i don’t want to make you jealous but i was up all nite barfing and reading bust magazine on the bathroom floor then barfing more and we didn’t even party or anything last nite, my body just can’t deal anymore i guess, and don’t worry i spent a good deal of time thinking about every possible what the fuck is wrong with me scenario so don’t go off on me, i have an ultrasound early january so i will get to the bottom of it, until then i get to scare myself to the extreme and i am not drinking tonite for fil’s party so that should be real fun and on top of it we get a snowstorm. ps. email me raymitheminx@gmail.com for info if you haven’t already.

i would have been sobbing, it was at that point, but i didn’t want to wake up the world, the workd being fil, who was already partially awake anyway, and then cid unleashed a world of spew on the livingroom floor hisself.

the nite before i had barely five hours sleep so being awake last nite/this morning at 4am it was getting to the anxiety attack/hallucinations/going crazy point, there is just way too much time for introspection when you’re cross-legged on the bathroom floor shivering in your underwear feeling your stomach for possible aliens inside of you.

and i was retching and there was nothing to retch out so this leads me to believe it’s booze/food-related, hopefully? or a virus? how many times do i say i am never eating such and such again and then i do it anyway.

my eyes were so bloodshot i was like oh well at least i look like satan.

i’m truly elbowing britt in the nose here cos she slammed me in the face with her dancing elbows.

drunk email…yes! hope you enjoy!

Best wishes, B

+++

thanks henry, thought i don’t do pills.

funny thing, my aunt/uncle gave me a necklace from one of their many travels when i was a teenager, a jade necklace in the likeness of that dagger-looking thing i don’t know what they’re called, anyway i thought it was way too elaborate and was too embarrassed to ever wear it.

not looking so hot today my friends, a new shirt and necklace makes it a bit easier though.

it makes fucked up noises i’ll make a video later for you, good thing my niece doesn’t smoke weed it’s kind of satanic sounding.

here is what i bought

three bottles of expensive fancy olives, one with almonds shoved in them, one with red peppers, one sundried tomatoes.

a necklace for me

a sweater for me

a blue toy thing for my niece, not a webkinz, those things are a fad and awful-looking.

life aquatic for fil that he wants to return cos it was expensive and i bought him enough already but i’m keeping it, i want it.

unghfdklhgrea;oiwgfdskve ;lfhwfoiewhoewgh eldnv

hahaha

Hey Rami,
you may or may not care but surfin this afternoon (yeah porn, it’s Friday and I’m bored at work…) but I seen your pix here:

Just thought you should know.
Later
Mark

uuuuuuuuuungh

we are w/o coffee i am still ridiculously inhabiting another realm of fantastical being, hung and what’s better is crazy 1 and crazy 2 and i are going on a shopping date in like 30 minutes, and they’ve never met before and did i emphasize enough how exactly delicate i am right now?

friday afternoon

mall

xmastime

hangover

3 bigmouths

this is going to be a hilarious disaster.

i asked fil what he wanted for christmas he said wait what is my birthday present? HELLO that stupid hundred dollar purse for your camera! oh right thanks. he wants a big boy coat, which i cannot get on my own so f that looks like i’m buying webkinz and clothes for myself.

i’m not even showering.

do they make sunglasses for brains?

ungh today is going to be rough.

lets just say it almost ended in a street fight after 4.30am new ho king (which we are boycotting because they were wicked rude to us even before one of our party members fought with the entire restaurant, luckily my stupid outfit smoothed it over) and tons of food that i didn’t need but destroyed regardless.

before this we hung out at the gibson showroom for their anti-holiday party thing, it was great and free and unpretentiously schmoozy.

then we visitted the wrong bar that new hot ticket place in pdale and i danced like an elf and was spotted by a chick at the end of the nite who works for a casting agency who took my pictures i hope she wasn’t wearing fifty pairs of beer goggles.

then we went back to gibson and had a jamskies it was goodish. when people are loaded and you have long black hair and sit down at the drums, it is very easy for them to think they are listening to meg white, coast on that for awhile.

i should not be awake right now.

ps. last nite’s outfit received 5 gold stars.

ron sexsmith you know him?

hey flighty.

hi lindy.

update i wussed out i cant deal with looking like this tonite around a model so i changed shirts don’t worry i still look cute as hell and i am wearing my russian hat too so you don’t have to think about me tonite freaking out in my head talking like a manic braggy pile of shit because i am insecure about my middle.

eliz said i can pull this off don’t you dare make fun of my afternoon in the park 1970s mom stomach i am already suicidal enough just tell me i look good.

sigh that dirty mirror.

crafty pockets for when my stomach expands further later on tonite.

can you say mime hooker?

i am wolfing down ruffles onion dip and ruffles right now it’s been so long oh sweet chemical cream oh man am i fat. i texted fil during his lunch date with his old buddy that cid wanted him to bring me home something to eat, then he called and asked what and i said oh i dunno onion dip maybe he says are you sure i say yes i’m sure and now the magic is happening and it is snowing daintily outside the window and the xmas lights are on i will regret this all in ten minutes. yeah right i already do.

he also brought home vegan sandwiches?

i’m not giving myself room to breathe right now i can’t wait until i am as famous as david hasselhoff then the world can see me on the floor wasted inhaling chips and dip, help me make this dream come true, for the both of us.

did i mention i have a zit on the end of my nose too and i am sitting here with wet hair in a towel and my back is fire engine red from the tanning salon visit yesterday? i’m basically a monet right now.

Phil: could you link to this please i am credited

me: can you bring the bag of chips across the room to me

*update: i have a stomach ache.

update update i just found out one of gil”s friends who is coming otu with us tontie used to be a model.

i feel like i weigh 4500lbs and i plowed through all those chips and i was planning to wear a crazy dress tonite but now i can’t GREAT!

unearthing a long forgotten shirt.

babes!

pineapple anyone?

nosejob yeah this was barely even funny at the time what do you want from me?

i’m feeling the social’s skinny mirror bigtime.

ok i’ll be right back let me ask my boyfriend if he’s down.

i’ll kiss these instead.

there’s something wrong with your lights they’re all fucked.

i had my polaroid taken with her (and yes grow up that’s a drag queen).

henna has a contest going on right now on her site you should enter, it’s legit and today is the last day to enter.

if you think that looks greasy you should see what my hair looks like right NOW. the social’s heat was cranked too it wasn’t just me. oh and no tickets for your coat you get to search through 60 black coats to find your black coat fun and free!

i have a video of her performance i’ll youtube it later.

a guy from the national post talked to me and wrote down everything i was saying, i kept looking down at his notepad he said something like what i’m reporting i said that’s fine i’m just blown away that people listen to me when i talk, let alone write it down and then i couldn’t turn “it” “off” if you know what i mean, then i ran away. hi adam!

if you’re one of those spinster feminist-like chicks who boasts about their singledom here listen to this, boyfriend = 2 gift bags.

i wear those shoes never, i’m going to sell them, size 8, $20, any takers?