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there’s a douche who lives around the corner

in one of the 600 frat houses nearby and he has a british accent and every time we walk by it seems like he amps it up a bit, like he got it into his head that this is how he will get toronto pussy, his advantage over the rest of the monkeys in the fraternity. well yesterday i finally looked up through my shades to see which lout this guy is, and i am happy to report that he actually looks like a monkey. and he’s a jock. they were all jocked out yesterday in fact and the high school part of me is always prepped and expecting something to be said when i pass by so i always have a few zingers in my pockets, but nothing is said other than this british accented puffing up fuck i wish i could remember what he said yesterday, i should start writing these gems down and practice them phonetically with a brit affect, it just really seems put on and i wonder if he ever gets called out for it, mark holmes-style at mod club.

sometimes there’s the good drunk we pass by, the eccentric kid in the sport coat totally ripped and happy to see us, pats us on the back, then we bump into him a few hours later a few streets over and we’re like family, real endearing like.

omg what should i wear tonite guuuuuuys? don’t forget i’m not babysitting any of you at imperial pub before mg’s show, though pitt plans to start getting soused early, i was toying with not even drinking today at all, we’ll see how that goes. doors are 7, first act at 8, then matt at 9 or so, i guess we’ll be at the pub for 7 or something?

Imperial Pub Tavern

54 Dundas Street East, Toronto, ON, M5B1C7


oh my purse bit the dust, zipper-wise, and if this thing came in moccasin tan i’d get it, but it doesn’t, so i won’t. any suggestions?

sniff sniff 4 dollar salvation army purse thing. might have to bust out my grandma’s old faux business tote satchel thing tonite.

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