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Ryan: oh yeah guy you said to write to wrote back eventually and said “cool any more cool stories?” or some such

me: yeah like they cant just decide and settle
tell me what kind of story you want and i will write it im not a sorcerer

Ryan: yeah you can’t rush drunk moose riding genius

me: ya

Ryan: oh yeah we jumped on a moose it was swimming probably shoulda told ya buddy

me: omg

Ryan: in case we can’t be friends anymore cause we jump on moose up here

me: and do they attack you

Ryan: she was surprisingly calm about it after the first guy i jumped off before it got to an island or i would have got chucked around like a muppet
well they think we’re stupid look

me: meeses think you are stupid?

Ryan: no youse guys
the meeser drink all night bai

me: that chick is studying sociolinguistics what a loser

Ryan: it made me inspired to study sociolinguistics you loser

me: how about being inspired to get a life

Ryan: sociolinguistical life maybe
k im pullin yr tailfeathers i have a life
i watch water it’s my job
water and water accessories

me: really?
do you piss a lot

Ryan: i can start to piss, light a smoke and be done the smoke before the piss

me: jesus
why dont you make a bunch of hipster art and then have an art show in toronto every 1/4 year and be rich and famous

Ryan: sometimes you just really dont wanna break the cork

me: doofy scenesters would think you were a legend with your retarded stories

Ryan: it never occured to me but okay
yeah the tourists from down there are easily amused
by like all of us

me: milk it

Ryan: norval morrisseau already tried i thought

me: who the fuck is that

Ryan: ok my first exhibit will be called chuck a piece of shed moose horns on the fire to ward off mosquitoes
that is a question for omniscient google

Ryan: i’ve never been to toronto it sounds fun

me: you remind me of the movie gummo when you speak to me

Ryan: that doesn’t help me i didn’t see it should i speak faster?

me: see it and then wait for the wicked burn to kick in

Ryan: i’ll just call you a hippie now then
so i don’t feel so bad later
don’t you have felt friends to groove with sister

me: i gave up on those pieces of shit
take way too long
make my back hurt
sell them for like 20 40 bucks

Ryan: how’d they pull that off
say fil made them and then they’re instant indian artifacts
for 40 and 80 bucks


Ryan: seriously that shit can work
i sold a HOT DOG STICK raymi
me: a hot dog stick?
the only appeal is that when i am dead or more famous that person will than have something worth 300 dollars
and i get screwed

Ryan: oh yeah eh



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