captured these scam artists ha! what they do is hand you a thick stack of papers stapled together as if it were a pamphlet then you keep walking with it and they follow you and tell you about black history month or some other mumbo jumbo and then ask for 2 dollars and you’re like what? they say the book is two dollars, then you give it back and keep walking. they’ve been at this racket for a long time now, they’re essentially a real life equivalent of that nigerian email scam and no not because of the colour of their skin, i mean, the scam is. even dressing up like respectable businessmen too, how shady. there’s not one official thing about them. like they give a fuck if you care about black history month. one time my friend (big tall black dude) said yeah pfft hahhahaha passing the papers back no thanks i can just google this.
buddy was not feeling my photography bug, so what asshole. sometimes they get really aggressive and demand money. um in my world you do not give something to someone and then say it’s two dollars, especially on an unsuspecting chap, shoving papers into my hand is not a legally binding contract so back off!
the interview went really well, it was fun, green room let us have the upstairs (closed during the day) nice and quiet. we discussed working on a raymi show together too which i’m pumped about.
the genius what is me realized that pixelated painting is of a nude woman.
then off for a tan.
and sashimi, fil pointed out this thing, i said oh the dragon roll looks like a dragon how nice, no he says, it looks like a DICK!
if you can believe it i finally sorted through the box of my shit my dad gave me two months ago, it was like final straw go through it day lest fil come home switch contacts for glasses and turn into MEAN FIL then the nite is fucking RUINED.
me: generally most girls decide to not dig me, it’s been that way my whole life
i told my whole family to watch me on tv tonite, no too busy, will you tape it? uh? NO. try at least pretending to care first.
i’m glad and not glad that they didn’t include the stupid fat faces i made
everyone is either married, engaged, or has kids what is this the eighties?
i wanted some tea-set privacy bad so i went to the den and poked myself in the eye then cried for a while and the rest of the family pictures from that day my eye is bloodshot wow the shit i remember.
we went to the island and i bought those redbull-sized cans of wine so the whole walking part wasn’t so boring i have a bullshit attention span like oh i’m still walking?
kelly ripa is a monster and totally redeems herself.
i didn’t spend the last 3 or so months practising fucked up eating strategies and starvation tactics to lose 20lbs to NOT hang out in front of strangers all day in a tiny bikini.
yeah we walked all the way to the centre of a forest for a shitty waterfall so fil could read a plaque about it.
the trees will be protected though right cos i have loads of memories of a tree.
oh right the eternal search for MORE when you already HAVE EVERYTHING and it is PERFECT. fucking asshole.
and should i eat a massive burrito for dinner or eat a XXXXXL bag of movie popcorn?
ok i know you are all dying to know what course of action we took last nite so here it is:
me: yeah i know that i think it’s just funny to ask for maintenance records of a speed gun do you want to see the records of my blowdryer too?
and now it is hot dog time don’t worry i will fucking kill myself before you get the chance
PS. I can’t go for more than a day without checking your blog. You are very talented.
i’m guessing the majority of my readers look like this.
i was most proud of this guy, he was the end of the loaf and had all these bread pockets to shove chicken and cheese and basil into i am a fag.
I’M TRYING TO DO SOME PAINTING BUT THIS LITTLE KID IS SLAMMING A ROCK OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN AGAINST A POLE
tube tops, hair extensions, wedge flip flops leave me alone you are not on your way back from laguna fucking beach!
aimoo said in school in alliston kids said she was brown and ate weird food. don’t you just love white trash?
WE WERE STANDING STILL IN THE DARK AND THEN GAVE UP AND I USED MIKE AS A GUIDE TO LEAD ME TO THE HARBOUR AND HE WALKED THROUGH EVERY SINGLE FUCKING BRANCH LEAF EVERYTHING SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE
ps my nose is psychadelic fluorescent red i need a nose mask.
here’s a picture of how domesticated and boring i am, actually two pictures, the only pictures i took yesterday, and i am not in either of them, god can you befuckinglieve it?
we’re on a turkey binge right now, it’s healthier for you cos those guys require less “antibiotics and shit to raise” according to fil (and if you try to start a debate in my comments about this you are not only banned from my blog you are banned from the planet) and also this was my first time cooking turkey all by myself and neither one of us died from food poisoning so that’s awesome.
i also worked out yesterday for the first time since may 21 (ipod’s fault!)(i know how lay-zee) and my forearms are beat, wicked sore. later on i’m going to be interviewed (on camera) for something i forget (not really) and i asked for questions to practice my answers but they never came. feh. i remember the closing night of my art show i was ridiculously intoxicated (blizzard, not so many people showed)(no biggie i sold EVERYTHING off that nite anyway) and i was babbling to this dude about what i felt about social networking sites and other garbage and i guess he was either super wasted himself or i am actually a genius cos he NEEDS me for his piece. originally it was going to be done here, i scrapped that, i would tell you where it’s going to be so you can stare at me from a table across the room but i think i’m going to need all the (minimal) concentration i have to power through this.
as you can imagine there were loads of fuckfaces there, but free food, tons of beer tickets and cankles and thunderthighs and club district dudes to make fun of
these guys create the magic that is the crap what is this blog.
here is a boring exciting convo/fight for you singles to read to bask in the glory what is long-term commitment:
i have something to say, you are all annoying assholes.
i’m mostly a fucking bitch to people in a what i think is a jokey way, half the time it goes over well and the person has a raging boner for me then they don’t leave.
me: i was in the middle of bragging about myself and all my amazing attributes and then i brought you up in the most passive of ways, it was like straight out of our coolness rules guide, like i was tossing a package of chips in slow motion to some guy without even looking
dear rich people, deeming something a panty-remover does not make it so.
i told ron sexsmith strawberry blond was one of my favourite songs and he said oh should we play that one? YES. he did. then afterward he said thanks for mentioning it cos they never know what songs to do.
I don’t know how you deal with this abuse from a bunch of petty shitheads who sit around all day waiting for your every move that they will then attempt to copy and call their own.
i said that too. just in case the nerds forget that they are the problem not the solution.
i am squirly waiting for fil to bring me back a shawarma, statcounter is cacked right now so one of my obsessive online activities is out (i NEED to know how many retards are cruising my blog at all hours) as well as haloscan being gay and my blog loading slow and waiting for these videos to load for centuries and and and! oh look here’s one now! you can skip it if you want but be sure to watch parts 2 3 and 4.
part 1
side pony gets scrapped in video 2 cos it highlighted my “working” and “concentrating” facial expression – read: fatface.
this one is LOADS more interesting, in fact, you probably shouldn’t have watched part 1 at all.
part 2
oh yeah, duffy isn’t french, she’s english. no you’re stupid.
