Monthly Archives: September 2006
me update
i dyed my hair dark brown this is what it looks like when i wake up also my eyes are very tiny and slitty in the morning and extra more tiny w/o a yard of mascara crumbed all around them
i went to the burbs to visit my dad and also fil got a haircut and bumped into a few people i know and one was like OOOH YOU CAME TO TOWN JUST COS FIL IS GETTING HIS HAIRCUT? i’m like NO MY GRANDMA JUST FUCKING DIED AND I AM VISITTING MY DAD WHO IS HAVING A TOUGH TIME DEALING WITH IT.
then they showed off their polished wedding bands. i felt like saying actually me and fil have been dating two years now, we are best friends and are pretty much inseparable where the fuck is your husband? but i didn’t and i didn’t even say the my grandma just died line i only said it to you guys cos i want you to think i can think quickly on my feet like that, but i DID say i was hanging with my dad. ungh.
we went to a different bar and me and dad and his childhood friend played a few songs it was good everyone was like YOU ARE AWESOME i was like I KNOW then my dad and this guy got in a beatles fight and it was cool cos his childhood friend was there to back up my dad and i said dad this is you x2 you know beatles war? then i told the other guy that they were arguing the same side of the fucking fence they just didn’t know it.
oh yeah i picked up two boxes full of shit i haven’t seen in four years that jeff mailed from new hampshire cos his mom was going to throw it out so i may be selling a few things that smell like a cottage.
that’s all i can think of for now bye.
a year ago today, yesterday
Dear Raymi,
I’ve been reading your blog for only a few weeks, and I haven’t left you any comments, but I felt compelled to write you for no good reason. I was visiting a friend one weekend and she got weird and started checking blogs when she was tired of listening to me, so I was like “What the hell?” And when she stopped responding to me altogether, I pretended to take an interest in what she was looking at.
I asked her a few vague questions and she said “This is Raymi. She gets like a million hits a day, but her boyfriend’s hot and she reminds me of you.” So. Someone is like me out there?
Naturally I started semi-stalking you- at first to see what my friend thought of me. Later desperately seeking something we have in common. And still later, I’m just kind of addicted to reading about… well… I guess nothing really?
I think what finally drove me to write you is to say that no, we’re not really alike. Or, at least, aside from carrying on functioning relationships while also being awesome at drinking, we don’t have a whole lot in common (from what one can tell through a blog anyway.) But I wanted to let you know that I love your writing style, because a lot of the time I feel like it’s how I think.
And I also wanted to say that I think you must be a really special person if in your daily thoughts on the world, it’s so obvious exactly how sweet and thoughtful you are.
I guess, I just wish that I knew more people like you in my actual life. Because I kinda think we could be friends.
I hope you’re having a good day!
-Molly
i changed my mind, the people i hate the most are the ones who DEFEND university students. dear raymi you are more annoying than university students because YOU don’t/didn’t go to univeristy. ? ok loser.
i’m not in the mood yet to write my top ten reasons why university students suck list maybe after my espresso ANYWAY here is an EXCERPT from the book i am writing whilst simultaneously doing NOTHING with my LIFE:
~
Last nite, I got belligerently drunk with Larry cos he is going away to Colorado with his dog Carl for a few months. He’s fallen in love with some all American blond something or other and says I can come visit in a month or so’s time if all goes well. We went to Hemingway’s and Larry spilled a pitcher of beer all over some yuppie’s leather coat and the yuppie gets all angry and Larry whips out all this money and shuts the guy up right away. It was pretty funny on account of Larry dresses like a complete hobo and then he has all this money and he’s hanging out with me, and I was wearing my brought to you by communism/Keibler elves outfit. Anyway. We never fit in anywhere we go.
So because of sans anti-depressants and my every few day mental meltdowns and depression spirals I’ve commenced work on the compliment machine. I emailed Martin some rough blueprint sketches and he mailed me back a bunch of notes, tips, instructions of what generally needs to be done as well as touching up my rough drafts. I’m not too worried about the techie side of the machine and it’s interior components cos every other person I know is more than qualified to help out and this project is pretty ridiculous so it won’t be hard to convince people to join in.
I’ve been watching a lot of television and independent/foreign movies lately cos I’m sussing out the ultimate complimenting voice and tones and pitches and everything about the English tongue. I’m thinking the first version will be a female’s voice though I’m not entirely certain that it will be. If it is a guy’s voice it has to be British.
I am thinking a tiny pocket-sized machine would be best, you know, travel-light so when you are at work and you get a nasty email from your boyfriend you can go into a bathroom stall, put in your little ear-buds and be complimented in privacy.
Though a big ridiculous machine on your dresser or nightstand would be pretty cool also I think, like the very first computer that was the size of a bank vault?
Hmm.
~
i pretty much do not like any university students ok well i like the first year ones that are very shy and insecure and polite and walk with their hands clasped behind their backs but the ones who do their grocery shopping the same time that i do are very annoying them and a million per cent of the rest of the population and yes i know i am crotchety and impatient but so what during summer you are like cool life is cool and then after labor day you are like oh yeah YOU GUYS AGAIN.
yesterday on our way back from the cottage we stopped in beaverton to eat at subway and the sandwich artist knew that i was cool and i was being nice and let her think that i thought she was cool too and then when we went to leave i experienced a random wave of friendliness and yelled out BYE to the entire restaurant and 1. no one said bye back 2. no one looked at me 3. i am a loser
and then i had a cigarette and half put it out and tossed it in a garbage can with four mean bees flying in and out of it and then i went back and poured some water in it cos i wasn’t sure if it was truly out and then the rest of the ride home i was like OK THAT ENTIRE PLAZA IS GOING TO BURN TO THE GROUND AND THE NEWSPAPER WRITE-UP WILL BE SOMETHING LIKE:
FUCKING LOSER SETS PARKING LOT ON FIRE COS NO ONE SAID BYE TO HER
ps if i make the effort to say bye or thanks when i leave your fast food chain you had better say bye to me like you are allowed to yell out bye or arigato when you leave japanese restaurants but in a plastic food chain establishment once you pay and eat, the relationship is null and void between you and the cashier?
anyway I HATE EVERYONE
