gator.

rusty.

coffin pool revealed! dead man’s float anybody? (guess how many times i made that joke yesterday).

not so coffiny from this angle.

bye

me: this is me

Chloe: thats how Ive felt this year.

me: ha

Chloe: all my most important relationships have been maintained long distance
online

me: i feel that fat when ive been online too long on the couch

Chloe: I just start to feel soft
the one time i had an full time office job I got fat and soft
and cranky

me: yikes
unemployment is the key to a trim waistline

Chloe: ha.

me: im uploading likely the most embarrassing dance video ever
fil went to be a lesbian at noahs

Chloe: I dont know, I was pretty embarrassed by that video of me dancing around you at karoake

me: oh right!

Chloe: i mean fuck am i really that lame when i drink

me: but im singing so well
it was good lame!!!
in god’s country/chloe’s awesome dance skills

Chloe: sometimes when I do something, I imagine some overweight 45 year old single man doing it
if it is pathetic on on him, it cant be that great for me

me: anything a 45 yr old overweight man does is not good
bad comparison
picture your mom doing it
blah
ha

Chloe: haha. oh that is even worse

me: ive seen how my mom dances
cougarlike
and we all make the same I AM DANCING dance face
like I AM SO HOT RIGHT NOW
which makes it worse

Chloe: ok- that video. dont see how it is embarrassing

me: which vid

Chloe: oh fuck i hate catching myself making the dancing face

me: did i send u the right clip

Chloe: and I cant help it either

me: its the same face i make when i try on a hat
in the mirror

Chloe: it is a video of the highway

me: like that hat was invented for me
oh ok buzznet links always fuck up

Chloe: ahha, it is the same face my mom makes when she is fixing her hair in the mirror

me: i meant to send u the one of me singing and u dancing around me like a carousel

Chloe: or basically anytime she looks in the mirror

me: yeah me too
ive noticed ive been pursing my lips a lot unnecesarily lately
my nana does it
GOD IM DOING IT RIGHT NOW

Chloe: ahha, I know now I cant stop.
Im going to have the worst thin old lady lips
and ill do it all the time

me: im going to have fat puckery ones with ten hundred lines coming out of them

Chloe: anus mouth pout

me: ungh yeah i had to delete a ton of pictures from last nite my lips looked like goatse
w/o lipstick

Chloe: ahha. funny

me: and the more you drink the more you do it
i think i lost my A-game

Chloe: this is so embarrassing I swear to god dont show people this:
(picture url)
me: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Chloe: yeah

me: you are so grooving
i just showed fil he appreciates it

Chloe: hah. fil is allowed to see

me: he chuckled
where is this

Chloe: I saw that and was like oh god the dance face is SO lame
and now i cant not think about it when i dance
RELAX YOUR MOUTH

me: its a bad white people trait
we get all amped to dance we overshoot it entirely
like this is my BIG MOMENT DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE FACE

Chloe: ha true.Im trying to picture a black person doing it, and I just cant
then again, now that I think about it, a rarely dance with black people.
weird

me: they have a dance face but for them its like an extra part of their dance routine like it’s meant to be
like in music videos
picturing that
if they got a white person extra in the background they’re like well great we cant use this
its good lame! (your picture)
you do lame good
lamenotlame.blogspot.com hey you should register that oh wait YOU DID ALREADY

Chloe: ahha. if I ever change the name, it will be to ‘its a good lame’
or: youdolamegood

me: thats very hooky a la martha stewart

i found out last nite that this guy passed away in january, sigh here’s an email he sent me once

world domination

S. Sinn

it’s weird when internet buddies die, when they lived they were like friendly ghosts, intangible dreamy pals, one day you think we will hang together and share all the good stories, save up the best ones for when we finally meet and i’ll buy you that drink i promised.

take’r easy bro.

last nite was dank’s surprise brithday party that we didn’t go to EVEN THOUGH I PAINTED MY FINGERNAILS TO MATCH MY SWEATER because it was at montana’s (i know) and all those guys are old with kids, we were going to show up after they all ate (after the surprise too which was a miscommunication (not on my part radmad!) who goes to a surprise party after the surprise?) anyway we went out to green room with rad and craig and anita instead, happy 40th dank!

i can’t believe you anita, so stupidly generous and thoughtful.

every time we hang sarah and i talk about our favourite story which is the first time we met and how much she DIDN’T not like me haha, it’s a good story.

these chicks to my right behind me gave us cut eye A LOT, whatever the ally sheedy look isn’t working you have bigger problems right now honey.

PORNOTIME!

guess how old craig is.

before i got up to go to the bathroom i said now look at all the people who check me out (dudes when i drink my ego inflates like cray cray shut up) and the only one who did was this hot little tattooed asian chick you can see her arm in this picture, she nodded and smiled at me like she could read my mind that she knew that i knew that we were on a wavelength ok i can’t finish this stupid joke, basically if i were a dude i would be one of those white dudes with an asian lady and be all in denial over my fetish. how funny are those dudes other than EXTREMELY and not on purpose either. oh i miss ward.

radmad is looking younger and younger which is good cos she’s essentially a fossil by today’s standards wow ouch i must be in pre-menses phase already.

craig had a mild interest in a girl across the room who looked like natalie portman (i thought so) until i pointed out her huge forehead. oh me don’t we love me.

look paige it’s that couch you blogged about.

lets play guess what nationality i am tonite.

oh ‘nita.

ok enough craig.

i asked him to take my picture and this is what he does.

