we watched the prestige last nite it is awesome i liked it better than the illusionist and we got in a huge fight about copying people as in a carbon copy of me or fil maybe i can’t even talk about this cos the entire plot will be ruined. anyway we were yelling and talking over each other arguing the same side of the fence and were both right.

we realised that our friend jeff looks exactly like christian bale look:

you’re welcome dude consider halloween covered!

yesterday fil ate a hamburger in front of me and i had chicken florentine soup more like BOREntine. i made a massive amount of guacamole there are a lot of leftovers i think i will add chicken to it today and make it into wraps or just eat it with our hands cos we are slobs. everytime a rotisserie chicken comes into the condo we put it on the stove hovering above it devouring it with our bare hands in silence and only after three or four minutes we realise how disgusting we are, laugh, and eat some more and that’s dinner cos we are too full to do or make anything else. oh man i love that chicken. fil said he ate one on his lunchbreak by himself once. hot. i would write a missed connections about that YOU WERE WEARING A NICE SUIT PURPLE TIE AND EATING THE CARCASS OF A SPIT ROASTED CHICKEN TO YOUR FACE ALONE ON A BENCH AT LOBLAWS YESTERDAY AFTERNOON AND YOU WERE HUMMING TO YOURSELF WITH A CRAZY LOOK IN YOUR EYE I JUST WANTED TO SAY HI ARE YOU SINGLE?

oh also fil sneaks all the skin into his mouth before he comes through the door cos i told him to skin is too much of a temptation and i have close to zero willpower and even though i told him to not bring any skin home i get SUPER fucking mad when he listens. he eats it in the belowground parking lot. there is always a tiny bit leftover and i ok i will stop talking about rotisserie chicken now.

i have a hitler zit.

a hitler zit is a zit anywhere under your nose above your lip and you have to pick at it for it to be a hitler zit so your skin gets all irritated red and it spreads into a little hitler ‘stache. it is really fucking attractive. i never got zits under my nose until cid upped his waking me up ante by putting his dirty paw on my lips, dick. now i get one every three weeks or the same one surfaces again it’s right on that awning part above your lips no it is not herpes i have never ever had a cold sore before in my life, people who get cold sores are societal failures. pamela anderson + hep c = failure i don’t care how many millions she has. you guys know i am kidding right? anyway.

i met fil for lunch after we ate we went to rotate to get some music and he took a bunch of pictures of me and this old guy who works there maybe even manages who knows asks what he is taking pictures for and fil gives him some attitude not thinking that the guy is only being curious ie. WHAT MUSICIAN/ARTIST ARE YOU? you know how peeps like to do interviews in “cool” “urban” stores? anyway the point of this is the dude thought i was important because of fil’s camera and fil was almost a dick to him. the end.

then i returned the movie and rented the prestige, the late fee was 6 dollars. then i got some avocados tomatoes onion lemon and other stuff i’m going to make guacamole for the ANTM party tonite.

i fucked up my left hand yesterday going through the turnstile into the subway you know the new heavy ones that’s like walking through a robocop movie well i put my token in with my right hand and went to push with my left planning to apply equal force to push with both hands, but i didn’t, i pushed 90% with my left hand and it locked up, bent backwards pretty much and i come out the other side wincing holding my left wrist fil is like HURY UP BLEEEARGH and i was about to have a melt-down then i put both hands out and simulated typing on a keyboard, yep all fingers worked fine enough sans pain, exclaimed WE ARE GOOD and silenced the suck-attack.

the ganglion that hangs out on my left hand is back in full-force also there is a patch of wind-burnt dry skin near my thumb my left hand is HIDEOUS is what i am saying i have old lady lizard skin.

WELCOME TO LAVA RAYMI LIFE! I HAVE HERE AN ELIGIBLE LADY WHO LIVES IN TORONTO AND IS COOL. GO SPY ON HER AND SEND HER EMAILS IF YOU ARE SINGLE AND INTERESTED AND NOT A PIECE OF GARBAGE!

well raymi, i don’t know what to write about myself or how to write what i want in a man. my fingers are hovering above the keyboard and i can’t think of anything to say.i like boys that have same interessts as me, art, literature, travelling somebody who is hilarious and witty, i don’t know sooooo gayyyyy i feel like im on lava life, not that i ever had. I say go check out my flickr and blog and then see if i seem interessting. then take it from there.
i dont know raymi unless u wanna say something you’ve got ways with words.
I’m lonely and i need to date, i work so much i dont have time to go out there and meet people.

ohhh raymi lauren u are the best. if i get married i’ll make u my flower girl or best woman whatever its called.

i have not returned marie antoinette and i rented it LAST TUESDAY. it is on the floor by the door and everytime i pass it to go pee i get scared and anxious. at what point does a movie store stop tallying up late fees? fuck. i am afraid to rent a movie now, i will let fil be in charge of that.

i have to find a good picture of kurt cobain i have been commissioned to do one of my retardo portraits. link some of yer favourite pictures in the comments if you are bored, make them biggerish if possible.

last nite’s fight:










arran: yesterday I was getting ready for a meeting. There was this big projection on the wall of a desk top and I was opening stuff from emails

me: oh no

arran: But corran and I were saying that I should hurry up and close my gmail because we saw that you were online haha, I always think that when I am doing work stuff with my email and I see you are there I’m waiting for the day a message from you pops up where you call me fag and start talking about poo or something when there is a board room filled with gay men and ladies in suits

me: tell me when i should do it i will say something like

arran: do you have any poo stories?

me: THERE IS A PARTY IN MY PANTS
YES

arran: oh ya

me: one time i crapped my bathingsuit
a one piece bathingsuit no less

arran: great

me: it was not awesome
my friend lise had that projection thing happen to her when she was teaching her msn popped up, everyone laughed her friends msn name was party in my pants

arran: nice

me: yes

arran: there is a poo party in my one piece bathing suit and you’re all invited

me: ew
it was a black bathingsuit

arran: it must be weird being an astronaut

me: diapers
ew

arran: it must be hard the first time you are like well here it goes I have to shit myself on purpose all the astronauts must talk about it with each other

me: my experience i ran from the pool at this motel resort thing up to the room and pounded on the door and as my mom answered it i let loose i could not control it so she opens the door to me standing there crapping like mad it was loud and violent and she busted up laughing

arran: haha

me: and my brother ran after me cos he knew something was up i ran away with my hand over my ass

arran: geez

me: and he turns the corner to see me crapping myself from a whole different angle

arran: haha

me: this story has been told by my mother to every single boyfriend i have ever had
and all of our friends
and their friends