WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT THIS PICTURE!

that is all.

no it isn’t, i suggest a cuteoverload for inanimate objects like buttons and ribbons and omfg drooooool who am i martha stewart fuck i’m getting old.

well at least i have a stupid ponytail tan line now. i’ve also got a zit, well two, below my nose, summer zits are the worst.

fil is sick, he stayed home today. i have vanilla and mocha yogurt freezing in the freezer and some blackberries too, i’m going to try and make him a smoothie. rented lars and the real girl last nite (didn’r make it out to brad’s show sorry!) you so need to see it, phenomenal, totally totally totally amazing it is, i have no idea how ryan gosling was able to keep a straight face.

i’m pissed at myself cos i had a wicked zinger post composed in my head last nite just as i was about to drift off and i told myself to get up and write it down, but figured it was so good there’s no way i could possibly forget it. it’s gone. it involved fil and a joke about a refrigerator and a lot of exclamation marks to boot.

i invented a new low fat/carbs soup last nite, beef broth, brocolli, frozen (pre-cooked) chicken breasts, and some sriracha – it was really tasty, reminiscent flavour of bi bim bap or a way healthier kim chi, sans noodles and chemicals.

oh yeah and my new purple/black checked shirt dress thing i just got has three rips in it, the first of which happened at ted’s the nite of mgmt, i spread eagled to get myself up out of the church pew seat and the bottom button tore a bit, and then last nite when i got back from a wine run pulling it up over my head both pockets tore at their top corners WTF not like i’m andre the giant or anything and i know h&m’s shit be a little delicate (cheap), but not THAT delicate. i will consider exchanging it while i stare at my cindy crawford zit in the jazz mirror on the exercise bike right now for 25 minutes.

aw.

my fondness for this little monkey, even i know how bananas it is (not that bananas ‘cos as we all know i’ve dressed like a complete slob my entire life then thankfully someone famous brought boho chic into the limelight for me), haha, monkey, bananas, anyway.

i know it looks like bai ling, but it isn’t, it’s mkate. bonus below is her sister’s vogue shot:

also somewhat bai lingisgh. oh well.

oh i really feel like wearing my gaudy jewellery today and maybe that dude i saw panhandling in greenwich village yesterday will sell me his shirt?

growing out bangs as we speak.

she could totally be wearing more bracelets i don’t care.

babe. yes i feel wicked creepy right now, i feel like you.

acid yoko ono look.

when i go out to get milk or something banal like that and i don’t feel like showering, i look at this picture and say yep you’re totally good to go.

i love this guy because she looks like the midget in total recall, just the way her legs are like 4 miles apart when she stands like that.


couldn’t find an apt enough comparison still, oh well.

those are her sister’s shoes, i read it in the nylon article jeesh shut up!

her arches must be SO busticated at the end of every day, i bet when she gets inside one of her bodygurads carries her around on a big satin hippy’d out pillow, i know i would.

perfection.

slip me a low five mkate, i can hang!

not feelin’ the 3-d specs and on anyone else those potato sack pants would be lethal, like lethal inject me lethal cos you look like a cow and i don’t know where you end you just keep going.

i think the one on the left she’s amidst the wee hours walk of shame, i think i read that on gofugyourself. anyway no, in answer to your question, i definitely do not have a “life”. oh ok here‘s the post about it, she’s not actually walk of shaming, they’re just suggesting that’s how she looks. and whatever, the chicks who pen GFY are old plain cunts who play it safe.

that quote is hilarious.

i learned this just yesterday so don’t go all restraining order on me ok, that chick behind her is her 18 year old sister lizzie who is 5’7 omfg this is almost over i swear BUT most importantly, mkate is wearing a fucking horseback riding stop for the nite and rest western blanket and unforgiven boots!

sigh. i told riza yesterday that if there were two of me i would have a better chance too.

the money oh the money, if i had the money can you imagine how much more wonderful my wardrobe could be. i’m this close to a depression spiral right now, easy.

k bye!!!

you’ll see just who you’ve been

my blog is getting mad traffic today over that natalie portman post i did you see, take a little time out of your day for something stupid and it will pay off, well, most of the time. who should i do next?

had a late dinner after ANTM (stacy ann is finally gone, every time she opens her mouth my skin crawls) at the victory last nite, sat at the bar, they were playing nice sitar indian tunes it was nice, i had the soup (fresh that day, carrot ginger) and caesar salad, fil had a burger, and whatever was on the cask, you could tell him it was rain water soaked through garbage from the back parking lot and as long as it was on the cask, he’d drink it. what’s with geezers and their gross beers? blech.

i always feel just a little bit weepy when i see pictures of churchill, reminds me of my grandpa.

we’re going to the el mo (cringe) tonite for brad’s band the evelyn room, you should come with, they go on around 10.30

Dearest Aunt Raymi,

Yours,
Melissa

dearest melissa,

well first off, long distance relationships for me are out of the question, i’ve cheated on every dude, well i think there was only one, and he sure as hell cheated on me too. you should read my friend liane‘s blog, she lives in shanghai, has for a long time and has a successful long distance relationship somehow

so basically you have to follow him there, like scarlett johansson in lost in translation, except china not japan

your number one thing is money, you need it, you need to have a job, because every single fight you have will be centered around it if you don’t have it, combined with a new environment and minimal friends to bounce frustrations off of, that is an explosive combo and your relationship will suffer for it. as long as you both have money, then you’re cool, all the other things you guys normally bicker about will still be present.

if you are viewing this as a temporary thing to do or are at the stage where you need to find yourself, do you think china is the right place for it? i mean, it’s a natural thing to assume that a big move will fix whatever we don’t like about our current situation. but if it’s love and you really aren’t giving anything up dream-wise, then why not eh? you can always come home, the downfall is there’s a possibility of coming home alone. give it a try, if it fails, you can say to your boyfriend you tried his thing now it’s his turn to try your thing, if you plan to stick together come what may, and really, how long does it take to learn ceramics anyway?

love aunt raymi

+++

BARF! For Mr Deaves the sexual relationship was “absolutely fantastic”. yeah, thanks for the mental picture. well at least they have senses of humour, i mean, you’d have to, by naming your incest spawn a name that rhymes with incest. guys shh be quiet here comes incest celeste!

ps. i found your mom’s blog.

Oooh, if you take those blue panty shots into photoshop, do the magic wand to select just the blue part and click Auto-Levels (Makes see-through clothing mostly disappear) you get a better view of Raymi’s Bush. I highly recommend it.
G. I. Poo | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | Homepage | 04.16.08 – 7:05 pm | #

probably the fruitiest comment yet.
raymi | Edit comment Delete comment | Email | Homepage | 04.16.08 – 7:12 pm | #

OMFG!!!! do NOT hit that dude’s blog url, you’ve been warned!

remind me to make up some jokes about people who run/jog and try to hold conversations at the same time and how much they make me laugh, ok well i guess no need to remind me now.