i am not coughing up blood anymore but my nose is a fucking snot sweat shop if i don’t update i am either dead or at my dad’s where there isn’t internet access today i was going to go to work with him but he was all uh you are ill stay home it’s cool so i slept ’til 11 and then puttered around and watched garbage television and felt like my life was pretty much meaningless then i spied on the busybody neighbour across the street, he is a hardcore nosy fuck and last nite when i was getting ready for bed about midnite he was swinging a bat in his front yard, alone, AT MIDNITE, totally peeping me through the blinds. so today i took a spy video of him on his driveway dumping poolwater into the gutter, his little daughters running around at his ankles, full-on ignoring them. then he waddled over to his neighbours to most likely describe how beautiful and mysterious i am.

ungh.

tomorrow is my grandma’s ash memorial then fil is going up north for cottage stag weekend (JEALOUS) and i am hanging with my dad, so tomorrow, no blog updates.

someone pointed out in my comments that there is a wikipedia entry on me now. i hope it doesn’t get deleted.

i feel pretty bummed lately, my mouth, now i’m fucking sick, stressed about my dad, his right leg is pretty weak and he’s blue about it, fil is going away on this long weekend, well, at least i lost some more weight.

i am drinking shitty champagne.

lates.

complaint department update: i think my throat is infected, i cannot speak, it hurts like hell to cough, sometimes i spit up blood when i cough, i feel like a fucking reject, i lost 4 pounds since last nite. don’t worry i will put it back on in one second. i can’t believe that pinhead won antm. she talks like how i write, totally cringe-worthy guttermouth trash and she is basically a ribcage with legs and massive teeth.

i guess that’s FASHION.

last nite at the green room i spent two hours staring at a girl i thought was some girl from highschool who i was sort of friends with and after 120 minutes of criticizing everything about her and her friends, it wasn’t her.

i didn’t want to reminisce anyway.

hey how are you what do you do oh just finishd university why is your hair piled on top of your head like that and what happened to modelling? me? i uh i write about myself all day long on the internet yep everyday, on the internet, mmhmm oh i wrote a book, it’s nothing, yeah i do other things too can’t really tell you about it, yeah i’m pretty much exactly as self-absorbed and “above it” as i was in highschool if not more, yeah ok we should catch up sometime….

next.

also i got to go inside one of the frathouses around the corner cos someone had to get weed, it was the same frathouse that i yelled at those kids that were catcalling me from the roof.

+++

Stanley: how are you
raymi one time i saw u at 751 queen st west but i was too loser to say hi so the next day i went to yr blog to read about it and u were all blah blah it was boring and full of lame kids who try really hard to look interesting or soemthing
and i knew u were talking about me because i was wearing like a rabbit pelt on my shoulder
DO YOU REMEMBER

me: were you wearing pants that showed your underwear

Stanley: hmmm doesnt sound like me but if my pants like slipped down a bit u might of seen them

me: were you with two chicks

Stanley: probaly

me: i dont think it was you i was making fun of then
were you sitting

Stanley: i was doing everything

me: where were you mostly

Stanley: maybe dancing

me: and why didnt you say hi
upstairs?

Stanley: i was star struck

me: we were upstairs mostly

Stanley: i think i came upstairs
oh and recognized u by yr boots

me: did your friend have a disposable camera

Stanley: i saw yr boots and was like omg raymi has those boots omgit is raymi

me: it is safe to say that i wasnt making fun of you

Stanley: and no but my friend was like the photographer for the night

me: well why didnt you say hi

Stanley: i am dissappointed

me: i like having my picture taken

Stanley: next time i will say hi

me: were you wearing red pants

Stanley: no jeans
i can probaly find a picture for you

me: yes send one
i DID feel like i was being watched that nite tho
and normally i chalk it up to being self involved and crazy and fil never believes me when i say people are staring at me
so

Stanley: hahaha
i wasnt like stalking u
wow i look realy bad

me: dark places are good for spying

Stanley: oh it wont let me send it to u
maybe it is on like pinkmafia

me: try harder
probs

Stanley:

that is me

me: oh i recognize that thing yeah i liked it actually and made a note to copy it but forgot

Stanley: hahhaa

me: so what sort of burns were you making

merkley???: mean ones
my best one was this
your style could get away with murder cuz it would be impossible to pick out of a line up, but the fact that he deleted the whole thread was the biggest burn

me: oh wow

merkley???: when your cronies see that you deleted that thread — ha haha — they won’t say anything, but they will be thinking WUSSLAND 3000 FOR SURE

merkley???: then when he logged off cuz i was killing him i emailed
wow — your wuss factor is through the ROOF!
i’m in ur emaylzpoopnz on urz gigz
i also wrote
DOCHE OF THE DAY!!!
i left the U out of douche for OBVIOUS reasons.U are the main ingredient.i hate redundancy

me: oh my god
you are psycho!

