last nite i ate 2/3 of a roast chicken from loblaws well maybe 3/4 of it or 4/5 depending which way you look at it cid helped me. i started eating it with my mouth only holding the container in my hand/lap and going at it, lise was like NICE ONE despite having not eaten an animal in two months, we pull into the gas station and this douche taxi driver is aiming to take the pump we had been waiting thirty seconds for, i roll down the window, chicken in one hand, it all over my face and fingers and make a sarcastic angry motion that uh excuse me this is our pump and he returns the sarcastic gesture being all well go to it then meanwhile he was diagonally about to saddle up to it so he goes away lise gets out to pump and i am in the car eating my chicken and luckily no one else was watching you know when you are in the car and there is another car in front facing you and you and the person sitting in the other car have to act like you aren’t looking at each other every 4 seconds and you play that look then look away game i hate that.
then as lise is trying to back up to leave this yuppie turd in a white SUV blocks us in and by now it is established that we are ragelors probably the smell of the chicken and the stupidity of all of toronto except for me and lise so she gets out of the car and tells the guy to BACK UP who was on his cellphone totally oblivious to the fact that we can’t move for his shitty mobile cos he has blocked us in, i am very nervous about this because lise has totally fought people in cars before haha.
before this incident we are pulling into the lcbo and this other car pulls in from the other entrance and does a stand-off with us and we are like wtf MOVE then it does and we go back to talking about girl things and as we are walking to the entrance this little troll woman in wellies and garbageman clothes starts telling us about lise’s missing light and how she didn’t know what to do and how we should be careful when we are leaving and we are just standing there giving the you are a fucking retard face. I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO COS YOU ARE MISSING A LIGHT. i like when people give you lessons you didn’t ask for like it is do or die. then i spied on her in the lcbo at this point i wasn’t sure if she was even a woman and i was thinking about my chicken and i hadn’t eaten all day I WILL KILL EVERYTHING! the troll went right to the beer section, i didn’t see what she got, unfortunately. lise said her headlight has been missing for six months and no one has given her a lesson about it before.
then before we went to pay i said lise this lady talks a lot watch this and then we go to pay and the cashier talks to us forever and lise is trying to contain herself. anyway i like that chatty lady, the first time she spoke to me last summer i was a bit freaked out cos i spend all day alone, a whole day can go by and i won’t have opened my mouth to say anything and then i walk to the lcbo alone thinking about stupid shit and then this lady starts a full-blown conversation with me it was too nice i felt like i had to jump through that window right now but it did make me feel special for the rest of the day.
more on how fucking insane i am to come.
ps. i am sick of winter.