what did you do last nite? me? oh i just you know rushed the stage while two paris hiltons were trying to hog it secretly flipped them off fifty times and the entire audience erupted in cheers and high-fived me while kardinal offishall and some other guy i forget rapped. here is some footage of it. i’m dancing like a honky on purpose i swear, i was trying to make them feel stupid by dancing like a grade 8 dance party of one.
it was good that we were dressed like slobs last nite, i like doing that when i get vip for some launch event, cos all the others take it really seriously they’re like ahmagod all day long in their offices, sharon i have to go to a launch party tonite whatever will i wear??? SERIOUSLY SHARON! then i roll up and eat infinity free hamburgers and drinks and breakdance (i did) and people loved it (they did). the door guy was like uh YOU are on VIP? hahahaha. yes, and if you don’t like i will go home and come back looking even more like garbage. thanks rannie!
people were asking me questions as if i were on staff cos of the golf shirt i wore, one lady stroked my arm and flirtily asked about the fashion show i said WHAT!? and she asks when is it going to be, i said it already happened and it sucked and i hope it doesn’t happen again. but it did. maybe it was the orange hat. whenever i started dancing five cameras would charge me cos everyone else was standing in an insecure circle around the dancefloor not dancing so once i got cut i did these little manic foot moves what can pass as the beginning stages of breakdancing and everyone did that OH SHIT thing for me and i felt like a hero then went and hid by the window because i am shy.
i told kardinal that he did a pretty good job at humouring everyone and i bought it, he thought i was pretty funny. then we high-fived and he flew away into the nite on his fuscia unicorn.
when rannie first told me about this nite i initially thought it was a launch party for a new gay magazine, get it, outox? anyway, it’s this drink that boasts no hangover if you drink it all nite long, mix it with vodka blah blah, right now i can honestly tell you that i.am.hung. but they say that’s beCAUSE i wasn’t drinking it all nite long AND when i was, i was drinking it with alcohol.
now, i’m not a rocket scientist or anything but i’m pretty sure that you typically DO NOT get hangovers from NOT drinking alcohol, like, ALL THE TIME. so of COURSE you won’t be hungover if you drink outox all nite long. GOD!
