guess what everyone it’s 4.51am and i’m having an anxiety attack, killer fun!

no more booze for me!

ungh my eyes and head i want to sleep fil is up too getting ready to go take pictures of pitt’s right to play marathon, he’s watching some thing on the holy grail knights templar like how much does one really need to know about those cats god there’s like hundreds of different mini docs about them essentially saying the same shit i think watching one will make you good and informed, no? i woke up fil rooting through his night table looking for ativan (leftover from my nola trip i am NOT a chill traveler) and he’s all in a panic saying it’s in the other drawers i take one (i think they’re point 5s, not much) and he’s like i wish you would have waited a half hour when my alarm went off oh i’m sorry for being so selfish with my panic attack right now haha.

i also ate like a pig yesterday maybe all that chocolate fountain chocolate went straight to my brain. i ate a sausage before they were “officially” serving dinner and got told off by the help and then this dude sees me coming up the stairs with it and says where did you get that so i show him the spread downstairs and say you will not believe your eyes when you see it and then he gets in trouble too stuffing a hamburger in his mouth pretending to be mournful about it going oh i’m so sorry shove stuff stuff chew chew swallow really truly terribly sorry chew chew swallow, it was funny.

ungh i feel like reinventing myself thank you menstruation, guys what kind of outfit should i wear today help me i’m tired of my clothes!

this picture pretty much sums up what it’s like here on the funny farm.

leftover undrunked wine from when mary-ann was over haha we tried!

ungh so hung and we have to start drinking again at 4 for a welcome to toronto party for erin there’s a pool there brad keeps mentioning like it is even anywhere close to pool season after one sip of booze i’ll fall in orange county styles with all my clothes on cos i’ll be schizo loaded.

here’s alicia’s drunk text:

Raym’s the best part is you are somethin else. Like a totally out of this world girl. And well you may have just started a movement. Ha. A movement. I sound like a rap song. Read this slowly. In the am.

which is in response to my message (which i am CLEARLY ripping on her previous one a few posts back):

I think since ive begun drinking i hav a much deeper appreciation for the existential existance of our generation’s entire being blogs r just the beginning

followed it up with this gem:

Hope yr high rite now cos i hav a doozy: i stared into the universe and the universe stared back. woahness.

HAPPY SATURDAY FRIENDS!

lets look at the nite backwards

brad shows up wasted after being the only one of us who got in to see the queens of the stone age at the el mo (dick) he put on his hood and matt was also tanked and totally jeals of the hooded leather, oh yeah matt lost his lense cap too think it was during the arm wrestling matches.

that chick emily on the end brought up a case of sparks from the states i stealthily poured one into my empty whiskey glass just as sean is telling me he’s been tossed out of green room three times for smuggling in booze. that stuff is malt liquor moonshine energy drink basically you can pick up a car with your bare hands after downing a few. we don’t have it in canada cos why?

hold on tight baby nice gorilla arm.

plenty of rude bitches were on the scene last nite specially during bathroom time god why are you in a hole of a bar if you can’t take a little joke here and there small talk or at least get the hell ut of my way so i can wash my hands.

emilio was in town again, really? does that kid ever even leave? oh yeah scotty caps locks said he noticed i’ve been commenting on street boners lately haha that’s very specific, i guess we move in the same internetz circles.

anita texted me a few times from across the couch for some reason her number just won’t program when she calls or txts but it’s there in my contacts anyway i was truly baffled like WHO IS THIS MYSTERIOUS PERSON WHO KNOWS MY THOUGHTS ARE THEY SPYING ON ME RIGHT NOW???? i show my phone to matt and say someone keeps texting me wtf who are they and she jumped on us omg you idiots ahha yeah guess you had to have been there knee deep in sangria.

sober sarah = crown diet pop and some red wine ahhaha

sarah lost to anita and emilio i told her she basically won over me and there is no point in battling i’m a huge weakling.

oh yeah marek was even there for a little while.

then before this was dinners.

basil duck yum!

green curry yum!

oh i guess i’ll cut this post in half the rest are just pictures of all the dumb outfits i tried on before going out last nite.

