i told fil i would forgo showering just so he wouldn’t do the laundry, yes let me tell you how this adds up. i view laundry as the dungeon master that holds you in its dungeon for 2 hours and you can’t go anywhere or do anything and not like i would even use those 2 hours productively anyway just the thought that i can’t do anything but wait ‘em out paralyzes and turns me into a sucky baby in jogging pants no no I’LL do it tomorrow by myself i promise! he’s like well you take a long time to get ready so i may as well do the laundry i’m like no i won’t see not showering today, there, decided!

what if i wanted to go on a long whimsical walk to the movie store and have a tan (like i’m allowed to do that during fil time!) and go for a drive RIGHT NOW, we wouldn’t be able to cos the clothes were in the dryer.

another thing that grinds my gears is the car wash, but you guys knew that already. i think i’m scarred from childhood, my dad taking me or my brother to the (diy) car wash, the unlucky one got to hang in the car reading a comic book or magazine that was purchased for us just for this event, while the other kid got to go to the mall with mom and possibly get candy and toys! wtf! so yeah, i think about that when fil makes us do the car wash on sundays, no! my time is wicked precious i canNOT do this. it makes me feel trapped and hyper, here’s a tip parents, if you want to punish your child, take them to the car wash, during winter, spend an hour lovingly soaping up your car while the little asshole freezes in their winter coat with the heat off (exhaust fumes, bad for the environment to keep it running obvs) glowering at you through the window from the back seat.

what else is a time waster, ungh, anything having to do with cleaning.

such a wonderful place sigh…

oh hai

now for the decadent stuff

SO MANY delightful little tins of jellies and spreads and EVERYTHING, next xmas gifts will all be purchased here.

i wonder if everyone living within a 1km radius of the cheese boutique is as fat as everyone living within 1km of a mcdonald’s.

upon walking in fil and i set our pace to retard, we were stupefied by the beauty what is this store, i’m trying really hard to hold back the gay right now.

here fil is having an orgasm.

everyone who works there is so nice it was a really great experience.

oh if all children ate candy like this instead of that plastic wrapped nickelodeon inspired garbage.

how offensive is this? oh it’s ok cos it’s high-end?

i know!

bye!

i bought an 8 year old cheddar, meat i forget the name of, a smelly cheese for fil and a vanilla cream soda = 25 bucks!

stinkiest meat ever. (delicious)

+++

I will send you a picture of the wedding at some point, because you may appreciate it. We did not invite any guests, and Renee bought a vintage dress with like a 30 foot train. So we let some photographers come, but no friends or family. And I did not want to be too cliched so instead of trying to outdo that dress, I went the other direction and got an army uniform (Dutch, actually). The pictures just look like war-bride 1943. It’s pretty good. -steve of lavender diamond

yay! these are great and haven’t even been touched up yet.

photos: rachel drake

that checkered skirt was impossible to jump in.

thanks shedoesthecity for the good times!

we went to a 6.30 show at sonic boom (used/new record/cd store) (downstairs) yesterday, the raveonettes, it was wickedly boring for me, i made a video of all the white people standing still even at the last jammiest song when you’d think people would cut loose a tad, no way not on bloor street no way! fil and matt were at the front the whole time and i milled around in the back and read an entire graphic novel and took pictures of record sleeves. i got a latte from starbuck’s even i was that bored and then almost fell down the stairs in front of everyone on my way back down, my right boot heel hooked onto the top stairs oh man i woulda left immediately and 40-odd hipsters would have been like A GIRL FELL DOWN THE STAIRS JUST BEFORE THE RAVONETTES SET BEST SHOW EVER.

i could not see one thing that was going on during the show cos they were sitting down and there was a hipster mob all around them, initially i was up by fil but felt really claustrophobic and annoyed by everyone’s pre-show silence and fake spectacles.

as i walked around pretending to study vinyl and 45s i thought what is wrong with me why do i totally not enjoy this shit how could i humour it before, i guess it’s a depression thing, never happy never sad just medium and the only way i can jazz it up is by drinking i guess.

emilio thinks fil has a full-blown music show addiction, or signs of it, to which we attempted to psycho-analyze last nite at green room, drunk.

toronto needs a new thing, for me.

steve of lavender diamond (<3) just emailed me out of the blue, he says the funniest thing is that bands now actually make me sleepy
the louder, the sleepier; heavy metal and I’m out like a light, sometimes standing on my feet and me too i say. i get tired of having to find an inner sanctum within myself not to upset the herd, standing really still and looking like you aren’t enjoying yourself takes a grand effort. if i could just lie down and draw during a show that would be nice. i think i’ve over-saturated myself with bands that aren’t very good or memorable and it’s spoiled the pot for the time being, for acts i actually enjoy.