TWICE! i didn’t ask you to zoom!

fuck i’ll do it myself what else is new.

d’awww.

when we left this dude peddles up to fil asking us for a smoke and says he wishes he had a nice girl like me, he’d have a girlfriend too if he was born white but he’s native and fil goes BUT I’M OJIBWE (part!) ahahahah then the guy goes I’D KEEP THAT TO YOURSELF oh man why are we such native magnets you’re welcome pitt.

then i made us this and we watched a thing on insects on national geographic on demand that we just discovered last nite can’t wait to watch them all FOR FREE.

then i fell asleep with a drink in my hand and it spilled ALL OVER ME my hair underwear body bed pillow everywhere so i had to get my big towel and sleep on that, fil woke up this morning wtf why is your towel here and i had to tell him and i was really bummed about it (that’s never happened to me before) and he laughed his head off, maybe i was in my sleep going for another sip and then sloshed it all over my head, must have. then of course fil has to tell me his falling asleep with a drink in his hand skills (i’ve heard this a million times) still holding his beverage yeah yeah shut up. he’s all WHY IS YOUR UNDERWEAR ON THE FLOOR well WHY DO YOU THINK JESUS SHUT UUUUUUUUUP!

1:13 in is the best part of this entire movie, my brother and i (and fil) imitate this exchange all the time.

salty meats!

answer to that stupid cat desk box the universe continues to email me daily ps. fil found it before all of you did.

and if you get cold we gotchoo covered.

whether you like it or not.

alrightskies, onward to totally mad cookin’ skills hour of power with rayms! i call this batch of awesome: FINALLY DIDN’T LOOK LIKE BARF!

first throw in your peppers, or celery, as i fucked up, celery takes longer than peppers to do their thing as in, become the opposite of raw and hard, those lil fuckers. i like ‘em cos they’re a nothing veg that fills you up, am i right anorexics? douse this shit in oil.

take another picture of it, enjoy the smell of cooking celery, nice innit?

then as it browns some and cooks more chop up garlic, stir periodically while spying on fil and simultaneously jam out to whatever tunes you have on your pod.

throw in garlic (2 cloves) turn down heat a bit so you don’t burn it, some ass will always tell you don’t put the garlic in too soon cos you’ll burn it and you’ll be forced to tell them to eat your penis, then you go and burn the garlic anyway, whatevs dude there’s always more garlic where that came from nahmean. throw some torn up basil leaves in there for good measure. stir it all around like you just don’t care wow this is getting gay eh? add more garlic if you want, i did. you’re going to be waiting for the celery to cook awhile.

throw in egg whites, i used half a carton, the big guy, 500ml let it settle before you touch it, i mean, you don’t have to, but why not avoid hovering and besides this is the part where you should be prepping your tomato anyway, cut up four big slices, salt and pepper them and jam them in the microwave for a minute, then you can start stirring this all around, fold it over with a spatula a few times. if you don’t know how to make scrambled eggs you are a RETARD stop reading my blog.

this is where we get fancy, plate it, throw some gobs of goat cheese where you plan to top it off with your tomato, oh yeah, flip your microwave tomato over and put it back in the microwave for 30 seconds, if the little slices are already looking cooked enough and soggy, don’t bother.

if you wanted you could put some more basil between the goat cheese and tomato, i didn’t, don’t be a goat cheese hog it will overpower the rest of this deliciousness.

carry this out to fil then comment aloud from the couch numerous times how fantastic this concoct. is, shovel it down.

skeptically ask fil if he really means it that it is really good tasting or if he is just pretending. the fanciness mile you went by topping it off with goat cheese and tomato will distract him from realizing you didn’t bother cooking the peameal to go alone with.

when you’re finished, tell him to get you a tallboy. spend the rest of the afternoon enjoying the smell of garlic on your fingertips in your underwear and 80s cat tank top then take a 20 minute power nap with cid and have a bath then write this blog post.

this is my ass.

and my personal faves i found myself two years back, can’t remember where:

:: Why all the sighs?

Hope to hear from you,
M

the sighs are just jokey malaise, and i suffer from depression but it’s more or less in check, and sadness is endearing i think, my boyfriend added the cock and balls, thanks for the concern.

your pal raymi

i dunno dudes…

aaaaand that would be my got laid last nite/hangover hair/face.

i guess it’ll be solid for the beach and wearing a bikini top mayhaps, otherwise alicia, you have inherited a new skirt.

fil didn’t even dog it, though he was on the fone and was likely just pacifying me.

we stayed in last nite, had webers burgers (me 1 bunless, fil 2 w/ bun) and watched into the wild (come on hurry up and DIE already asshole) and death at a funeral, v. funny.

what’s going on today guys?