i’ve got a plethora of wickedly gay texts to transcribe for you lot.

i put up some more picture from nola if anyone cares.

maybe this is why they cut my shorts?

omfg! ahah oh canada love the relevance of this fact The town’s website says it’s famous for a herd of rare white moose that lives nearby. here‘s another article on this mysterious thing. don’t let that train anywhere near toronto dudes!

oh yeah i also had a to bribe mary-ANN into hanging out with my last nite i said I WILL GIVE YOU SOME CLOTHES and then she came over i was like fuck now i actually have to do this. i gave her my american apparel blue velour shirt (don’t even have it in my colour anymore) that i could have gotten ten million dollars for and my 80s red and black striped shirt with the zipper i got from le chateau in manhattan when i was 18 and this guy at a bar told me i looked fucking awesome like so madonna in it once I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON IT MARY ANN!

kidding, sorry you ralphed.

oh great fil is home, now he gets to see how i live like a sloth all day long, shower time guys.

after strong-arming alicia into coming to hang in my hood at green room last nite i bailed and convinced anti-social feeling poopee to babysit me instead and we got tanked after eating sushi and watched the king of kong a fistful of quarters oh man i HATE billy mitchell SO MUCH! read this fourfour review of it. and then we played cooking mama i think poopee barfed when she got home oops. oh her real name is mary. the only reason i bailed on risha was cos this guy was not feeling “on” yesterday oh and i didn’t wash my hair and all of alicia and her friends have like perfect girly hair and outfits, not a good posse to immerse yourself in when you’re feeling off and fat and suicidal. what else. oh we went to big sushi for a change, not bad, the waitresses say EXCUSE ME when they bring stuff to your table every time kinda cute, i saw the dude who thinks he is hunter s thompson that i wrote about before seeing him at the xiu xiu concert:

there was this cat in the very front we were commenting on during sunset, he was sitting alone, skinny, old man detective hat, glasses, chewing a tiny stogey, reading catch-22!!! he was hunter s-ing out hard, not even the coolest of cool can pull that off seriously. anyway he was in the same spot all nite long and was really feeling xiu xiu like understood the clanging you could tell to the very being of his soul i said to fil he must be thinking the chick working the keys is the yin to his yin.

full blog post here it’s a winner. ok i’m going to update this now cos alicia is frothing at the mouth for something to read.

ungh i have a sake beer cider wine headache and cramps and i think there is an exercise conspiracy against me in this building cos someone actually cut a chunk out of the shorts i wear when i work out not a tear from the washing machine and if i cut them i would have noticed ok uploading a picture of them right now, first the weights and ab thing i use and mats are removed NOW my shorts oh this is so seinfeld i think i need to get a job and away from all these squirly fruity old fruit loops who constantly feed me dirty looks even when i hold the door open for them cos their arms are so puny and ancient. do you know what it feels like knowing that the person who is fake smiling at you is bitter and hates you for no fucking reason and you encounter one of them every goddamn day right in the very place you live every old lady here is a total witch to me!

for seers where did the rest of that blue piping go?

Highwaisted: no update yet, coooooome on

me: well then why are you going to write a post that is going to hurt peoples feelings as long as i am at the top of the list

Highwaisted: oh thank you for the cute clothes/hair comment. that is fucked about your shorts.
very strange.

me: true true can you picture fil as a junglist

ALICIA’S MARIJUANA TEXT:

I think since I’ve started blogging I have become much more aware of my surroundings, like I take a deeper appreciation for every moment that passes because I always rate it on whether its worth writing about. And yes I am stahoned.

AHHAHAHhHAhAHAHAHHAhAHHAhAHHAhAHHAhHAHAhAHHAhAHHAHAhAhAHAAAHAHAhAHhahaHAhAha

what to do when you are an out of your mind period monster

dudes i posted this like 25 minutes ago and already over 160 people have watched it wtf my blog hasn’t had that many hits in the last 25 mins who linked it or who is perving to it hardcore?

ok now we’re at 201, guess this retarded outfit and dance ensemble is finally takin’ off?

update 834 ha ya pervs

yes i realise the majority of hits are from people searching ‘modest mouse float on’ ahhahah