oh i bought a new necklace.

and my ass tan line! diggit! badonka much?

and now for the serious.

grease monster hair day was yesterday.

when cid’s pupils are dilated the similarity is uncanny, uncanny!

then i put on my headband and we went out to get wings!

fil is paranoid that cid will fall asleep with his head over the ledge of this teeny basket and cut off the blood flow to his head, passing out and dying, so as precaution cid’s love partner is placed in the basket when we go out, yes this is all true.

the next post will be better i swear.

me at 19, incredibly baked from the blunt that was rolled on halloween but was lost in one of the many pockets of my army costume, found a month later then we walked from little italy to roncesvalles, stoned on hash. that mural’s been painted over. remember that day sheckie?

bye.

i didn’t know last nite was basically friday for us party animals until i was loaded in a 7-11 demanding doritos, i coulda gave’r a lil harder man! oh wasted thursday what is a friday. no worry, i feel destroyed right now anyway as yuje!

today or tomorrow i’m going over to gill’s to try on the 20 dresses of hers i set aside for my new orleans trip, which has been put back another week (after my birthday) and that eases my easily stressed out mind a tad.

dude, these chicks were BONKERS! near the end of liam’s set they come out of nowhere and party up a storm, i was filming them and the one in the white shirt hammed it up hardcore for me i couldn’t believe my eyes, oh youth.

oopsy daisy.

the thing is, his music and their dance moves, weren’t really in sync, at all.

judgemental groupie central.

if you go to shows then you’ve seen yvonne, she’s an institution, the first time i met her i buggered it up by saying she reminded me of this crazy woman from oakville, but somehow meant it as a compliment? she thought it was amusing, i said welp there’s lots more where that came from unfortunately.

and i told renita that her look reminded me of something extremely specific and do you want to hear it cos it might be crazy insulting? she’s like yeah tell me, i say ok you know the movie mrs. doubtfire, when robin williams has that show at the end when he’s that old lady, ha yeah mrs. doubtfire, whatever, well he has this puppet as a co-host? yeah well, you look like that puppet in that hat and leather jacket. i just tried to find a picture of that on google, can’t. if you have mrs. doubtfire and you don’t have a life can you watch that part of the movie for me and give me a confirmation on this please? thanks. thanks to mle for tracking one down!

it makes sense really, cos her brother brad looks like the muppets kind of, the other nite he looked like scrooge in his black scarf and dinner jacket ok you don’t care.

before all this we killed some time at gill’s after dinner at the re-opened midtown, new ownership, we think it’s going to tank (they’re trying to do bottle service!)

mom that red cardigan was yours, gill is the recipient of the majority of your shirts.

uhh…

someone have a little temper tantrum?

i kinda like it.

stella mccartney candy.

should i dye my hair all black again?

bluh!

fucking buzznet puts ads over their videos now, and i finally got youtube to upload a video, and then it was removed? it was just a vid of me jammin’ shittily to gh3’s paint it black what the fucking fuck. so i’m wicked pissed, i deleted the original, i guess i’ll try the one of paranoid next see how long that lasts.

anyway, black hair or keep it as is, thoughts?

i drank a vanilla ensure for lunch/starvation/hour of power and almost barfed it all up fuck that stuff is gross, and all i could think of was max the dog (in his last days fil’s mum gave max ensure and other fatty things cos he was losing a lot of weight) and my grandma, sitting on my grandma’s bed in her retirement room, having an ensure each, and how i associate ensure with death now. once you get to the bottom of the bottle there are gobs of gooey gross and after every sip you get a metallic taste in your mouth ungh if i concentrated hard enough on it right now i bet i could make myself barf.

then i had half a tylenol three cos my kidney is hurtin’

then i had a bath and painted my nails while listening to the same three songs i always listen to and wondered if the neighbours would give me shit or something cos they can no doubt hear everything that goes on in our ‘loo and i was hoping they would so i could say yeah well i’ve heard your fucking acoustic guitar music through the bedroom wall since we moved in, and it’s crap!

then i tried to sink to the bottom of the tub and felt really sleepy from the t3 then i plotted out infinity outfits to bring to new orleans and obsessed over how i was going to fit it all in my tiny suitcase and had many mini panic attacks (worst traveler ever) then i got out and now here i am hi.

yeah t3 always makes you kinda queasy, t3 + barf milkshake = spewiest idea yet.

oh and i chickened out of slamming on the wall when that old guy yelled at his wife again just now.