fil and i make when we have friends over or if we are fighting, which is stupid because when we fight we aren’t verbally abusing and screaming bloody murder at each other. we have normal fights if that makes sense.

i have a mini fantasy of kicking his door in and throwing cid at him.

oh fuck i do hear crying.

PLEASE be my imagination.

it isn’t.

here comes rambo.

ok it’s more or less quiet now thanks for tuning in.

me: i yelled at old guy next door thru the door

me: i am going to copy the angry faces my french teacher used to draw

wicked!

in other news i watched like 4 episodes of sweet sixteen last nite, i was a bit sad and moody to begin with, and with each passing episode i hated myself more and more but for some reason i still intend to watch the rest of the episodes. then i watched baby mama, it’s alright. steve martin’s character is my FAVOURITE though!

WOAH just got the craziest news! found out a family member who had MS for the last 6 years, turns out, actually doesn’t. so pumped!

I AM BURNING MY FIRST EVER CD ALL BY MYSELF

NEVERMIND I AM HOPELESS

WAIT DON’T WORRY I AM TRYING AGAIN

SUCCESS! ME!

this is how gay i am

i am so pissed off at cid right now he slaughtered my hand for no reason.

check out all of sean’s other junk. i guess it’s safe to say he’s a funny guy. it will be interesting to see how long we will last sharing the humour spotlight.

oh look, wendi reviewed lick’s nature burger for fastfoodcritic! we are so proud and fil says, “now i NEED licks”.

here we are raymi
stuck in this old gold mine
just as sad as we can be
seems like a long long time
since we laughed and played together YOU AND MEEEEEEEEE
how i wish that we could flyawayyyyyyyy
oh raymi

sybil sadie
i know what you mean
i felt the same way too
i wanna get back home again
just as much as you
theres no one here to guide us
but we have the strength inside us
sybil sadie

oh raymi

I GUESS ITS UP TO YOU AND MEEEEEEEE
WEVE GOT TO
FIND A WAY TO GET BACK HOOOOOOME
THIS TIME WE’RE REALLY ON OUR OWWWWWWN
WEVE GOT TO
GET AWAY FROM CABBAGE JACK
AND GET BACK HOME AGAIN
THEY’RLL BE LAUGHTER INN THE CABBAGE PAAATCH AGAINNNNNNNN

thanks steph you big cuckoo.