merkley???: ha ha
dood
he picked the fight
he talked about me for hours on that board before letting me join
then his peeps turned on him
he deserved it
you know how that goes
you’d do the same

me: ok right
yeah people get mental when i show up and defend myself in their shit slinging forum

merkley???: they dont expect it

me: yah
then they are like go away this is OUR discussion about you

merkley???: people think you’re supposed to just sit back and pretend it isnt happening
did you see how bruce willis got on a board about die hard?
and nobody believed it was him

me: like you are not allowed to say anything they would rather hang with all their incorrect assumptions of you and don’t want the truth to stroll in and ruin it

merkley???: so he got his webcam up and proved it

me: woah
and then everyone turns and is like I LOVE YOU

merkley???: yeah i rained on their hate parade
thats exactly what happened

me: sad
like you kids for real are on the internet talking about a real fucking person who slays harder than you ever will?

merkley???: yeah the bruce willis thing is cool

me: i meant ME haha

merkley???: there are screenshots of the kid with him on webcam and the kid looks stunned

me: when did that happen

merkley???: couple of days ago

me: !!!
lucky kids
i was just complaining about messageboards and now i am jealous

hey guess what everyone?

I FEEL LIKE SHIT!

antm finale in 50 minutes. go russian chick!

also, emptying the bathroom garbage is a disgustingly thrilling activity. it’s like ew gross but ooh yes! sickitatingly delicious. especially around that time of the month ooh what mystical goodies spill out? or snot rags you forgot about and can be proud of all over again.

don’t even get me started on the smell.

there is nothing more funny than fil’s face when he is thinking about emptying out my menstrual rubbish.

note to self, stop sharing thoughts.

i went to the tate in london and saw this one dude’s “art” (forget his name) and it was basically the entire contents of his wife’s bathroom rubbish bin. it was neat cos everything was old, old condom, old lipstick container, ancient pill boxes, creams.

i highly doubt that today my garbage could be considered as art, unless i was dating banksy, then it would be art. or i could make fil’s garbage, art. anyway.

this woman said to my mom WRONG WAY LADY when we were pulling into the go station yesterday, everyone uses this shortcut wrong way or not and we weren’t even in the way of her fat face suv smoking her post-commute cig so i told her to FUCK OFF. i didn’t get to hear her response.

getting the train from union i barely made it, i ran ran ran ran ran from the subway up the stairs this little kid walking all slow his dad looking at me cos i’m creeping up behind them obvs. in a hurry and he’s basically challenging me with his mind to just DARE say excuse me so i wait for the little dude to learn how to fucking walk then i fly to the ticket guy despite having one minute to go and my train is flashing track 2 by the time i run to the stairs it’s not even listed on the screens anymore so i book it (haven’t eaten all day, no caffeine and i’m gushing blood so i am supes energy-low) up the stairs and i am two from the top and i can see there is no train on the track, my lungs are about to explode and i am out of breath so i stand there all deflated let my purse fall to the ground and decide ok i’ll walk up the last two steps so i can peep my train going off without me to feel miserable full-circle, so i slowly trudge the rest of the way up and around the corner and THERE IT IS! so i run and get through the door and pant and sweat in my seat for ten minutes with everyone staring at me in their work clothes and i am dressed for summer. had i stood in that doorway wallowing in my misery ten seconds longer the train would have scooted off without my knowledge and i HAD to catch it to make my dentist appointment.

was that like reading indiana jones?

LOOK at that!

mmmmmmmmmm fil’s dinner

ok i bring you the tooth news update now.

they are letting my wisdom tooth grow in they think i have enough room in my mouth for it to party, i always knew i had a big mouth, it is still in fucking agony, i cried and said I AM IN SO MUCH FUCKING PAIN and dude gave me a ‘script for tylenol 2s before that he was all oh just gargle with warm water and salt oh yeah that will totally help and my mom was being a mom saying oh i don’t want her to have pills whatever MOM! my mouth felt fine all day until my mom drove me mental about 5 o’clock and i was like see ya and rode the train to union where pitt got on at long branch and we met fil and saw the blue jays game and got ripped.

oh i have 4 cavities that i get to have worked on next week.

and my throat is sore/swollen from i guess tooth pain but also i feel like i am sick and my left ear is aching.

ps. tylenol 2s/3s totally constipate you, tylenol 2 not as much as 3 but still holy fuck i feel like a million deuces are piling up inside me and i cannot release HELP.

this concludes today’s edition of TOOTH NEWS.

< insert lightning bolt graphic >

+++

i bought a new dress for my grandma’s ashes memorial this weekend, here it is:

it will have stains on it inside ten minutes. sigh.

i got some shirts and socks too.

go to fil‘s blog for more pictures.

holy threatsville!!!!!