morning water friend.

good thing i didn’t have seconds. that little prick deserved it.

this guy asked me if my picture was going to be in the toronto sun i just laughed and said maaaaaaaaybe then he tried to get us to take some junk with us.

this post is brought to you by mental

i have had insane cramps all day long which can only mean that i have cervical cancer that’s what i decided this morning to be paranoid about because at my last physical my doctor was like go have an ultrasound ok sure gave me papers i didn’t call and cos these cramps are too early i have decided that little barely a cyst that she told me was from about to be having my period is full-blown cancer spread throughout my body and not just the about to have my period (again already?!) cramps. i need like ten fainting couches stacked in a pyramid like stairs and i slam down into all of them one by one like a chemical brothers video.

anyway if something works don’t fucking change it by trying out a different japanese restaurant MISTAKE. i actually left fish behind i think my sashimi honeymoon is over. on the way there in my head i was like should i shouldn’t i should i shouldn’t i try the place across the street from ghazale but then happened upon somewhere else instead.

somehow i choked my way through 15 pieces thank god for sake.

i do not need to eat again for the rest of my life even though i still went to dominion to get prosciutto and two bananas and milk but all the students took the milk so i put back my selections then went to noah’s for organic save the world products but no bananas or prosciutto, prosciutto being the only fucking reason i left the building in the first place.

i carried my milk and hummus and okra wrap in my hands no bag and i could tell these frat boys on my way home were all picturing me cooking them dinner in flip flops and underwear.

now i am going to read my emo book on the couch and take advantage of the alternate reality vicious cramps puts you in.

this is how i feel right now:

haha i am going to put this in my facebook and tag my brother’s name to it i will update you with his response later. if you didn’t know this is the robot guy from aliens and we used to do impressions of him all the time when he pukes all over himself as he is getting torn in half we make his warbly puking noises.

ps. has anyone heard the new bjork album is it good and worth buying?

all i want to eat today is a mountain of prosciutto. i think it might happen too. i will let you know of course. it’s all i am thinking about.

saw land of talk last nite and before that cloud cult played and had a little painting jam slam on the stage and this one guy said they ripped off that idea from some other band that used to do it over ten years ago, i thought that’s funny that’s like saying you ripped off my wearing hats idea.

wendi was the only smart person to join us.

i like it when someone from the audience catcalls something they think is funny but so isn’t and you can tell it is their first time at a show in a long time and the band has to go along with what they say and everyone feels embarrassed.

i had to use a hair elastic to tie my shirt up higher around my neck, it’s too big and rests just at my nipples and they shake out too easy you care.

the other one sold first for 150 though i think this one is better but i just noticed the antennae so dock ten coolness points – the other one wins despite the jetson’s hypnotize swirls for pupils. this one sold too.

ghostender go back to the shining!

how you know nerds hang here.

leg warmers are fine i wear them all the time but those rave moon boots are not cool i don’t care how much ecstasy you’ve done in the past get out of here.

totally judging the scene i love it.

yeah i don’t know why i do it either.

ever since wendi told me about red carpet smiling it has ruined me. lips closed, teeth parted. mental.

leviride is now defunct and we nabbed their drummer, andrew, for our new band not yet named.

then we took a cab home and shared a small lovely bag of zesty cheese doritos.

green room bbq chicken special, i have never had it with fries before it is always a salad, the people there just know you are a fries or a salad, but the chick we had was a fucking social reject and melissa could see her pubic hair trail and she had an undershave w/ ponytail ew.

i’m like, doesn’t this come with salad and undershave says no in slow-motion and looks at me like i am from venus. i think she was on valium or something. tackiest outfit ever too. i looked at the menu and saw that it clearly states salad or fries but decided not to make it into a “thing” and kept it to myself. for once.

then i’m like oh great now i am going to get food poisoning this is why i am not supposed to eat here but eat here anyway, sigh.

it was fine but still a little dubious considering it was green room cuisine.

you feel way more disgusting about yourself when there are fries you didn’t ask for on your plate.

mom i am spending the day in toronto lots of walking shoes haha.

september 2006 archives continued. can’t wait ’til i am doing this next year and it takes my blog twenty times longer to load and my computer crashes sets on fire explodes.

overheard at the argos game.

barfball.

stop thinking that i look good like that.

what are you even trying to convince me of?

everything i do is a song.

lie with me review.

one year ago today.

i think i am spending too much time alone.

oh shut up i could have been meaner.

ps. my skinny pants turned out good.

love amber.

what do it ever produce that isn’t?

pretty smart for a dyke.

nice things.

i have to practise unbitchy things to say.

that shit 17-20 yr olds play off as “confidence”

go away i’m not home.

dance like a total whore no matter what.

night of the boring lame.

steve’s wedding. do you want to buy my dress?

i’m trying to make it look like i am doing important work.

sunday drives.

lucky number slevin review.

v for vendetta review.

wow how prophetic pfft.

haha banana avenue.

there has been zero progress made on that thing.

don’t double dong them.

bringing back the caption.

welp.

Bye dear, laura.

THE ARTIST

i woke up with weed hair.

pitt sucks.

blog party when i was fat.

my niece is cuter than yours.

i made that in grade 6.

sigh.

we cum on your table.

I was right.

not funny.

i am very sexy.

raddest boots!

i’ve seen his dick.

didn’t bring a hat.

we didn’t bring suntan lotion so fil used my makeup.

we didn’t bring a closet, either.

out of wine.

time to get european: beach style!

ewwwwww!

is there internetspeak for Barfing on the floor laughing, yet? BOFL?

this chick was by herself all afternoon made us feel sad.

man legs.

sigh.

dear raymi

Sorry if this isn’t my place!! I was just going to pass along that I think I identify with you and how annoying your mom can be. My mom can be the same way. She’s trying to relive (though they never existed) her young, sexy years and she scolds you like a child because that’s all she can do, but really she is just jealous, I guess. She just wants attention and hides that by being ‘motherly’. Ugh, it even annoys me that your mom tries to steal your thunder. It is a little pathetic too. Boo. And then she gets all wounded when you get annoyed like she is only trying to help, but really she is just being a bit selfish. That is my opinion, but maybe I’m just projecting cause my own mom is like that a bit. I don’t think it’s really fair how parents can be assy sometimes. They can though. I try not to get mad at my mom because this behaviour is harmless if not annoying and she is really really great for other reasons. Like really great! So I don’t fight with her like I did when I was younger. Also, it is easier because I am far away from her now and we are no longer in “competition” like she is an insecure girl friend. It is so ridiculous anyway that I/we should have to “compete” with our moms… Anyway, I related in my own way and wanted to tell you. Also, I really like your blog too! It is really entertaining!!