yes it goes this far.

yesterday after fil came home around noon and left i went back to looking at internet porn for awhile then eventually got up and realised i couldn’t find cid, i’m like this in my head, where’s cid? very interesting stuff. so i go look in all the places he usually hangs, laundry basket, towel shelf (can’t be there the door is closed), on the bed, ottoman, then i look behind one of the curtains where he likes to sunbathe, nope not there, then as i am just about to panic (fil would lose his mind if cid disappeared, we would be in mourning for months, it would be a very bad scene) my eyes sweep this section of the room and jump cos a little handicapped basement troll is staring at me from the floor!

it was really windy yesterday (totally fucked with my plants) and it scared cid into wearing the curtains for protection and my pacing around looking for him made him extra on edge.

then we went to see hancock, i liked it.

after we nerded out at chapters, we were buzzed from our movie theatre juice boxes of wine i was planning on going sobes, then we walk by the lcbo and fil opens his mouth. i also classily ate 5 chicken wings from valumart out of a foil bag on a bench in like 2 minutes while everyone gawked. fil had sushi. i also smuggled in creamy dill chips, they’re pretty good, almost too creamy not enough dill.

i have somewhat of a bad track record of books i really liked as a teenager, assuming they are really that good and then getting fil to read and like them now, anyway, stumbled upon neil gaiman’s neverwhere, has anyone read it and if so can you please say how worth reading it is in my comments, thanks. omg they even made it into a tv mini series!!!! has anyone seen it?

ungh right, taking care of corporate babies for years and years.

anyway, the time i bought that nerd book i was using chapters as a meat market, and now every time i go there i can’t help totally scoping all the loners doing the same. sigh. and then there are the eccentric nerdy types who walk around having loud conversations they think everyone wants to hear cos they’re super clever and sarcastic and they dress like street kids from the 1800s.

an older woman tried to passive aggressively lip me off at the lcbo in the line i chose to stand in, she and her adult daughter were standing a good ten paces away from the line looking at stuff, i get in line, fil joins me, then 20 seconds later a sing songy accented voice says excuse me i am actually in line, i turn, as the daughter is saying oh no it’s alright (assumedly used to her mother’s obnoxious stunts) and i say actually no, you weren’t, then i take a step back and say BUT you can have it back IF YOU WANT and then the older woman gives me this teacher knows best look and says oh it’s ok. oh is it!? if it’s so fucking OK why did you have to let me know that it was YOUR place in line then if it’s ok for ME to have that spot? guiperg;eruogvndsjvbdvbki! i am putting my foot down for passive aggression, i’ve never been that way, and i do not tolerate it. they walked to the check out and stood in a line for barely a second before flitting off, leaving the line. line rule states that once you’ve committed to standing there for at least three minutes, THEN it’s your place, but normal people who aren’t stupid fucking babies wouldn’t even dream of claiming it back. you leave the line, then you aren’t standing in it, therefore, not your spot.

-george costanza

*update: that little singing asshole is back, he keeps going I’M OVER HEEEYEEER I’M OVER HEEEEEEEYEEEEEERE! oh and now repeating under my umbrella a thousand times.

bonus you get to see my greasy roots.

the prick has also started a trend for his camp mates, half the kids are wearing dumb old man hats. this was taken after a solid 4 minutes of screeching, it’s not even the worst of the noise.

FULL HOUSE VOICE!

don’t pretend i was the only one who ran home from school to eat as many cookies as possible before dinner and watch episodes of FH!

i love michelle in this picture she so looks like a ventriloquist puppet.

jodie sweetin totally fascinates me i don’t care how much of a loser that makes me sound, her spunky stephanie tannerisms win me over again and again, and now she has big tits. the awesome continues.

sigh, if i lost this i would probably start smoking meth too on top of my tv little sisters becoming disgustingly rich and famous and coveted over me. HOW RUDE!

no one even saw it coming that’s why it’s so tantalizing, once they started doing those dumb straight to vhs movies about going to grandmas and riding horses it was like ugh, enough, fizzle out already. boy they sure showed me! no YOU get a life!

ok so we all know kimmy gibbler had a slammin’ body, was super lithe but holy shit, look at the size of that mustard bottle in her hand, she’s as tiny as mkate and ashley! and omg that episode when dj starves herself and faints on the treadmill omg right!

becky always reminded me of april from teenage mutant ninja turtles, like way too sexy for wholesome full house, and then her stupid twin boys, they totally destroyed the show.

ugh perms, hairs biggest mistake ever.

too many things to be said for uncle jesse.

nice, he’s reading anne frank to them. i always found danny tanner to be repulsive and irritating, that character ugh, cleaning obsession and ties and feathered hair, then i discovered how fucking awesome bob saget really is, so blown away, he’s incredible.

i did enjoy the cliche episode about one of the twin boys’ development being slower than the other, they pulled that shit on everybody loves raymond too.

aw comet the dog.

this picture confused me i was like who is that old lady dave coulier is almost side-boobing how is this convention picture relevant to my amazing post? oh, that’s DJ!

this reminds me of the episode when stephanie draws a picture of her family for a therapist and draws danny on the OUTSIDE of the house and it represents how he WASN’T THERE during an earthquake and then she gets all clingy.

