cleaned kitchen.

tried to work out, lasted 15 mins.

picked up cid for a poor me hug, backfired.

now i will read in the tub and drown in my tears.

KIDDING i meant slit my wrists.

double kidding (everyone knows when i kill myself i will be in a wheelchair and i will gently wheel myself off a cliff) gonna read in the tub until i am finished reading in the tub then i will go eat all of toronto and buy wine and THEN i will drown in my tears.

somehow my exercise shorts got mangled wtf? i’ll show you a picture later and why does it smell like crazy varnish pcp outside fully regretting opening the sliding glass door.

well at least i don’t look like this:

i mean WHY DON’T I LOOK LIKE THIS??????????????!

no one wants to hang out with me for my fil-free play date tonite FEEL SORRY FOR ME RIGHT NOW!

dudes i think i’m high from that varnish, score.

oh boy NOW look what i’ve gone and done!

BYE!

coug skirt (was my mom’s ha!) $5

the back

it’s a biggie, you can pull it down over your fat ass or you can rest it on your love handles.

suzy shier tent

was also my mom’s too big for my taste but pretty cute reminds me of the budweiser golf girl commercials.

$5

h&m what used to be a hoodie, i removed the hood, $5.

i think it’s a size 8.

even though fil had pints at lunch.

we couldn’t agree on a movie to see (rilah we will burn through that gift card yet don’t you worry) so we saw nothing, fil didn’t want to go down to paramount where we could have seen harold and kumar (why i don’t know)(ALSO i think we could have used my gift card at the bar there so there’s that covered) and i didn’t want to see iron man (yet guys, yet, don’t lecture me about this movie what’s premise looks no different than hulk or any other marvel movie but mostly hulk)(ps. i’m basically getting aunt flo today so you know what my delicate state is like) and fil doesn’t want to see any other movie at varsity even though it is my turn to choose the movie we see also hello it’s MY gift card, ungh. so we stayed in watched antm and rock of love and then i started feeling antsy and stir crazy and wanted to go out to do something and fil turned it into a big drinking metaphor and snapped at me for turning on my computer and the nite went to shit. we toyed over going out or just staying in the more i whined and felt like YOU DON’T GET WHAT I AM SAYING then finally said nah forget it lets just stay in as it was close to 11 by then. i’m so bitter over it i don’t even want to do anything tonite. then we watched tv and i read my stupid book and couldn’t fall asleep til 2 anyway.

i met with syd yesterday to give her the argyle sweater and i took her picture on this tree bench and some fat white bald guy walking by with pizza barks at me be careful it’s a tree (yeah i know idiot) like clearly it is a goddamn tree and don’t talk to me annex! what was i going to lift it up over my head and throw it into traffic?

if you need me i will be fuming on the couch.

MOM DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!!!

enjoy the mundane.

right now i’m uploading the gayest video ever (look up /\) where i am wrapping mother’s day gifts and i make ten million double chins in it (can’t help it i come from a long line of fat face talkers)(thank you kerouacs!) it shall be processed shortly. so i guess these dumb pictures of me are to make up for the fatness of the forthcoming video. MOM DON’T LOOK AT THIS POST OR WATCH THE VIDEO EITHER AND TOD DON’T SHOW IT TO ANDREA (FIL’S MOM)!

he hates the tinkling sounds, refuses to miss the unloading of the dishwasher for the world, despite them.

fil says these shorts give me moose knuckle ungh FUCK FIL! he tells me this in the parking lot of loblaws no less totally cock-blocking my game so i was self conscious walking around the supermarket all i needed cos i was dressed like a total whore already thanks. i also had a starvation headache and a bun head headache.

ian commissioned me a million years ago to paint him something and i am finally getting around to doing it. it must have the appearance of length and be a fuseli nightmare, somewhat. i’m going to flank each side of the canvas with raymi style roman pillars/columns? DON’T COPY MY IDEA! this canvas is 18×24 (7.99 from midoco! so cheap! i want to buy one the size of an entire wall! 47.99!)

we did this recipe for supper.

in lieu of wasabi paste and mayo we just bought horseradish mayo and it will blast your fucking head off.

cut up too much peppers didn’t bother slicing the other half of the yellow guy, we used arugula instead of watercress, tasty.

try to get the carrots as matchstick as possible cos if you load up too much mayo you will be stuck chewing forevs and your nose will start running from the hot.

blurry cos i was so excited, let the steak sit for ten minutes once you remove from heat and before you slice it up.

mayo plop, then arugula, then a carrot yellow and red pepper, try it that way first then add or remove whatever you fancy, it’s perfect the way it is though.

i hope you’re not starving right now.

i like prepping meals like this cos you get fuller quicker from waiting it out and you eat less, well until your wine munchies kick in and you go for round two.

i think i’m going to go off red meat for a month and see what that does to me and my heart and my waistline.

i would make these again, very easy and tasty.

my defective party socks and trying to nap away my hangover during a LOUD rehearsal, didn’t work all it did was make me cranky.

fookin’ starved i found some pizza pizza marinara sauce a tiny shovel and someone’s leftover soup crackers.

me: they took away the ab thing i use in the gym and the mats and little girl weights wtf more proof i am hated in this stupid fucking building
I HAD TO DO SIT UPS THE OLD FASHIONED WAY!

Phil’s new status message – Telethon – Emily Haines & The Soft Skeleton 4:47 PM

me: and my hair is in a bun and it is hurting my head
oh and dont think i forgot to save the laundry for you to do when you get home i think ive done it 4 times in a row by now or something
i painted one of the big canvases
i am a machine
oh and i had spinach too
FINE I WILL TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE
you’ve been blogged
oh nice the fact that yer listening to emily haines was also captured
burn

++

who speaks spanish? tell me what they’re saying about me here, scroll to notorious b.l.o.g. third posting down.

aimoo and i spent the afternoon together yesterday (her birthday) we went for the sush then got some cider and played cooking mama it was a nice time. oh and i dyed my hair while she worked on cooking mama, she has the jones for that game big time now, anyone who plays it gets it bad.

what is up classy bitches?

favourite packaging ever!

haha total award for least false advertising in a product category cos yep this is exactly how douchey you will look when using one of these.

i forgot how pale black hair makes your complexion.

uh right mandy we get it, embrace your womYnhood. barf.

doods, how’s it hangin’?

i wanted a better pic with this car but fil had to pee, thanks fil!