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

you can totally get me a season of FH on dvd, not the earlier ones though when michelle is a baby i liked her when she started talking, oh wait actually i liked stephanie back then too and all of her outfits. GET ME ALL OF THEM.

blahaha

i hope you guys enjoyed memory lane with me bye!

kelly just ran out and took a pic in front of the full house victorians for me!

i am not kidding there is like an entire day camp in the park right now of little kids and they’re singing that lets fly a kite song, and the ringleader of the pack is this clearly gay little boy out-singing everyone and he’s also wearing a brown old man hat and he has that show-tuney sing song voice, like annie, holy shit SHUT UP this is the worst possible noise for my ears and brain right now, they sang themselves all the way to the park and then he was totally egged on, it’s bananas! OMG and now he’s singing oliver twist jams fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. he keeps saying ok now lets sing this, we have to sing this next! god no wonder his parents sent him to camp. he’s waving his arms and kicking and everything. and now he’s singing this and i am going to close the doors and windows and put the a/c on. some girls are singing a different song at the same time. oh goodness!

hat kid is wearing.

more importantly here is a picture of me waiting for my pink dress to arrive

wow i need to figure out a new method to deal with being wickedly shy and neurotic other than guzzling vodka. i was the first to sing and i was disappointed the whole way through i thought i blew and as i jumped off the stage might even have started crying a little from nerves i know, how endearing pathetic is your hero! i signed up again for a song and someone either scratched it out or i was so bad they skipped me, i told sass to go flirt with the band or use her witchcraft charm to bump me up the list (it was getting late, coach was turning into a pumpkin bla blah) and it did not work. anyway, my first time at this place all the kids have been raving about, pretty decent. we had a reserved section high up with a nice view of the stage, compliments of sony/EMI. (thanks dudes!) i think the best part of the nite was when brosz7kowski was singled out and blamed for ordering the third heineken keg and i had to rescue him, i could see he was getting a bit agitated, i guess it was all sorted out in the end. i know for a fact i didn’t order that third keg. i know i drank it though.

fuck, my head.

on top of feeling like total dick right now, i look like it too, i have four chin zits that i have touched and played with all nite long and this morning so now they’re full tilt disgusting-looking. my eyes are probably bloodshot too.

no more shots is my new slogan.

guy singing was really good, he paid for my last beer cos i was like I AM AN IMPORTANT BLOGGER I WILL MAKE YOU EXTREMELY FAMOUS. ha.

and by popular request, retard poses you can’t get enough of

oh look, a poll!

mg‘s in town, we hung for a bit this afternoon and had coffee. here are some photos, mostly of me though, OF COURSE!

i commented on how lovely the ashtray matt was using was, he said it’s not an ashtray, it’s a fruit dish. ok, that’s a lovely fruit dish.

i never understood the thing about neve.

went to puma, dude got himself some new kicks just like that.

second from the top, far right.

then we went to tiffany’s so he could learn how to set the date on his watch, then i came home and had the best crap ever.

jamie printed out a pic he took of me when he and deb visited us last summer.

we watched funny games last nite, it’s good and scary and will make you very stressed, it’s kind of clockwork orangey in a sense. anyway, tim roth stars in it, i say oh yeah that’s the dude in dawn of the dead, fil says no, i say yes, then a bet is placed for 20 bones. basically, the guy in dawn of the dead (jake weber) has no business LOOKING EXACTLY LIKE TIM ROTH and vice versa, GEEZ!

try and tell who is who in the following pictures:

what the fuck right?!

the first one is tim, then jake, tim, jake, tim, jake.

this post got me out of doling over twenty bucks, WORLD I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT PHIL IS RIGHT AND I AM WRONG.

+++

oh hey and now lets talk about HOW SKINNY I AM AGAIN RIGHT NOW it’s been like 24 hours at least. i tried on this dress last week and went against my disease of having to walk out with at least something every time i walk into an h&m, thought about it some, then forgot about it until i saw this picture on sass‘s blog, and then immediately wanted it again:

anyway, it’s sass’s fault for blogging this picture, it was only 16 bucks anyway, she picked it up for me yesterday and oh right the skinny moral of this bit is i am wearing that dress over an entire outfit and it’s a size 6.

MEEEEEEEEE

by fil, cos i said ferrets were rodents.

guess how many lectures i receive daily and win a prize!